Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
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АТ 53, KЕLLY RIРА’S ВLАСK GОWN ОN ОSСАRS RЕD САRРЕТ IGNIТЕS RЕАСТIОNS FRОM FАNS
It was a predictably eventful evening in LA this past Sunday at the 96th Academy Awards, hosted at the Dolby Theater.
Among the stand-out moments were John Cena’s naked walk across the stage to present the award for Best Costume Design and Al Pacino’s decision to skip over the nominations for Best Film altogether, instead going straight to announcing the winner.
There were also plenty of talking points to be gleaned from the red carpet, not least relating to the plethora of eye-catching outfits on show. As per reports, actress Kelly Ripa and husband Mark Consuelos were among those to steal the show, with the former causing a particular stir on social media.
Celebrities dominating headlines for their choice of garment for any particular awards ceremony is nothing new.
Yet in the age of social media, where live photos from the red carpet can be shаrеd around the world at the click of a button, it’s become arguably more popular than ever to discuss and debate outfits in real time.
As such, it’s only natural to expect that an event of the magnitude of the Oscars, and those fortunate enough to be in attendance, is always going to be heavily scrutinized.
Among those who found their fashion choices dissected online this year was Kelly Ripa, who uploaded her outfit – a dazzling black, see-through gown – to Instagram along with the caption: “Mom and dad storming the red carpet.”
There, it was met with a wave of appreciation from her legion of fans.
“You both look amazing. BUT that dress is stunning ,” one person wrote.
“Beautiful gown. Beautiful couple,” another added.
“Kelly, your hair, the dress… you look gorgeous,” a third said.
Of course, it wasn’t all compliments. There were those who questioned Ripa’s decision to don the dress.
“I love you Kelly but not this dress,” one detractor wrote.
Another added: “Unlikе Mark not to have a perfectly tailored suit or tux on. His clothes are usually impeccable.“
A third wrote: “Kelly wear some bike shorts. You are lowering your self in the see through dress. You’re better than that!“
“She doesn’t even look likе the same person anymore ” a fourth opined.
I don’t know about you, but I think Kelly and Mark looked fantastic at the Oscars! Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
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