Marriage has its ups and downs, but there’s always space for laughter. The daily moments between husbands and wives can be heartwarming and funny, as shown in these jokes.
From surprising notes to clever replies, these seven jokes showcase the playful side of marriage. Whether you’re married or just enjoy a good laugh, these stories will make you nod in agreement and chuckle at their unexpected turns.
1 The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there can be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels unappreciated. This joke takes that idea to the extreme when a wife tries to teach her husband a lesson with a note, only to be shocked by his reaction.
A woman, upset that her husband was late coming home again, left a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you. Don’t bother looking for me.” She then hid under the bed to see how he would react.
After a short time, the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen and saw him go to the dresser to pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it and called someone.
“She’s finally gone… Yes, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the fun things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. When she came out from under the bed, furious and in tears, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”
2 The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, simple misunderstandings can blow up, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously shows how quickly a situation can escalate when assumptions are made, only for the truth to make everyone laugh.
When a husband came home, he found his wife crying. She said, “The pharmacist insulted me on the phone this morning!”
Angry, the husband drove to the pharmacy to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. But before he could speak, the pharmacist said, “Wait, let me explain. This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late.”
“I skipped breakfast and rushed to the car, only to realize I locked my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then I drove too fast and got a speeding ticket. While driving to work, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened the pharmacy, there was already a line. And the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”
He added, “I had to break a roll of coins to make change, but they spilled everywhere. When I stood up, I hit my head on the cash drawer, and all the perfume bottles fell and broke. Then the phone rang, and it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and all I did was tell her.”
3 The Family Secret
Family secrets can be surprising and funny. In this joke, a young man is excited about his upcoming marriage until his father reveals some shocking news, leading to a hilarious twist.
One Sunday morning, George rushed into the living room and shouted, “Dad! Mom! I have great news! I’m marrying the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”
Later, George’s dad pulled him aside and said, “Son, we need to talk. Look at your mom. We’ve been married for 30 years. She’s a great wife and mom, but she’s not very exciting. I used to cheat on her, and Susan is your half-sister, so you can’t marry her.”
George was heartbroken. After eight months, he started dating again. A year later, he proudly said, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again, his father pulled him aside to share more bad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m sorry.”
George was furious! He went to his mother with what his father said. “Dad is ruining my life. I guess I’ll never get married. Every time I like a girl, Dad says she’s my half-sister.”
His mother laughed and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s not really your father.”
4 The Fried Eggs Incident
Everyday tasks like cooking breakfast can lead to funny arguments between spouses. This joke turns a simple breakfast into a humorous look at how we all sometimes feel the need to give advice, especially when the roles are reversed.
A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast when her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful!” he said. “Put in more butter! You’re cooking too many at once! Turn them! We need more butter! Oh no, they’re going to stick! Be careful! You never listen to me when you cook! Hurry! Don’t forget to salt them!”
The wife stared at him. “What’s wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “Sure you do. I just wanted to show you how it feels when I’m driving.”
5 The Supermarket Strategy
Shopping in a busy supermarket can be stressful, especially if you lose track of your spouse. This joke shows how resourceful one husband can be when looking for his wife, with a touch of humor.
In a supermarket, Ivan lost sight of his wife. He approached a young lady and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” asked the lady, confused by Ivan’s request.
“It’s always the same. As soon as I start talking to a pretty woman, my wife pops up out of nowhere.”
The Flu Revelation
Being stuck at home with the flu is never fun, but this joke shows how a man’s sickness revealed his wife’s true feelings in a surprising and funny way. Sometimes love can be found in unexpected situations.
A man visited a friend who had been sick with the flu for weeks.
“How was it?” the man asked.
“Surprisingly wonderful,” the friend replied.
“How so?” the man asked.
“Well, I found out how much my wife loves me and how happy she is to have me home.”
“How do you know?”
“Every time the postman, the milkman, or the trash collector comes by, she runs out shouting, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
The Late-Night Approach
Sometimes sneaking in late after a night out doesn’t go as planned. In this joke, two husbands compare how they deal with their wives when they come home late, revealing that a more direct approach can be the best way.
Two married friends were out drinking when one said, “I don’t know what to do. When I come home after drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I coast into the garage, take off my shoes before entering the house, sneak upstairs, change in the bathroom, and slip into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”
His friend replied, “You’re doing it wrong. I drive into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, flush the toilet loudly, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, and jump into bed saying, ‘Do you want to make love?’ And every time, she acts like she’s sound asleep!”
Meet Nyakim Gatwec, A Model That Was Dubbed ‘Queen Of The Dark’
The woman was shocked when her Uber driver uninvitedly offered advise on how to take care of her beautiful skin.
The “Queen of the Dark,” as the fashion diva was affectionately called, laughed off his comments and embraced her breathtaking beauty.
Continue reading to find out what this Uber driver said her and how she utilized it as a teaching moment!
Nyakim Gatwech, who spent her early years in refugee camps in Ethiopia and Kenya, thought that living in America would “be like heaven.”
But when Gatwech moved to Buffalo at the age of 14, she stayed by herself a lot, crying over comments made about her very dark skin tone.
“You don’t wash your hair. Because of this, your skin is filthy.Or, “Nyakim, smile so we can see you. You are invisible to us. You have dirty skin as a result. Or grin for us to see you, Nyakim. We cannot see you.
In class, for example, the instructor might ask a question and say, “Oh, Nyakim, can you answer that?””How about a toddler asking, “Who are you talking to?”? We cannot see her. She’s not here. The now 31-year-old woman says, “I would just cry, and the whole class would start laughing,” as reported by Cosmopolitan.
The innocent young girl just wanted to fit in, but it was difficult when random people were speculating about whether or not she was indeed that dark-skinned and whether or not she was wearing leggings.
I did think about [bleaching my skin] at one time. I was 14 years old when I fled an African refugee camp and moved to Buffalo, New York. The beauty admits, “After being teased [about my skin], I would cry myself to sleep.””So many stunning Sudanese women with dark skin tones bleach their skin.”
The model continued by saying that her own sister was one of the Sudanese ladies who had bleached her skin.”It was my own sister.” However, after a few months of living in America, I told her that I wanted to, and she said no. I will not allow my kid, you, or anyone else to do it.
Dark Queen
The woman, who has encountered prejudice from makeup artists, designers, and other models, is now referred to as the Queen of the Dark and feels strong since she has triumphed over the criticism.
Additionally, Gatwech’s 962,000 dedicated Instagram fans encourage her self-assurance and amazing fondness for her deep chocolate skin tone.
“My chocolate is sophisticated. Thus, I stand for this. A country of fighters,” she writes in one of her posts.
And the incredibly beautiful woman’s admirers can’t get enough of her.
One fan writes, “Omgggggg I love your skin and melanin,” while another exclaims, “I love your beautiful skin tone so much!” God creates exquisite things like you to serve as a constant reminder of His majesty.
In response to the tremendous outpouring of love, Gatwech adds, “I learned to love myself.I’m not troubled by the negative anymore. I love and embrace my skin, and I no longer feel insecure about it. I no longer believe I’m ugly. I am confident in who I am.
“The silliest queries”
Speaking about her odd skin, Gatwech recounts about meeting an Uber driver a few years ago who asked if she would ever consider whitening it.
“Oh, you’re dark,” he remarked.Gatwech describes her chat with the driver to Cosmopolitan.”I merely chuckled. I was curious as to why he felt that I ought to. He said that because it would make my life simpler. If I were lighter, I could get into a relationship more easily and guys would be more drawn to me. I’m lighter, so if I went to a job interview, I would receive the opportunity. I just responded, “I’d rather take the [hard] road, even if] being lighter would make my life easier.”
The woman goes on, “I’m used to people asking the stupidest questions ever [about my skin].”
Gatwech then shared the story on Instagram along with a stunning picture of herself with three other stunning dark-skinned Sudanese women.
“A country with people so dark you won’t believe your eyes,” the author writes. Teeth so brilliant, skin so rich. Oh, how I cherish my nation, my people, and all that it entails.
“[SIC] I was asking my Uber driver the other day, and he said, don’t take this personally, but would you bleach your skin for ten thousand dollars?” she says, going on to describe her interaction with the driver. I couldn’t even respond because I was laughing so much.He then responded, “So that’s a no,” to which I replied, “Hell to the f*king yeah, that’s a no, why would I ever bleach this gorgeous melanin that God bless with me?””So you see it as a blessing,” he continued.
Her backers applauded Gatwech right away and raced to her defense.
“I suppose he missed the memo.”Black is gorgeous,” an admirer writes.
Another person says, “I cherish you for cherishing me.”A third wonders, “Why would we ever want to mess up something so beautiful?”
Asking Yahoo Beauty for guidance, she said, “You are beautiful, you are unique, and there are people who love you just the way you are” to young black girls suffering comparable struggles. It’s said that the juice of a cherry is sweeter the darker it is. Accept your gloom!
If you think that your family and friends will benefit from this tale, please SHARE it with them and leave a comment to let us know!
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