Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue actually wrote the marital handbook.
The long-married couple’s book, What Makes a Marriage Last: Insider Stories, contains personal facts about their marriage. Forty Well-Known Couples Share Their Secrets with Us.
The most fascinating revelation made by Marlo is that, even though she and Phil have been married for over 40 years, she never really wanted to get married.
The famous person expressed in the book her previously negative opinion of the institution, saying that marriage is like a vacuum cleaner that sucks away all of your ambition and vitality when you stick it to your ear.
Thomas frequently shares her opinions, likening marriage to having to placate a prisoner. That is, until she met Donahue.
Phil Donahue and Marlo Thomas met following the dissolution of their first marriage, and they have remained lifelong friends ever since.
The Phil Donahue Show, which was eventually renamed as simply “Donahue,” was the vehicle through which Phil Donahue first gained popular recognition. For the first time, audience members participated in the program, which ran for 29 years. One of the visitors on his show who radically changed his life’s trajectory was Marlo Thomas.
The book claims that the two met in 1977 in Chicago, when Phil was bringing four children with him. His fifth child, a daughter, lived somewhere else with her mother and ex-wife.
Marlo and Phil dated for three years before being married in 1980 in front of a small wedding party of thirty-five guests.
Not surprise, Marlo’s friends and family were taken aback by the actress’s sudden change of heart. A hilarious story of Marlo’s bridal shower, where visitors hung notes from the soon-to-be bride that disclosed her past views on marriage, is featured in the couple’s book.
The book claims that Marlo’s mother was the most shocked of all, asking Donahue, “How did you get her to do this?” throughout the nuptials of the pair.
Reportedly, among other emotions, even total strangers voiced shock at the well-known social activist’s decision to get married. While Phil was in the lavatory, a passenger on the airplane the couple took to Greece for their honeymoon expressed displeasure to Marlo, presumably disappointed that she had given up her old independent streak.
In the book, Thomas is honest enough to acknowledge that something was unclear when they spoke. After all her life condemning marriage, was she suddenly a hypocrite for getting married? Had she let those down who held her in high regard as the embodiment of self-reliance?
Even though Donahue and Thomas discuss the usual ups and downs of their long marriage in the book, they manage to make their marriage work to this day. They describe these problems as teaching moments that deepened their relationship.
The couple had been apart from the beginning of their marriage, with Phil traveling to Chicago to tape his show and Marlo traveling to pursue her acting career.
Thomas had a greater understanding of how different individuals define marriage when his aunt said that the couple’s union was void because they weren’t living together exclusively. In spite of their separation, Thomas and Donahue were able to keep their marriage together. Significantly, Marlo’s marriage resulted in her having children.
In a 2012 interview with AARP, Thomas reflected on her experience helping Phil raise his kids, stating she went into it knowing that they already had a traditional mother and that would not be her role.
Rather, Marlo claims that she began to treat Phil’s children more like friends in an effort to mimic the parenting style of her own mother. She continues by saying that she feels more connected to them today than she did at the start of their marriage.
Donahue points out that Thomas really did strive to understand the lads in the book and spent as much time as she could getting to know his sons.
Phil and Marlo believe that their long marriage is a result of her strong bond with his kids and their mutual faith in each other. “You build trust when you realize that this person always has your back,” says Marlo in clarification.
Despite being married for more than 40 years, they still have more memories to make.
Phil goes on to argue that a marriage has to be desired by both parties in order for it to last. Marlo says she would never want to be anything other than married to her lover, echoing his sentiments. She claims that Donahue has assisted her “in every manner possible.”
When two people truly commit to one another, marriage is an incredibly lovely union that is made much more beautiful.
These two have a lot to teach and inspire us all. As satisfying as their relationship is, we should all strive to be in one!
Minutes Before My Wedding, I Learned the Truth—So I Ran
Minutes before I walked down the aisle to marry the man I thought I’d spend my life with, my world crumbled. A truth so devastating unraveled that I couldn’t face him or our guests. So, I fled. Mascara streaking my face, I ran in my wedding dress down the highway.
We’ve all heard stories about runaway brides, but I never thought I’d become one.
There I was, ditching my own wedding. Tears streamed down my face. I couldn’t go through with it because minutes before the ceremony, I discovered something about Grant that turned my world upside down.
An upset bride | Source: Midjourney
I’ve always believed life has a way of falling into place when the timing is right.
By thirty, I had everything I ever wanted. A good job in marketing, a beautiful home, and the love of my life, Grant, by my side.
We’d been together for as long as I could remember. We met in high school when I was sixteen, and from that moment, we were inseparable.
A couple holding hands | Source: Pexels
Grant was everything I’d ever dreamed of in a partner. He was perfect, and he had this way of making me feel like the most important person in the world. After all, that’s what all of us want to feel like, right?
“I’ll always be by your side, Sadie,” he once told me during a quiet evening at the beach.
“And I’ll always be by yours,” I replied, squeezing his hand. “No matter what.”
We talked about our future often. We wanted to get married, start a family, and grow old together.
A couple sitting together | Source: Pexels
“You’re my forever,” he whispered one night, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
Those words stayed with me. Even through the ups and downs of life, I believed we’d make it through anything.
So, when he proposed three years ago, I was the happiest woman alive.
It was a perfect day. Grant took me to our favorite spot by the lake, got down on one knee, and asked me to marry him.
“Yes!” I cried, barely letting him finish his question.
A man holding a woman’s hand | Source: Pexels
We celebrated that night with friends and family, and I couldn’t stop smiling. This was it. My life was finally falling into place.
The next three years flew by in a blur of wedding planning and work. Grant was busy with his job, and I threw myself into making sure our wedding day would be perfect.
To be honest, it was. Until it wasn’t.
I couldn’t have imagined how quickly things would take a turn for the worse.
A woman on her big day | Source: Midjourney
Fast forward to our wedding day.
The church was beautifully decorated with white roses and delicate fairy lights, just as I’d envisioned. Meanwhile, I felt like a princess in my stunning lace gown.
I stood at the back of the church, clutching my bouquet, as my heart raced with anticipation. This was the moment I had been waiting for. Walking down the aisle to the man I loved.
But before I could take a single step, my heart shattered into a million pieces.
A close-up shot of wedding aisle decor | Source: Pexels
“Sadie,” my best friend, Lila, called out. Her face was pale, and her hands shook as she clutched her phone. “I need to talk to you.”
I frowned. “Lila, now? We’re about to start.”
She shook her head fiercely. “No, you need to see this right now.”
I set my bouquet down, confusion turning to dread as I took her phone. The screen showed a Reddit thread.
“Read the post,” Lila urged, her voice trembling. “I found it by accident. It just… popped up.”
A woman using a phone | Source: Pexels
My heart skipped a beat as I scrolled.
The post was titled, When your fiancé celebrates with someone who’s not the bride.
And then my gaze landed on a photo of Grant.
It was taken at his bachelor party two nights before. In the picture, he sat with a woman on his lap. They were kissing.
I stared at the screen, the image burning into my mind.
I could barely process the caption beneath the photo, “Guess she’s not the one walking down the aisle this weekend.”
A bride looking at her friend’s phone | Source: Midjourney
“This can’t be real,” I whispered, shaking my head in disbelief.
“Sadie…” Lila placed a hand on my arm, steadying me. “It is. I double-checked. That’s him. That’s Grant.”
I dropped onto the nearest chair, my legs too weak to hold me.
Grant? The man I’d loved for years? My Grant?
I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t digest that a photo of my fiancé kissing another woman was circulating online, being dissected by strangers.
“I can’t do this,” I whispered.
An upset bride on her wedding day | Source: Midjourney
That’s when Lila knelt beside me.
“Sadie, you don’t have to,” she said. “You don’t owe him anything. But you need to decide now.”
I looked at her through tears. “What am I supposed to do? There are 150 people waiting for me out there.”
“Forget them,” she said firmly. “This is about you. What do you want to do?”
I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. Every instinct told me to confront Grant, demand answers. But how? In front of everyone?
No. I couldn’t do it. Not like this.
An upset bride thinking about her life | Source: Midjourney
“I’m leaving,” I said while grabbing my things. “I’m done.”
Lila stood, nodding. “I’ll cover for you as long as I can.”
Without looking back, I left the bridal suite. I didn’t know where I was going, but I just kept walking, past the church, past the guests waiting inside.
Cars sped by, honking occasionally at the sight of a bride walking along the highway. My dress dragged through the dirt, and mascara streaked down my face. I must have looked like something out of a sad country song.
Then, a pickup truck pulled over.
A pickup truck | Source: Pexels
I wiped my eyes and glanced up, surprised to see a man leaning out the window.
“Sadie?” he called, his voice unsure. “Is that you?”
I looked at him and immediately recognized him from photos. It was Ethan. Grant’s older brother.
He’d never come to visit while I was with Grant, but I knew who he was. The black sheep of the family, they called him.
“What happened?” Ethan asked, his brows knitting in concern. “Why are you out here like this? Get in. I’ll drive you wherever you need to go.”
A man sitting in his car | Source: Midjourney
I shook my head. “Only if you promise to drive me away.”
His lips twitched into a small smile. “Deal.”
I nodded and climbed into the truck.
As we drove, I finally let it all out. The betrayal, the photo, and the humiliation.
Ethan listened quietly, handing me tissues as I sobbed. “What a jerk,” he muttered at one point, making me laugh through my tears.
It felt good to talk.
But just as I started to relax, Ethan slammed on the brakes.
A man holding a steering wheel | Source: Pexels
“What are you doing, Ethan?” I yelped, my heart racing.
Ethan looked at me, guilt etched across his face. “Sadie, I’m sorry. I have to.”
Before I could ask what he meant, he turned the truck around. We were heading straight back to the wedding.
“I can’t go back there,” I said, my voice cracking. “They’re all going to see me like this and I don’t want that! They’ll think I ran away because—”
“You have nothing to be ashamed of,” Ethan cut me off. “The person who should be humiliated is Grant. Not you. You’ll expose him. Tell everyone what he really is.”
A serious man driving a car | Source: Midjourney
I wanted to argue, to insist he drop me off anywhere but there. But deep down, I knew Ethan was right. The truth had to come out.
“You’ll be there with me?” I whispered.
He nodded. “Every step of the way.”
When we pulled into the church parking lot, the guests were already trickling out. The ceremony had clearly been canceled, but some family members lingered near the entrance, including Grant.
A groom standing in a parking lot | Source: Midjourney
My heart pounded as I climbed out of the truck. Lila spotted me first and rushed over.
“Sadie!” she cried, relief flooding her face. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I nodded. “I need to do this.”
Grant’s eyes locked on me as I walked toward him with Ethan by my side. His expression shifted from confusion to anger the moment he saw Ethan.
“Where the heck have you been?” Grant snapped. “What’s he doing here?”
I ignored his questions.
A bride standing in a parking lot | Source: Midjourney
Then, I pulled out my phone, opened the post Lila had shown me, and held it up for everyone to see.
“This is why I left,” I announced. “Grant was with another woman two nights ago at his bachelor party.”
Gasps rippled through the small crowd as they looked at the photo.
“That’s not what it looks like!” Grant argued. “It’s taken out of context!”
“Out of context?” I shot back. “How do you explain kissing another woman while celebrating your bachelor party?!”
A bride looking straight ahead | Source: Midjourney
Grant opened his mouth to speak, but Ethan stepped in front of me, cutting him off.
“Don’t,” Ethan said firmly. “You’ve done enough.”
Grant’s face contorted with fury. “Stay out of this, Ethan! This has nothing to do with you!”
“That doesn’t mean you can get away with this, Grant!” Ethan yelled. “You can’t cheat on Sadie like that!”
At that point, Grant lunged forward and pushed Ethan, but thankfully, Grant’s friends held him back. Their father also came forward and helped Ethan get up.
That day marked the end of my relationship with Grant. I never spoke to him again.
A woman standing near a window | Source: Pexels
But Ethan? We stayed in touch.
Over the following weeks, I learned about his struggles. A failing family farm and a mountain of debt that Grant had refused to help him with.
Ethan was planning to sell his pickup truck, his last possession of value, to stay afloat.
That’s when I had an idea.
I took the money I’d saved for my honeymoon and offered to help Ethan turn his farm into a farm-to-table subscription box business.
It was a risk, but it paid off.
A green field near a house | Source: Pexels
A year later, Ethan invited me back to the farm. The fields were thriving, the business was booming, and for the first time in a long while, I felt like I was exactly where I was meant to be.
And standing there, side by side with Ethan, I realized I’d gained something far better than a husband. I’d found a loyal partner and the best friend I never knew I needed.
I’m so grateful to Lila for showing me that Reddit post. Otherwise, I would’ve married Grant without knowing what kind of a person he truly was.
If you enjoyed reading this story, here’s another one you might like: When Emma proposes a daily “8 p.m. rule” to her fiancé, Matt, she expects it to bring them closer. But Matt’s reaction is far from what she’s imagined. Shocked by the idea, he abruptly calls off the wedding, leaving Emma questioning everything she thought she knew about love and commitment.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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