Narcissism is a phenomenon in which a person with low self-esteem is afraid of losing authority in the eyes of others, and they begin to manipulate their friends, colleagues, and family to appear better than they really are. These people are so determined. We decided to imagine what it’s like to have your beloved mother like this.
They have a distorted perception of love and achievement, making it nearly impossible for them to make you feel good enough.
Their self-worth hinges on external validation and a facade of perfection. This creates a moving target for your worth in their eyes. You can achieve great things, but their praise might be laced with criticism, or they might simply shift the goalposts to a new, unattainable standard. This leaves you perpetually striving for an unachievable level of approval.
Additionally, their happiness is often transactional. They dole out affection when it suits them, leaving you confused about what truly earns their love. This inconsistency fosters insecurity and self-doubt, making you question your own value no matter what you accomplish. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s inability to offer genuine, unconditional love creates a core belief that you’ll never be good enough, regardless of your efforts.
Narcissistic mothers won’t let their kids’ successes overshadow their own.
Narcissistic mothers crave attention and view their children’s achievements through a distorted lens. While they might brag about their child’s successes superficially, they can’t handle being outshined. This stems from a deep insecurity and a fragile sense of self. Their child’s triumphs become a threat, rather than a source of pride. They may downplay the accomplishment, subtly criticize, or even try to one-up their child with their own past glories, all to maintain a sense of superiority.
She’s only worried about her own problems.
A narcissistic mother’s world often revolves around herself, leaving little room for her child’s emotions or experiences. Their own needs for validation and admiration take priority. They struggle to empathize with their child’s struggles, viewing them as inconveniences or attention-grabbing tactics. This is because the narcissist lacks the emotional maturity to see their child as a separate being with valid feelings. Their child’s problems become burdens to be managed, rather than opportunities for connection and support.
These mothers humiliate their children.
There are a couple of reasons why narcissistic mothers might resort to humiliating their children. One is to maintain control. By publicly criticizing, mocking, or exaggerating their child’s flaws, the mother keeps them feeling insecure and dependent. This fragile self-esteem makes the child less likely to challenge the mother’s authority or seek independence.
Another reason is to bolster the narcissist’s own fragile ego. Putting their child down creates a clear hierarchy where the mother is always superior. This can be especially pronounced if the child shows any potential to outshine the mother, triggering a need to cut them down to size. Ultimately, the humiliation serves the narcissist’s own needs for power and self-importance, leaving the child feeling emotionally bruised and diminished.
She makes kids feel guilty for getting something.
Narcissistic mothers often induce guilt in their children for receiving gifts or achieving success because it reinforces their own sense of control. They might make comments like, «You don’t deserve this, there are others who need it more,» implying the child is selfish for wanting something good. This guilt trip serves a few purposes.
Firstly, it keeps the child feeling indebted and obligated to please the mother. Secondly, it deflects attention away from the mother’s inability to be genuinely happy for her child’s good fortune. Ultimately, by making their child feel guilty, the narcissistic mother manipulates the situation to maintain the focus on themselves and their emotional needs.
She thinks she always deserves the best.
A narcissistic mother’s belief in her own deservingness stems from a distorted sense of self-importance. Deep down, she craves admiration and validation, and views herself as superior to others. This inflated ego convinces her that she deserves the best in life, regardless of her actions or contributions. It’s a constant need to be seen as special and entitled.
This sense of entitlement can manifest in various ways, from expecting lavish gifts and unwavering support to feeling justified in cutting in line or bending the rules. For a narcissistic mother, the «best» isn’t just about material possessions, but also about the constant flow of attention, praise, and control that reinforces her grandiosity.
Her love is unstable. When she needs something, she’s kind. When she doesn’t, she’s rude.
Narcissistic mothers often exhibit a transactional kind of love, where affection is dangled like a carrot. When their needs are unmet, their self-absorption takes center stage. They might become critical, dismissive, or even cold towards their child. Conversely, when they require something — maybe errands run, emotional support, or a public image boost — the kindness faucet turns on.
This emotional inconsistency leaves the child confused and insecure. They never quite know what version of their mother they’ll encounter, creating a constant state of walking on eggshells to avoid the unpredictable shift from loving to cold.
She cares too much about how other people see her.
A narcissistic mother craves external validation and uses how others perceive her as a mirror for her fragile self-esteem. Her self-worth hinges on admiration and a cultivated image of perfection. This makes her hyper-aware of how others view her, particularly in her role as a mother. She might brag excessively about her child’s accomplishments, not necessarily out of pride, but to reflect well on her own parenting skills.
Conversely, any perceived shortcomings in her child become a threat to her image. She might downplay their achievements or even criticize them publicly to maintain a facade of control and superiority in the eyes of others. Ultimately, the well-being and genuine connection with her child become secondary to managing the public perception of a perfect mother and family.
She complains about people that do something against her will.
Narcissistic mothers view any challenge to their control as a personal attack. Their rigid sense of self-importance dictates that things should go their way. When someone, especially their child, dares to act independently or disagree, it triggers a deep sense of entitlement being violated. They may lash out by complaining excessively, playing the victim, or attempting to manipulate the situation back to their desired outcome.
These complaints serve a dual purpose: firstly, to punish the person for disobeying, and secondly, to garner sympathy or support from others, further reinforcing their position of authority. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s complaints about those who defy her are less about the specific action and more about maintaining a power dynamic where she remains in control.
Narcissistic mothers are jealous of their daughters’ beauty. And they pretend to be caring.
A narcissistic mother’s insecurity can turn a daughter’s blossoming beauty into a source of hidden jealousy. They may outwardly offer compliments laced with backhanded remarks, like «You look pretty, but maybe try a different shade of lipstick.» This thinly veiled criticism undermines the daughter’s confidence while maintaining a facade of caring.
Deeper down, the mother might feel threatened by her daughter’s youthful beauty, a stark reminder of her own fading youth and potential loss of attention. This jealousy can manifest in various ways, from sabotaging the daughter’s attempts to dress up for an event to subtly comparing her looks to others. The narcissistic mother’s mask of concern hides a desire to control the narrative, ensuring her daughter’s beauty doesn’t overshadow her own.
She criticizes a lot but almost never gives praise.
Narcissistic mothers often fall into a harsh critic pattern for a few reasons. Firstly, their self-worth is fueled by a need for control and a sense of superiority. Constant criticism keeps their child feeling insecure and dependent, less likely to challenge their authority. Secondly, genuine praise can feel threatening to a narcissist. If their child is successful or confident, it might overshadow the mother’s own perceived importance.
Instead of celebrating their child’s achievements, they might downplay them or even resort to nitpicking flaws. Ultimately, the lack of praise becomes a tool for manipulation. By withholding validation, the narcissistic mother keeps her child striving for approval, a dynamic that reinforces her own sense of power and control.
They’re angry if someone else is in the spotlight.
A narcissistic mother thrives on being the center of attention. Their fragile self-esteem craves constant validation and admiration. When someone else, especially their child, receives praise or recognition, it’s perceived as a direct threat. This triggers a surge of anger because it disrupts their carefully curated image of superiority. They might downplay the other person’s accomplishment, subtly criticize them, or even try to steal the spotlight back to themselves with tales of their own past glories.
This anger isn’t about protecting their child, but about protecting their own inflated sense of self-importance. They can’t bear to share the spotlight, and their reaction reflects a deep-seated insecurity that can leave their child feeling confused and emotionally neglected.
Narcissistic mothers might constantly remind you of the things they’ve done for you.
One is to create a sense of obligation and guilt. By replaying a litany of sacrifices and favors, they make you feel indebted, making it harder to disagree with them or assert your independence. It’s a way to control you through emotional manipulation. Another reason is to inflate their own sense of importance.
Recounting their «good deeds» reinforces their narrative as the selfless caregiver deserving of constant praise and gratitude. Ultimately, these constant reminders are about them, not you. It’s a tactic to maintain power within the relationship and ensure you remain focused on their needs rather than developing your own sense of self.
These narcissistic traits can take a toll. But there’s good news! Our next piece dives into how these experiences shape you, and what you heal from it.
I Found a Strange Ornament on Our Christmas Tree – Then My FIL Smirked, ‘Now You Know the Truth’
When Eden decided to surprise her husband by decorating the Christmas tree, she uncovered a mysterious heart-shaped ornament bearing a strange detail. Her father-in-law’s sly grin deepened the chill as he uttered: “Now you know the truth, don’t you?”
It started earlier that evening. My husband Liam was working late and he had hung a few ornaments on the tree before darting out the door, promising to finish later.
“Just the usual holiday chaos with my friends,” he’d mumbled with a quick kiss on my forehead, leaving me surrounded with boxes of glittering decorations.
A man walking away | Source: Midjourney
I decided to surprise him by finishing the tree myself. As I pulled out each ornament, memories spilled out like water from a cracked vase.
The star Liam and I bought the first year we were married. The garland I’d convinced him was perfect even though he teased that it looked like tinsel vomit. Just as I was about to hang the garland, I found something strange on our tree.
A small, shiny, heart-shaped ornament. Glittering symbols shimmered in the soft glow of the fairy lights. But what froze me were the initials scrawled across the front in a delicate flourish: L+N.
My stomach dropped.
I knew every ornament we owned. But this wasn’t one of them.
A heart-shaped ornament hung on a Christmas tree | Source: Midjourney
“If ‘L’ stands for Liam… what does ‘N’ stand for?” I whispered, my fingers tightening around the ornament. My mind raced, piecing together every late-night phone call and every text Liam had hidden under a casual tilt of his screen.
The sound of footsteps made me turn. My father-in-law, Richard, lingered in the doorway, his eyes sharp and amused. He’d been staying with us for weeks. He’s a bit… complicated and had grown increasingly smug and aloof lately.
His gaze flickered to the ornament, and his mouth curled into a smirk. “Ah,” he said, stepping closer. “So you’ve found it at last.”
“Found what?” My voice cracked, though I tried to keep it steady.
A shocked woman | Source: Midjourney
Richard crossed his arms, leaning against the wall. “Now you know the truth, don’t you?”
“What truth?”
He chuckled softly, his eyes glinting. “Let’s just say she wanted you to see it. In your house. Where you live.”
“She?” My heart hammered.
He didn’t answer immediately, savoring the tension. “Ask Liam,” he said, shrugging. “Or don’t. Sometimes it’s better to walk away before you dig too deep.”
A senior man looking at someone | Source: Midjourney
My breath hitched. “Who IS she?”
He just gave me this smug grin and said, “Ah, c’mon, Eden. Don’t act dumb. SHE wanted it here. In this house. Where YOU live.”
“Who? Be clear.”
“NANCY!” he said with deliberate ease.
“Nancy?” I repeated, my voice a fragile whisper. “I need to know everything. Right now.”
A stunned woman | Source: Midjourney
“Some secrets are like poison, sweetheart. Once you taste them, they change everything.”
“Stop talking in riddles!” I shouted.
Richard’s smirk deepened, and before I could ask anything else, he walked to the hall closet, yanked out a suitcase, and began stuffing my clothes inside.
“What are you doing?”
“Helping you,” he said, not looking up. “You deserve better than this. Better than someone who’d betray you.”
I stood there frozen, gripping the ornament like a lifeline as Richard tossed my jeans and sweaters into the suitcase with almost gleeful precision.
Clothes in a suitcase | Source: Pexels
“Stop it!” I snapped, yanking the bag from his hands. “You don’t get to—”
He looked up, his eyes suddenly weary. “Liam never told you about his past, did he? Some people are experts at creating the perfect illusion.”
“What does that mean?” I demanded, the ornament still clutched in my trembling hand. “Speak plainly!”
“Some truths,” Richard said, “are better discovered than explained.”
Just as I was about to dig deeper, the sound of the front door creaked open, making us both freeze. Liam was home.
A man opening a door | Source: Midjourney
“Eden?” his voice called from the doorway, his footsteps growing louder. He appeared in the living room seconds later, his expression flipping from confusion to alarm as he took in the half-packed suitcase and my tear-streaked face.
“What’s going on?” His gaze darted to Richard.
I shoved the ornament toward him. “Tell me what THIS is.”
Liam frowned, taking it from my hands.
“It was on the tree,” I said, my voice trembling. “Your dad said it belonged to someone named Nancy. He said she wanted it here. In OUR house.” I pointed at Richard. “And now he’s packing my things and telling me to leave.”
A woman holding a Christmas ornament | Source: Midjourney
Liam’s face darkened as he turned to his father. “What did you do?”
Richard faltered. “I just thought she deserved the truth! You’ve been sneaking around—”
“I wasn’t sneaking,” Liam snapped.
“Then explain this!” I shouted, cutting him off. “Who’s Nancy?!”
Liam exhaled, his jaw tightening. “She’s… she’s not what you think.”
“Then tell me what to think!”
“Nancy’s a little girl,” Liam revealed. “She’s eight years old. I met her at the shelter.”
“WHAT?” I blinked, trying to process his words.
A frustrated man holding his head | Source: Midjourney
“I’ve been volunteering there,” he continued, his voice softening. “Helping with the kids. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“Hurt me? How would this hurt me?”
Liam hesitated. “Because… because I know how much you wanted kids. And we can’t.” His voice cracked on the last word. “I didn’t want to make it worse.”
The room spun. “So you’ve been going behind my back to… to—”
“To feel like I could still do something good,” he said quickly.
When Liam said, “Nancy made this for me,” I couldn’t hold back anymore.
An emotional woman | Source: Midjourney
“You’ve been keeping this secret, volunteering at a shelter, connecting with a child, and you didn’t think I deserved to know?”
“Eden, please,” Liam pleaded, his hands reaching out. “It wasn’t like that.”
“Then tell me exactly what it was like!” I screamed, my composure shattering. “How long have you been hiding this? How many times have you looked me in the eye and said nothing?”
Richard shifted uncomfortably, watching our exchange with a mix of guilt and anxiety.
An anxious senior man | Source: Midjourney
“I was protecting you,” Liam whispered, his voice raw with emotion. “Protecting us.”
“Protecting me?” I laughed. “From what? From hope? From the possibility of something beautiful?”
The silence stretched, heavy and raw.
“She made this for me,” Liam broke the silence, holding up the ornament. “She said I made her feel safe. She even asked me to adopt her. I just didn’t know how to bring it up to you.”
A little girl making a glittery Christmas ornament | Source: Midjourney
Richard’s laugh cut through the moment like a blade. “Oh, come on. Do you seriously believe this tale?”
Liam turned on him, his fists clenched. “You knew, didn’t you? You overheard me on the phone, and you twisted it to suit your sick agenda.”
“Agenda?” Richard sneered, his voice dripping with contempt. “You mean exposing you for the liar you are? Someone had to do it. She deserves to know who she’s married to.”
A senior man yelling at someone | Source: Midjourney
“Liar?” I snapped, my voice trembling with rage. “The only liar here is you, Richard. You knew the truth, and you used it to try to break us apart. What kind of person does that to his own son?”
Richard’s expression hardened, his lips curling into a bitter sneer. “The kind of person who sees through the fairy tale you two think you’re living. Your perfect little life isn’t so perfect, is it?”
Liam took a step forward, his voice low and menacing. “You’ve always been a bitter old man, but this… this is low, even for you. You’re pathetic.”
An annoyed man | Source: Midjourney
Richard jabbed a finger in Liam’s direction. “Oh, don’t you dare talk to me like that! Her mother and I could’ve had a future if it weren’t for you and Eden tying yourselves together. Eden’s mother and I—”
“What are you even talking about?” I asked, my voice rising in disbelief. “Do you even hear yourself? You’re blaming your son and me for something that never existed in the first place?”
It all came spilling out then, the words dripping with years of resentment. Richard had been in love with my mother since high school. He spoke about her like she was some prize he had been cheated out of, his bitterness twisting each word into something almost unrecognizable.
When I married Liam, any hope he had of rekindling that old, unspoken dream vanished.
Grayscale shot of a newlywed couple | Source: Unsplash
Liam’s jaw tightened as he shook his head. “You really think that justifies what you’ve done? You tried to destroy my marriage because of some twisted fantasy? You don’t deserve her, and you sure as hell don’t deserve to be part of my family.”
“You’re pathetic,” I said, tears burning my eyes as I took a step closer. “I can’t even believe I let you stay in our home. You’ll never get to hurt us again.”
Liam’s voice was cold and final, his eyes locked on Richard. “Get out, Dad. And don’t come back.”
Richard looked between us, his face a storm of anger and humiliation. But he said nothing. He just grabbed his suitcase and dragged it out the door. He left that night, taking his bitterness with him and leaving us to pick up the pieces of his cruelty.
An upset senior man | Source: Midjourney
The days that followed were a blur of raw conversations and quiet rebuilding. Liam and I talked late into the night, untangling the knots of mistrust Richard had planted.
When we finally felt ready, we reached out to the shelter. Liam introduced me to Nancy, and my heart softened the moment I saw her. She was small for her age, with bright eyes and a warm smile that broke my heart in the best way.
“She’s been through a lot,” Liam murmured as Nancy shyly handed me a picture she’d drawn of the three of us. “But she’s still so hopeful.”
And just like that, I knew I had to follow my heart. We filed the paperwork to adopt her a month later. And soon, Nancy walked into our lives like a little miracle.
A cheerful little girl holding a unicorn plushie | Source: Midjourney
As I sat by the softly glowing Christmas tree, my eyes kept drifting to a new ornament nestled among the branches. It was small, glittery, and shaped like a heart. My fingers brushed against it more times than I could count, tracing the initials “L+N+E” in sparkly gold.
Liam. Nancy. Eden.
It wasn’t just an ornament… it was a reminder. Of the battles we’d faced. Of the lies that had tried to tear us apart. And of the love that had stitched us back together, stronger than I ever thought possible.
Love hadn’t been perfect, but that year, it was ours. And no one could take it away.
A cute glittery Christmas ornament on a tree | Source: Midjourney
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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