A man on a fIight to Chicago suddenly found himself having an urgent need to use the bathroom. He headed over to the men’s room, nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the door, it was occupied.
A stewardess noticed his predicament and told him, I’ll let you use the ladies’ room, but on one condition – don’t touch the buttons on the wall! The man breathed a sigh of reIief while sitting on the toilet, and his attention drifted to the buttons on the wall. The buttons were marked “WW, WA, PP and ATR”.
Making the mistake that so many men make in disregarding the importance of what a woman says, the man let his curiosity get the best of him and decided to try the buttons anyway.
He carefully pressed the first button marked “WW” and immediately warm water sprayed all over his entire bottom. He thought, Wow, this is strangeIy pleasant, women really have it made!
Still curious, he pressed the button marked “WA” and a gentle breeze of warm air quickly dried his hind quarters.
This is amazing!” he thought, Men’s rooms having nothing like this! He then pressed the button marked “PP”, which yielded a large powder puff that delicately appIied a soft talc to his rear.
Well, naturally he couldn’t resist the last button marked “ATR”, and then everything went black. When he woke up in the hospital he panicked and buzzed for the nurse. When she appeared, he cried out, “What happened to me?! The last thing I remember, I was in the Iadies’ room on a plane!
The nurse replied, Yes, I’m sure you were having a great time until you pressed the ‘ATR’ button, which stands for ‘Automatic Tampon Remover.’
So I am at Walmart scanning and bagging my almost $300 worth of groceries while the employee that wants $15 an hour “monitors” and then this happened.
So I am at Walmart scanning and bagging my almost $300
So I am at Walmart scanning and bagging my almost $300 worth of groceries while the employee that wants $15 an hour “monitors” and then this happened.
Her – why are you double bagging all of your groceries?
Me – excuse me?
Her – you are wasting our bags!
Me – if you don’t like the way I’m bagging the groceries, feel free to come on over here and bag them yourself.
Her – that’s not my job!
Me – okay, then I will bag my groceries how I please if that’s all right with you.
Her – why are you using two bags?!
Me – because the bags are weak and I don’t want the handles to break or the bottoms to rip out.
Her – well that’s because you are putting too much stuff in the bag. If you took half of that stuff out and put it in a different bag then you wouldn’t need to double bag.
*10 seconds of me just staring at her.
Me – so you want me to split these items in half and put half of them in a different bag so that I don’t have to double bag.
Her – exactly.
Me – so I would still be using two bags to hold the same number of items.
Her – no because you wouldn’t be double bagging.
*me pressing two fingers to my left eye in an attempt to make it stop twitching.
Me – okay so here I have a jug of milk and a bottle of juice double bagged. If I take the milk out and remove the double bagging and just put the milk in the single bag and the juice in that single bag I’m still using two bags for these two items.
Her- no because you are not double bagging them so it’s not the same number of bags.
*me looking around at about 10 other customers who at this point are enjoying the show.
Me- is this like that Common Core math stuff I keep hearing about?
Her- never mind you just don’t get it.
And with that, she went back to her little Podium so she could continue texting or playing games on her phone or whatever it was she was doing before she decided to come over and critique my bagging skills.
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