When Cassie returns from a getaway with her husband and son, she walks into her home to see a cryptic message from her mother — telling her to watch a video. As Cassie presses play, her entire life changes. In the end, she’s left wondering which of her parents are worthy of forgiveness.
In my eyes, my father could do no wrong. He was everything I needed him to be and more. He was a businessman who was always traveling, but he ensured that he made enough time for me.
“You’re my little girl, Cassie,” he would say, bopping my nose with his index finger. “You’re the most special.”
My parents always went out of their way for me — ensuring that despite their busy schedules, we would have family dinner almost every night.
It was the one thing that kept me grounded while both of my friends from school were in the middle of their parents’ messy divorces.
“I think it’s trendy now,” I told my mother as she cut slices of banana bread for me after school one day.
“Cas, you cannot think that divorce is trendy,” she laughed. “It’s devastating and traumatic, and very few families actually keep things civil.”
“I’m just saying that it’s trendy because a lot of kids live between two homes,” I explained to her. “It’s one of those things we were talking about in class today.”
I was fourteen, and the world seemed more dramatic than it should have been.
But what I didn’t know was that my words seemed to be an incantation that settled over our home.
A few weeks after that conversation, my father went away on a business trip. A few hours after he had been gone, there was news of his passing.
“How?” I asked. “How did he die?”
“I don’t know what to tell you, Cassie,” she replied. “I’m just saying what the paramedics told me.”
“So what will we do next?” I asked.
“What do you mean?” she asked, puzzled by the question.
“For the funeral?” I asked. “Aren’t we going to have one?”
“I don’t think so,” my mother replied. “Dad wanted to be cremated and have his ashes spread at the beach. Let’s do that instead.”
I couldn’t fathom why my mother would want to do that — but at the end of the day, she knew my father best. And the longer I thought about it, the more beautiful and sentimental a private ceremony at the beach felt.
“Don’t be difficult, Cassie,” my mother said when she saw me thinking about my next move.
“I’m not,” I said. “Really. I was just thinking about it. It’s a great idea, Mom.”
I could have fought her for a send-off that I thought would have been more appropriate. But what use would it have been? At the end of the day, we had both lost him.
The months following the beach ceremony felt weighted, and I knew that I was becoming deeply depressed — my father had been our world. And his absence was felt more than anything.
But, with time, I learned to live with it.
Last week, I decided to book a cabin in the woods for a little family vacation. My son was adamant that camping was the new best thing, and I knew that despite the wonders of nature, I wasn’t going to camp in a tent without a bathroom in sight.
Instead, I thought that a cabin would be the best option — my husband, Derek, could camp outside with Drew, our son, if he insisted on it.
We had a dog, therefore, I asked my mother to house-sit for the week so that we could be at peace, knowing that Romeo was taken care of.
A week away was more than enough to restore my mind — and eventually, when we went back home, I was surprised to see that my mother wasn’t there. In fact, it looked like she had never been there.
But there, on the coffee table, was a note beneath the TV remote.
Watch this, Cassie. I’m sorry. — Mom
I didn’t know what was in store for me, but while Derek got Drew into the bath, I put the TV on and began to watch whatever my mother had planned.
The TV flickered to life, and there he was, my father, his voice a long-lost melody, his image aged but still, unmistakably him.
Tears streamed down my face as the realization that he was still alive enveloped me in a mix of joy and disbelief.
The video message was nothing short of unpredictable.
My dear Cassie, I’m still here, alive. I’m so sorry for the pain that you must have felt from my loss. But it was needed. I needed to be removed from your life because of the sordid truth of my past. Your mother knows everything, please ask her for the truth.
My health is on a steady decline, and I would love to see you and explain it all.
Love you, Dad.
Without telling Derek or Drew anything, I grabbed the car keys and ran out. I needed my mother to explain.
“So, I bet you’ve got questions for me,” she said, opening the door.
“Explain it all,” I said.
“Cassie, it’s heavy. You look tired from your trip; are you sure you want to do this now?” she asked.
I nodded. It was now or never. I needed to know why my father faked his own death to get out of our lives.
My mother made us some tea and took out some shortbread.
“Darling,” she said. “I’ll understand if you don’t forgive me, but there’s so much about that time that I need to tell you.”
I sipped my tea, trying to figure out what my mother was about to tell me.
“I remember that you were telling me about your friend’s parents getting divorced. Do you remember that?” she asked.
I nodded. Of course, I did. It was the strangest thing, but it was so common when I was in school.
“Well, your father and I were not legally married. So when I told him about our conversation regarding divorce, he was actually relieved. Without being married, there would be no divorce.”
“What’s the big deal?” I asked.
“Then I found out that the real reason that we didn’t get married was because your father was already married to another woman.”
“What?” I exclaimed, almost dropping my cup. “To who?”
“To a woman in the town where he always had his business trips.”
“You didn’t know?” I asked, unable to believe her words.
“Of course not!” she exclaimed. “But when I pressed him about it, he decided to choose that family over us. So, I told him that the story was going to be his death.”
We were both silent for a moment.
Turns out that my mother told him that she would never tell me the truth, not when he was my favorite person. She couldn’t burst my bubble in that way. And she refused to let him see me one more time.
“It was better for you to think that it was an accident,” my mother said. “It just made more sense.”
Now, I understood why we didn’t have a funeral for him.
“What did we throw into the sea, then?” I asked.
“Dust,” she replied with a straight face.
My mother had spoken to him twice over the years. The second time being a day ago.
During their meeting, my father confessed his imminent death due to illness and requested that she give me the recording. My mother, torn by guilt and love, chose to write me the note and have the recording all set for me to watch.
“I would have taken the secret to my grave,” she said. “But knowing that he was ill and wanted to see you just struck something in me.”
Compelled by a need to confront the reality of my father’s existence, I traveled to the state where he lived with his other family.
I spent a few weeks with my father — going in and out of hospitals, watching him take an array of different medication, and growing weaker by the day.
Sitting at his bedside, I listened to his stories, the regrets, the moments of joy, and the love he had for all his children — myself included.
When things started to go downhill, I asked Derek to fly over with Drew. It was going to be a fleeting moment, but at least I’d know that my son had met my father.
A few days later, my father died.
Even now, I don’t know if I’ve forgiven him for the lie of having a double life. I just know that when it came to it in the end — I wanted to spend time with him. I had shoved my feelings aside, hoping for memories that I could figure out later.
But now that the dust has settled, I’m trying to figure out if I should forgive my mother for lying.
What would you do?
THE LOVE STORY OF MARLO THOMAS AND PHIL DONAHUE.
Phil Donahue and Marlo Thomas wrote a book about marriage. It’s called “What Makes a Marriage Last: 40 Celebrated Couples Share with Us the Secrets.” In the book, they talk about their own marriage and share secrets from other couples.
Even though Marlo has been married to Phil for more than 40 years, she admits that when she was younger, she didn’t really want to get married.
In the book, Marlo Thomas talks about how she used to think marriage was like a vacuum cleaner that sucks out all your energy and ambition. She felt like living with a jailer you had to please.
But everything changed when she met Phil Donahue. They found each other after Phil’s first marriage ended, and now they have a strong bond that has lasted their whole lives.
Phil Donahue became famous with his TV show, “The Phil Donahue Show,” which later became just “Donahue.” It ran for 29 years and was the first show to let the audience join in. Marlo Thomas was a guest on his show, and meeting her changed Phil’s life.
The couple first met in Chicago in 1977. Phil Donahue already had four boys with him, and his fifth child, a daughter, lived with his ex-wife and her mother in another place.
Marlo and Phil dated for three years before getting married in 1980 in a small ceremony with 35 people.
Marlo’s friends and family were surprised by her decision to get married, given her past views on marriage. The book tells a funny story about friends at Marlo’s bridal shower putting up quotes from her that showed her previous thoughts about marriage.
According to the book, Marlo’s mom was really surprised at their wedding and kept asking Phil, “How did you get her to do this?” Even strangers, like a woman on their honeymoon plane to Greece, were shocked and disappointed that Marlo, who was known for being independent, decided to settle down.
In the book, Marlo admits that this made her doubt her choice. She wondered if she was being hypocritical since she had criticized marriage for so long. She worried that she let down fans who saw her as a symbol of independence.
Despite the challenges, Phil and Marlo make their marriage work. They talk about the ups and downs in the book, saying that those tough times helped strengthen their bond.
In the early days of their marriage, they spent time apart because Phil was taping his show in Chicago, and Marlo was traveling for her acting career. Even though they weren’t always living together, Marlo’s aunt helped her see that marriage can mean different things to different people.
Despite the distance, Marlo and Phil made their marriage successful. And one important thing to note is that Marlo not only gained a husband but also gained children when she got married.
In a 2012 interview with AARP, Marlo Thomas talked about helping to raise Phil’s children. She knew they already had a traditional mother, so she didn’t try to take on that role. Instead, she became more like a friend to Phil’s children, just like her own mother was to her.
Marlo says that her relationship with Phil’s children is even stronger now than when she first married Phil. In the book, Phil emphasizes that Marlo spent a lot of time talking to and trying to understand his sons.
Phil and Marlo think that the key to their long marriage is the trust they have in each other. Marlo says, “You build trust when you realize that this person always has your back.”
Even though they’ve been married for over 40 years, they believe there are still more memories to create together.
Phil says that for a marriage to last, both people have to really want it. Marlo agrees and says that looking back, she wouldn’t have it any other way than being married to Phil. She points out that he has supported her in every possible way.
Marriage is a wonderful connection, especially when two people fully commit to it. This couple is truly inspiring and sets a great example for all of us. We should all aim for a relationship as successful as theirs!
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