Get ready to ho-ho-howl with laughter! These 10 Christmas jokes are packed with holiday cheer and cheeky humor to keep your spirits bright. Whether you need a quick laugh or a joke to share at the holiday table, these festive funnies will surely bring everyone joy!
Ah, Christmas! The time of year when everything sparkles, people get a little more generous, and we all pretend fruitcake is something we look forward to eating.
A woman sitting at a table with a plate of fruitcake | Source: Pexels
The holiday season is full of cheer, and it’s also a great time for laughter. Whether you’re cozy by the fireplace or stuck at a family gathering looking for a way to break the ice, these jokes are sure to bring a smile.
So grab your hot cocoa, settle in, and get ready to chuckle with these festive funnies!
A Christmas Test at Heaven’s Gates
Three men find themselves at the pearly gates of heaven on Christmas Eve. Saint Peter meets them with a stern look and a challenge.
St. Peter standing at heaven’s gates | Source: Midjourney
“To get into heaven tonight, you each need to show me something that represents Christmas.”
The first man digs into his pockets, pulls out a match, and lights it. “This is a Christmas candle,” he says with a hopeful smile.
“Impressive,” Saint Peter says and waves him through.
A man holding a lit match | Source: Pexels
The second man reaches into his jacket and jangles a set of keys. “These are Christmas bells,” he grins.
Saint Peter nods, letting him pass.
Then, the third man steps up, pulling out a pair of red panties.
Puzzled, Saint Peter asks, “And what on earth do these have to do with Christmas?”
Women’s underwear | Source: Unsplash
The man smirks, “They’re Carol’s.”
If that joke didn’t light your Christmas candle, this next one might leave you laughing all the way to New Year’s Day. It’s a story of holiday hangovers, memory lapses, and a husband waking up to a Christmas surprise he definitely wasn’t expecting.
The Hungover Husband’s Christmas Surprise
Paul wakes up groggy and disoriented after his company’s Christmas party. He can barely remember how he got home, and his pounding headache isn’t helping.
A man sitting on the side of the bed | Source: Pexels
As he pries his eyes open, he notices a glass of water, two aspirin, and a single red rose on his nightstand. His clothes are neatly folded, and the room is spotless. In the bathroom, he notices he has a black eye, and his wife has left him a note on the mirror.
“Darling, breakfast is on the stove. I left early to pick up groceries for your favorite dinner tonight. I love you!”
In the kitchen, a full breakfast is waiting, and his son is already at the table.
A boy eating breakfast | Source: Midjourney
Paul asks his son, “What happened last night?”
“Well, you got home super late, totally drunk, and made a mess. You tripped over the coffee table, broke it, and smashed into the door, giving yourself that black eye.”
Confused, Paul stammers, “Then why is everything so perfect this morning?”
A confused man | Source: Midjourney
His son shrugs, “Oh, that’s easy. When Mum tried to take off your pants, you yelled, ‘Leave me alone! I’m married!’”
Let’s keep it going with a military twist on Christmas wishes. Sometimes, what you ask for isn’t exactly what you get, especially when you’re stationed away from home. This one’s for anyone who knows the struggles of life in uniform during the holidays.
The Soldier’s Christmas Wish
Two soldiers are in the mess hall chatting about past Christmas memories.
Two soldiers chatting | Source: Midjourney
“I’ll never forget that one Christmas,” the first soldier says. “I spent an entire week peeling potatoes.”
“What happened?” his friend asks.
“Well, the sergeant asked what I wanted for Christmas,” he recalls.
“And what did you ask for?”
A soldier | Source: Pexels
“A new sergeant,” the first soldier replies.
Ready for a joke that’s heaven-sent? This next story features a monk who spent years copying ancient texts, only to uncover a little mistake that could change everything. It’s a reminder that even the holiest of tasks can come with a hilarious twist!
The Monastic Misprint
A monk named David had spent years copying ancient religious texts by hand. He worked hard at his job and dedicated himself to upholding his vows to be obedient and celibate and free himself from the desire for possessions.
A devout monk working on religious texts | Source: Midjourney
One day, shortly before Christmas, the head abbot entrusted David with the task of verifying the original manuscripts had been copied and translated precisely, word-for-word.
On Christmas day, David was nowhere to be found. Eventually, the head abbot located him in the archives, crying uncontrollably.
“Brother David, what’s wrong?” the abbot asked.
“All this time… we’ve been copying it wrong,” David sobbed.
“Copying what wrong?” the abbot pressed.
A monk and an abbot looking at religious texts | Source: Midjourney
“The word wasn’t ‘celibate’… it was ‘celebrate’!”
If you thought that last one was divine, the next joke shows us that sometimes family drama isn’t what it appears to be.
The Holiday Season Break-up
The day before Christmas, a father in Brisbane calls his son in Sydney.
“Sorry to ruin your holiday,” the dad says, “but your mother and I are divorcing. I just can’t take it anymore.”
A man making a phone call | Source: Midjourney
Shocked, the son yells, “What? No, don’t do anything until I get there! I’m calling my sister.”
Moments later, the daughter phones her dad, furious. “You are NOT getting divorced! My brother and I will be there tomorrow. Don’t do a single thing!”
The father hangs up and turns to his wife.
A solemn man glancing to one side | Source: Midjourney
He grins widely and tells her, “Well, that’s our Christmas plans sorted. The kids are on their way and they’re paying for their own travel expenses!”
Let’s keep the laughs rolling with a little tale about early Christmas shopping. You know that feeling when you’re just a bit too eager to grab your gifts? Well, this next joke proves that timing is everything — even when it comes to snagging those holiday deals earlier than expected.
The Early Christmas Shopper
A man stands trial during the Christmas season. The judge asks the defendant, “Mr. Jones, what exactly are you accused of doing?”
A judge in a courtroom | Source: Midjourney
“Your honor, I was just doing my Christmas shopping early,” the man says innocently.
“There’s nothing illegal about that,” the judge replies. “What time did you start?”
“Before the store opened.”
A somber man | Source: Midjourney
Time for a trip to the airport, where holiday cheer meets travel stress in the best way possible. Even if you’re not a fan of mistletoe, this next joke might make you look twice before checking in your bags this Christmas season.
Airport Mistletoe Mishap
Dave wasn’t feeling the holiday spirit as he waited at the airport just before Christmas. He noticed some mistletoe hanging above the luggage scale.
Mistletoe at the airport | Source: Midjourney
Annoyed, he told the airline attendant, “Even if we were dating, I wouldn’t kiss you under such tacky mistletoe.”
The attendant smirked, “Sir, that mistletoe isn’t for you to kiss me. It’s there so you can kiss your luggage goodbye.”
Hold onto your Santa hats because this next joke features a kid with a very “creative” approach to getting his Christmas wishes granted.
Man talking to airline attendant at the luggage area | Source: Midjourney
When it comes to writing letters to Santa (or Jesus), this boy takes negotiation tactics to a whole new level.
The Kid’s Christmas Bargain
A little boy starts writing his Christmas letter to Santa, but his mom interrupts him.
“You’ve been so naughty this year,” she scolds. “You’d better write that letter to Jesus instead.”
A child sitting at a table | Source: Midjourney
He thinks for a moment, then begins writing to Jesus, but quickly realizes he can’t lie about being good. Frustrated, he goes for a walk to clear his mind and spots a nativity scene.
Suddenly, he snatches the statue of Mary.
Returning home, he starts his new letter: “Dear Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again…”
From a mischievous kid to a quick-witted teen, our next joke shows that sometimes biblical excuses can go hilariously wrong.
A Christmas nativity scene | Source: Pexels
It’s a classic case of trying to outsmart a parent — only to learn an unexpected lesson.
Long Hair, Don’t Care
After acing his exams and diligently studying the Bible, Danny asks his clergyman father if he can get a car for Christmas.
“You’ve done great with your studies,” his father says. “But I’m disappointed you haven’t cut your hair.”
A teen boy | Source: Midjourney
Danny smiles. “Dad, in the Bible, I noticed that Jesus, Moses, and Samson all had long hair.”
His father nods, “Yes, but did you also notice they walked everywhere?”
And now, let’s end on a high note with a husband who’s in for a surprise of his own while Christmas shopping.
A mall decorated for Christmas | Source: Pexels
Just when he thinks he’s found a sentimental moment, he gets a reality check guaranteed to leave you laughing out loud.
The Husband’s Christmas Misunderstanding
A couple is shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve when the husband realizes he’s lost his wife. Frantic, he calls her.
“Honey,” she says calmly, “do you remember the jewelry store where you saw that expensive watch you loved five years ago? The one I said I’d get you one day?”
A man speaking on his cell phone | Source: Midjourney
His eyes well up. “Yes, I remember.”
“Well,” she replies, “I’m in the lingerie store next to it.”
And there you have it — a sleigh of laughs to brighten your holiday season! Whether you share these jokes at a family dinner or use them to lighten the mood at a holiday party, they’re sure to spread some Christmas cheer.
People at a Christmas party | Source: Midjourney
After all, the best gifts are the ones that bring a smile. So go ahead, share the laughter, and enjoy a merry, jolly, joke-filled Christmas!
For many people, Christmas is a time for family, so keep the laughs coming with these jokes about family life.
Woman Sees the Face of the Santa She Hired and Realizes the Past She Feared Has Caught up with Her — Story of the Day
Lisa believed that a perfect Christmas was one spent with family. Lisa wished for her daughter to have the full, happy family she herself had never experienced. However, when the Santa she had hired revealed his face, she realized the importance of being careful what you wish for.
On Christmas Eve, the Marble family gathered in their cozy living room, the soft glow of twinkling lights from the Christmas tree casting warm patterns on the walls.
The aroma of roasted turkey, buttery mashed potatoes, and freshly baked bread filled the air.
Lisa moved gracefully between the kitchen and the table, her hands full of steaming dishes.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
She was the kind of hostess who made everything look effortless, her holiday apron dusted with a sprinkle of flour from the cookies she had baked earlier.
Meanwhile, Robert entertained their giggling daughter, Ashley, who clung to his shoulders like a tiny adventurer on a great expedition.
“Spread your arms like you’re an airplane, Ashley,” Robert instructed, his voice buzzing with enthusiasm as he mimicked the deep rumble of a plane engine.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
Ashley squealed with delight, her arms stretched wide as she wobbled slightly.
“I’m flying, Daddy!” she yelled, her voice ringing like a tiny bell.
“Careful, Captain! We’re hitting turbulence,” Robert joked, swaying exaggeratedly from side to side.
Lisa paused by the table, wiping her hands on a towel, and watched them with a soft smile.
“Time to land, dinner is ready,” she called out, her voice warm and teasing.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
Robert made a dramatic engine noise as he lowered Ashley to the floor.
“Boeing 747 coming in for landing, woo-woo-woo!”
Ashley laughed even harder, tugging on Robert’s sleeve.
“More! I want more!”
“Later, sweetheart,” Robert promised, kneeling to her eye level. “First, we need fuel. Pilots have to eat too.”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
As they sat down to dinner, Lisa glanced at her family. The clinking of silverware and Ashley’s happy chatter filled the room.
Her heart swelled as she realized, for the hundredth time, how lucky she was to have these moments, this family, and this life.
After dinner, Lisa carried the last of the plates to the kitchen, glancing at Robert as he leaned back in his chair, sipping coffee.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
Ashley was curled up on the carpet in front of the TV, her eyes glued to a cartoon with talking animals.
The cheerful jingle of the show filled the room, mixing with the faint hum of Christmas music from the radio.
Lisa caught Robert’s eye and gave him a small nod. He leaned forward slightly and whispered, “Is it time? Where is he?”
Lisa checked her watch and whispered back, “Maybe he’s running late. The weather’s not great, but he should be here any minute.”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
As if on cue, the doorbell rang, its cheerful chime making Ashley’s head snap toward the door.
Lisa wiped her hands on her apron and walked quickly to answer it. When she opened the door, a gust of cold air blew in, carrying with it a man dressed head to toe in a Santa costume.
“Ho-ho-ho!” he bellowed, stepping inside and brushing snow off his red coat. “Where’s the little girl for whom I’ve brought presents?”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“Santa! You came!” Ashley shouted, jumping up from the carpet and running to throw her arms around him.
Her giggles filled the room as Santa patted her back warmly.
He slung a large red bag off his shoulder, setting it beside the Christmas tree, and plopped down on the couch with a playful sigh.
“Let’s see what I’ve got for you in here! Did you write me a letter this year?”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“Yes!” Ashley said, her eyes sparkling. “Didn’t you read it?”
Santa chuckled, stroking his fake white beard.
“I did, but you know, there are so many children to bring presents to, and this old Santa sometimes forgets!”
Ashley tilted her head, her face serious. “I asked for a puppy!”
“A puppy?” Santa repeated, pretending to think deeply.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“Hmm, let me check.” He rummaged through his bag dramatically, pulling out a wrapped box.
“Oh! Found it!”
Ashley ripped the paper open eagerly, revealing a shiny robotic dog. Her excitement faded. “I wanted a real one!”
Santa leaned in, lowering his voice.
“A real puppy is a big responsibility. But if you take good care of this one, maybe next year you’ll get a real one. Ho-ho-ho!”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
Ashley smiled reluctantly, her little hands already exploring the toy’s buttons.
Lisa and Robert exchanged a quiet look and slipped out of the room, leaving their daughter to enjoy her magical moment with Santa.
“I told you we should’ve gotten her a real dog,” Robert muttered, crossing his arms as he leaned against the bedroom door.
His tone was laced with disappointment, and he glanced at Lisa with raised eyebrows.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
Lisa sighed, brushing her hair back and folding her arms.
“A dog is a big responsibility, Robert. Who’s going to walk it in the freezing cold? Who’s going to clean up after it? Train it? Feed it? Let me guess—me!” She gave him a pointed look, clearly irritated by the suggestion.
Robert didn’t back down.
“But it’s not just about the work, Lisa. A dog isn’t just a pet; it’s a family member. You don’t understand how much joy it could bring Ashley—and us! She’s been asking for one for months. Don’t you want to see her happy?”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
Lisa hesitated, frowning as she thought it over.
“Fine,” she said finally, throwing up her hands. “But don’t forget, if she gets bored of it, you’re taking care of it. Not me!”
“Deal!” Robert said with a triumphant grin, straightening up.
But their moment of debate was interrupted when Lisa froze, tilting her head. “It’s too quiet in there,” she whispered.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“I can’t hear them at all.”
Robert’s smile faded.
“Yeah,” he agreed, a trace of worry creeping into his voice. Without another word, they both hurried out of the room to check on Ashley.
Santa was no longer on the couch when Lisa and Robert rushed into the living room.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
Their eyes darted around the space, but it was eerily empty. Panic gripped Lisa as she grabbed Robert’s arm.
“Where’s Ashley?” she gasped, her voice trembling.
Robert’s eyes widened, and they both sprinted toward the front door. There, they saw the man in the Santa suit standing by the doorway, holding Ashley in his arms.
The little girl was bundled up in her coat, her scarf neatly wrapped around her neck.
“Stop!” Lisa shouted, her voice sharp and full of fear.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
Santa froze, turning to face them with wide eyes as Lisa and Robert dashed toward him.
Lisa grabbed Ashley, pulling her back protectively while Robert stepped in front of them.
“What were you planning to do?!” Robert growled, shoving the man against the wall. His voice was low and menacing. “Kidnap her?!”
“No! No! You’ve misunderstood,” the man stammered, raising his hands defensively. “I just wanted to play snowballs with her! That’s all, I swear!”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“That wasn’t part of the plan!” Lisa snapped, her hands gripping Ashley’s shoulders tightly. “You were supposed to deliver the gifts and leave!”
Ashley squirmed in Lisa’s grip, her voice breaking through the tension. “Mom, stop! He’s my grandpa!”
Lisa froze, staring at her daughter. “What are you talking about, sweetie?” she asked, her voice softer now but still tinged with confusion.
The man in the Santa suit sighed heavily and reached up, removing his fake white beard.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
Underneath was an older man’s face, worn with deep lines but softened by a sad smile.
“My name is Thomas Martins,” he said quietly. “I’m sure that name rings a bell…”
Lisa’s face went pale. She quickly gestured for Ashley to go to her room.
“Go on, honey,” she said, her voice firm but gentle.
Ashley hesitated, her brows furrowed, but eventually nodded and walked upstairs, glancing back before disappearing.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“What’s he talking about, Lisa?” Robert asked, his voice breaking the silence.
Lisa turned to him, her expression filled with a mix of anger and pain.
“This can’t be,” she muttered, shaking her head. Then, turning to Thomas, she shouted, “Get out of here! I don’t want to see you in my house!”
Thomas held his hands up again, his eyes pleading. “I didn’t come to take your daughter, Lisa,” he said earnestly.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“I just wanted to see her, to spend time with her. She’s my granddaughter, and I’ve never seen her in my entire life.”
Robert turned to Lisa, his confusion growing. “What’s he talking about, Lisa?”
Lisa’s shoulders slumped, and she closed her eyes for a moment before speaking. “He’s telling the truth,” she said softly.
“He’s Ashley’s real grandfather.”
“What?!” Robert exclaimed, his voice rising.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“What does this mean?!”
Lisa took a deep breath. “He’s my father,” she admitted. “The one who abandoned me when I was little…”
Robert’s eyes narrowed as he turned back to Thomas. “It’s him?! Why did you come here?!”
Thomas’s shoulders sagged as he spoke.
“I just wanted to see my granddaughter, nothing more. I know you’ll never forgive me for what I did—I can’t forgive myself either—but I only wanted to be her grandfather for this one evening.”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
Robert clenched his fists, stepping closer.
“That’s enough,” he growled, beginning to push Thomas toward the door.
“Wait, Robert,” Lisa said, her voice stopping him. She stepped forward, her expression softening.
“It’s Christmas. This is a day when families should be together.”
She turned to Thomas, motioning for him to come closer. “Maybe I’m not ready to forgive you for not being in my life,” she said carefully.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“But I don’t want to deny my daughter the chance to know her grandfather. Please, don’t make me regret this decision.”
Tears filled Thomas’s eyes as he nodded.
“Thank you, sweetheart,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. He reached out and hugged Lisa gently, his shoulders shaking as he wept.
For Thomas, this was more than he had dared to hope for.
And for Lisa, that Christmas brought something unexpected—a new chance to heal and grow as a family.
Tell us what you think about this story, and share it with your friends. It might inspire them and brighten their day.
If you enjoyed this story, read this one: It felt like Chelsea’s boyfriend had changed since they started dating. He used to be romantic and gentle and even wrote her letters. But now, he didn’t show up and left her alone at his friend’s birthday. However, after Chelsea found a letter in his friend’s coat, she realized the hard truth. Read the full story here.
This piece is inspired by stories from the everyday lives of our readers and written by a professional writer. Any resemblance to actual names or locations is purely coincidental. All images are for illustration purposes only. Share your story with us; maybe it will change someone’s life.
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