As many married couples can attest, the journey towards parenthood is one that is often envisaged as being shared equally between both partners. I held a strong conviction that my pregnancy would be a time of shared joy and responsibility with my husband. I imagined us attending each prenatal appointment together, his hand in mine, as we listened to the heartbeat of our unborn child, eagerly discussing our future with excitement and tenderness. Sadly, the reality I faced was starkly different. It became increasingly apparent that my husband was more inclined to prioritize his social life and personal interests, repeatedly sidelining our important prenatal milestones. This recurring pattern of neglect ultimately pushed me to a point where I felt compelled to teach him an unforgettable lesson.
From the moment we discovered I was pregnant, it felt as if we had stepped into a dream. For years, my husband and I had looked forward to starting a family, and now, it seemed our dreams were finally coming to fruition. The news came to us during a short romantic getaway, which felt like the universe’s way of telling us that our lives were about to change for the better. We knew that the journey ahead would be fraught with challenges, but we were ready—or so I thought—to face them together.
In the early weeks, my excitement was palpable. I approached every aspect of pregnancy with a positive spirit, even the less pleasant moments like morning sickness, because I believed that having my husband’s support would make the challenges manageable. However, his lack of involvement soon became evident. It seemed he viewed the pregnancy as my sole responsibility, an ordeal I must face alone while he maintained the freedom of our pre-parenthood days.
During the first trimester, there were nights filled with discomfort and restlessness, where the cold bathroom floor became my refuge. Meanwhile, my husband slept soundly, undisturbed and seemingly oblivious to my struggles. Even a simple gesture of fetching a glass of water seemed too much to ask of him. I found myself growing resentful, feeling abandoned in what was supposed to be our shared journey. I couldn’t help but think, “If I am already doing the job of being pregnant, the least he could do was rub my feet, or help when I am dealing with the worst nausea. I mean the child is not only his when it’s born.”
Our excitement soon soured into tension and frequent arguments. I had hoped that we would at least be able to share the experience of prenatal appointments, but my husband’s attendance was sporadic. He often opted out, preferring to engage in leisure activities with his friends. His excuses were flimsy, and whenever I expressed my disappointment, he dismissed my concerns with a shrug, saying, “I’m not the one carrying the baby, why do I have to go see the doctor with you?”
The turning point came when we were scheduled to attend an appointment to learn the gender of our baby. This was a moment I had envisioned as a milestone for us as a couple, an experience that would further bond us to our child. However, at the last minute, he decided to skip the appointment to enjoy a casual meal of fish ‘n’ chips with a friend. I was devastated and furious, but I managed to keep my composure. Instead of him, my mother accompanied me, and together, we discovered that we were expecting a daughter.
Resolved to make my husband realize the significance of his absence, I planned a poignant reminder for our gender reveal party. I commissioned a cake that was outwardly ordinary, decorated with question marks. However, hidden inside was a unique twist meant to symbolize his recent choices.
At the party, surrounded by friends and family, I asked my husband to do the honors of cutting the cake. As he sliced through the cake, out poured not the traditional blue or pink hues but miniature, edible fish ‘n’ chips. The symbolism was not lost on anyone—this was the meal he had deemed more important than attending the gender reveal of his own child. The room erupted in laughter, and while the atmosphere was light, the message hit home. It was a playful yet serious reminder of what he had missed. Taking advantage of the lighthearted mood, I expressed how crucial it is for us to support each other, especially during such a transformative phase of our lives.
Following the laughter and initial surprise, I presented the real reveal—a second cake, this one intricately decorated in soft pastel colors with delicate baby footprints. Together, we cut into it, revealing a beautiful soft pink interior. The room cheered, “It’s a girl!” The joy and excitement were overwhelming, and it was clear that the message had been received.
The realization of what he had been neglecting seemed to dawn on my husband. His apology that night was heartfelt, and from that day forward, he became a more present and involved partner. He attended every subsequent appointment without fail, and his newfound commitment to our prenatal journey was unmistakable.
As we continued to prepare for the arrival of our daughter, the atmosphere in our home shifted from one of tension to one of eager anticipation. We started planning the nursery, selecting each piece of furniture with care. My husband took particular interest in building some of the furniture himself, showcasing a level of engagement that was both surprising and heartening.
The incident with the fish ‘n’ chips cake became a legendary story within our family, a humorous but poignant reminder of the importance of being present and supportive. It served not only as a lesson for my husband but also as a reminder to both of us about the significance of shared experiences and mutual support in our marriage.
Reflecting on the journey, it became clear that the challenges we faced were not merely obstacles but opportunities for growth. They strengthened our relationship, deepening our understanding and appreciation for one another. As we awaited the arrival of our daughter, we were not just preparing to be parents but also learning to be better partners to each other. This experience, though fraught with initial misunderstandings and adjustments, ultimately enriched our bond and reinforced the foundation upon which our growing family would stand.
Actor Ali MacGraw sacrificed her own career for Steve McQueen
Ali MacGraw became a Hollywood superstar overnight. But just as quickly as she rose to fame, she disappeared from show business altogether.
Today, the 84-year-old actress has settled down in a remote and tiny town, and she’s aging gracefully with her grey hair.
Ali MacGraw
Ali MacGraw – born Elizabeth Alice MacGraw – was born on April 1, 1939, in Pound Ridge, New York, USA. Her mother, Frances, was an artist and worked at a school in Paris, later settling in Greenwich Village. She married Richard MacGraw, who was also an artist. In 1939, Ali was born.
Ali’s father Richard supposedly had issues from his own childhood which made him a little bit different from others.
He had survived a terrible childhood in an orphanage, running away at the age of 16 to go to sea. He would later study at an art school in Munich, Germany.
“Daddy was frightened and really, really angry. He never forgave his real parents for giving him up,” Ali explained, saying said her father’s adult life was spent “suppressing the rage that covered all his hurt.”
Ali MacGraw – childhood
Money was short for their family, too. Frances and Richard, together with Ali and her brother, Richard Jr, had to move into a house on a Pound Ridge wilderness preserve which they shared with an elderly couple.
“There were no doors; we shared the kitchen and bathroom with them,” Ali said. “It was utter lack of privacy. It was horrible.”
Mom Francis worked with several commercial-art assignments and supported the family. At the same time, Richard had a hard time selling his paintings, and as a result became very frustrated. Ali’s brother Richard became a victim for his anger at home.
“On good days he was great, but on bad days he was horrendous,” she recalled. “Daddy would beat my brother up, badly. I was witness to it, and it was terrible.”
Ali was the daughter of artists, and she knew that she, too, wanted to go into a creative line of work as she got older. She earned a scholarship at the prep school Rosemary Hall, and in 1956, she moved to study at Wellesley College in Massachusetts.
By the age of 22, Ali MacGraw moved to New York and got her first job as an assistant editor at Harper’s Bazaar, working with photographers as an assistant.
Fashion work in New York
Fashion editor Diana Vreeland hired Ali as, what she recalls as, a “flunkie”. Ever seen the film The Devil Wears Prada? Well, it was pretty much that.
“It was ‘Girl! Get me a pencil!’,” MacGraw recalled.
The future Hollywood celebrity worked her job as an assistant for several months. Then, about six months in, fashion photographer Melvin Sokolsky noticed her beautiful looks, and Ali MacGraw was hired as a stylist,and given a better salary. She’d end up staying in that position for six years.
“I don’t know where she got this work ethic, but Ali would come in at eight a.m., and many times I’d come back at one in the morning and she would still be doing things for the next day,” Ruth Ansel, a former art director of Vanity Fair and Harper’s Bazaar recalls.
Ali was great as a stylist. But soon, she was asked to work in front of the cameras as a model. It didn’t take long before she was on magazine covers all over the world, even appearing in television commercials. For thing led to another, and Ali tumbled headfirst into the profession of acting.
She had been sketched nude by Salvador Dali a couple of years earlier. But when the surrealist artist started sucking her toes, MacGraw decided that she’d rather be an actress than a model.
Ali MacGraw – films
Ali went straight from an unknown stylist and into the world of cinema, and boy, did she do it with a bang.
She was untutored in the art of film, which gave her acting another dimension. Her natural beauty was stunning, and the audience loved her.
Following a small role in A Lovely Way to Die (1968), she was asked to star in the 1969 film Goodbye, Columbus. It turned out to be a great call, with MacGraw receiving a Golden Globe for Most Promising Newcomer – Female. The following year, she got her big international breakthrough with a role that would pretty much sum up her career.
Ali MacGraw had received a script from her agent. She’d read it and wept twice because of how much she loved it. She decided she really wanted a part in it, and got herself a meeting with the film’s producer Robert Evans – who at the time was Paramount Picture’s head of production – at the Beverly Hills Hotel’s Polo Lounge. Not only did Evans think she was perfect for the part in the movie Love Story, he absolutely fell in love with her.
MacGraw – playing the role of Jenny – acted alongside Ryan O’Neal in the movie Love Story. The American romantic drama film, in which Ali played a working-class college student, became a smash hit.
Love Story hit the cinemas in 1970, and wow did the audience cherish it. It became the No. 1 film in the United States, and at the time, it was the sixth highest grossing movie in history in the US and Canada.
Award-winning actress
MacGraw earned an Academy Award nomination for her role, and the film itself earned her another win and five Academy Award Nominations. She also won herself a second Golden Globe as Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama.
Film producer Robert Evans not only loved her on screen, he had fallen in love with her in real life, and that love was reciprocated. In 1969, the couple tied the knot, and two years later, they welcomed their son, Josh Evans.
Ali MacGraw was the hot new star of the 1970s, but her private life and marriage with Evans would soon come to an end. Steve McQueen had visited their home to ask her to star alongside him in The Getaway, and the two Hollywood stars clicked right away.
“I looked in those blue eyes, and my knees started knocking,” MacGraw recalled. “I became obsessed.”
MacGraw and McQueen had an affair, and she soon left Evans to live with the actor in Malibu, along with her son Josh.
“Steve was this very original, principled guy who didn’t seem to be part of the system, and I loved that,” she said.
Ali MacGraw – Steve McQueen
But after a while, Ali realized that Steve McQueen had his own problems. Following his father abandoning his mother, a then-14-year-old Steve was sent to a school for delinquent children. MacGraw said he never trusted women after that.
(Photo by Silver Screen Collection/Getty Images)
He didn’t like that she worked and had her own career. For a while, Ali stayed home to raise their sons. But her husband’s demands were something Ali simply couldn’t accept in the long run.
Not only that, but he’d explode if she even looked at another man. He also wanted her to sign a prenuptial agreement, promising not to ask for anything if they’d divorce. She abided by the agreement when they did divorce in 1978.
“I couldn’t even go to art class because Steve expected his ‘old lady’ to be there every night with dinner on the table,” she recalled.
“Steve’s idea of hot was not me. He liked blond bimbos, and they were always around.”
This was the start of a pretty dark time in MacGraw’s life. She arrived on set to shoot the 1978 film Convoy both drunk and high, which prompted her to quit drugs.
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