The sight that greeted me as I walked into my mother-in-law’s living room nearly made me choke on my own breath. Towering over the pristine white carpet stood a magnificent Christmas tree, its branches laden with twinkling lights and a dazzling array of ornaments.
“Merry Christmas!” my mother-in-law chirped, her face beaming with an almost childlike glee.
I managed a weak smile, my inner monologue a raging torrent of disbelief. “Oh, it’s… it’s lovely,” I muttered, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “Very festive.”
She beamed. “I spent all afternoon decorating it. It reminds me of my childhood, decorating the tree with my mother before she passed away.”
“Oh,” I said, my voice flat. “Sentimental, I suppose.”
“It brings me joy,” she said, her eyes twinkling. “It’s a beautiful tradition.”
Joy? At her age? At 70 years old, shouldn’t she be focusing on more important things? Like, I don’t know, spending time with her grandkids? Enjoying her golden years? Instead, she was wasting her time and money on a childish frivolity.
“It must have cost a fortune,” I remarked, my voice laced with disdain. “All those ornaments, the lights… You could have bought something useful for the kids with that money.”
Her smile faltered. “They have everything they need.”
“They could always use more,” I countered, my voice hardening. “College funds, maybe? Or maybe you could help us with the mortgage.”
My mother-in-law’s face, once radiant with joy, now wore a look of hurt. “I… I thought you’d be happy for me,” she stammered.
“Happy?” I scoffed. “Why would I be happy? You’re wasting your time and money on something that’s completely frivolous at your age.”
The rest of the visit was awkward. My mother-in-law, her eyes filled with disappointment, retreated to the corner of the room, her joy extinguished by my callous words. My husband, sensing the tension, tried to mediate, but I was too caught up in my own indignation to listen.
As we drove away, I felt a strange sense of unease creeping over me. My words, sharp and cruel, echoed in my ears. I had hurt her, deeply. And for what? For a Christmas tree?
That night, I couldn’t sleep. The image of my mother-in-law, sitting alone in the living room, her eyes filled with sadness, haunted me. I realized that my own materialistic values had blinded me to the true meaning of joy, the importance of cherished memories, and the simple pleasures of life.
The next day, I returned to my mother-in-law’s house, a bouquet of flowers in hand. I apologized for my insensitive remarks. I explained that I was wrong, that her happiness was more important than any material possession.
To my surprise, she accepted my apology with grace. “It’s alright, dear,” she said, her eyes twinkling. “I understand. But you know, decorating this tree brought me more joy than anything else could have.”
As I watched her gaze lovingly at the sparkling tree, I finally understood. True happiness wasn’t about accumulating wealth or striving for material possessions. It was about finding joy in the simple things, about cherishing memories, and about embracing the magic of the holiday season.
That Christmas, I helped my mother-in-law decorate the tree. And as I watched her face light up with joy, I realized that I had learned a valuable lesson. Sometimes, the most precious gifts are the ones that can’t be bought, the ones that come from the heart. The sight that greeted me upon entering my mother-in-law’s living room nearly made me choke on my own breath. Standing tall in the corner, a veritable beacon of misplaced enthusiasm, was a towering Christmas tree, dripping with ornaments and twinkling lights.
“Merry Christmas!” she chirped, her voice a little too high-pitched, a little too…childlike.
I managed a weak smile. “Merry Christmas, Mom,” I replied, my voice dripping with sarcasm I couldn’t quite control. “That’s… quite the tree.”
She beamed, “Isn’t it lovely? Took me all morning. I even found some of my old ornaments from when I was a child.”
“Oh, that’s… nice,” I mumbled, my eyes rolling involuntarily.
“It reminds me of my mother,” she continued, her voice softening. “We used to decorate the tree together every year. She would tell me stories about Christmases past, about her childhood.”
My jaw tightened. “Well, that’s… sweet,” I said through gritted teeth. “But don’t you think you’re a bit old for this? You should be focusing on spending time with your grandchildren, enjoying your retirement.”
My mother-in-law’s smile faltered. “I enjoy this,” she said quietly. “It brings me joy.”
“Joy?” I scoffed. “At your age? You should be focusing on more important things, like, I don’t know, your health, your finances.”
Her eyes, once sparkling with delight, now held a hint of hurt. “I’m perfectly healthy,” she retorted, her voice rising. “And I don’t need your lectures on how to spend my money. I worked hard for it, and I’ll spend it however I choose.”
The argument escalated from there. I accused her of being childish, of wasting her time and money on frivolous pursuits. She countered with accusations of being selfish and materialistic, of not understanding the importance of family traditions.
As I stormed out, the image of the glittering Christmas tree, a symbol of her joy and her past, haunted me. I had been so focused on my own needs, on my own desires, that I had failed to see the simple joy that this seemingly insignificant act brought to my mother-in-law.
That night, as I lay awake, I couldn’t shake off the feeling of guilt. Had I been too harsh? Was it really so wrong for her to cling to a cherished childhood memory?
The next morning, I returned to my mother-in-law’s house, a bouquet of flowers in hand. “I apologize for my behavior yesterday,” I said sincerely. “I was wrong. The tree is beautiful, and I can see how much it means to you.”
A surprised smile spread across her face. “Thank you, dear,” she said, her voice filled with warmth. “It means a lot to me that you understand.”
As I helped her decorate cookies with my children, I realized that true happiness wasn’t about accumulating wealth or striving for material possessions. It was about finding joy in the simple things, about cherishing memories, and about appreciating the beauty of the present moment.
And as I watched my children’s eyes light up at the sight of the glittering Christmas tree, I knew that my mother-in-law, in her own way, had given them a gift far more precious than any material possession: the gift of a cherished memory, a reminder of the magic of the holiday season, and the enduring power of family traditions.
From that day on, I looked at the Christmas tree with a newfound appreciation. It was no longer a symbol of childishness or a waste of money; it was a testament to the enduring power of joy, a reminder to cherish the simple pleasures, and a beautiful reflection of the woman who had given me the greatest gift of all – the love of my children.
How to Own Your Dream Home
For most people, their first home isn’t their dream home. It starts off nice enough. But as time goes by and your family grows, starter homes tend to get a little . . . cramped.
But don’t hate on your current home too much. Because while it gave you a safe and dry place to lay your head at night, it was also setting you up to own your dream home someday.
We’ll show you how it all works and walk you through the steps that’ll get you in your dream home—one you can actually afford!
How to Get Your Dream Home in 5 Steps
Here are the steps:
- Follow the Financial Basics
- Find Out How Much Equity You Have
- Set Your New Home-Buying Budget
- Find the Right Dream Home for You
- Be Picky and Patient
Now let’s cover each step in more detail.
Step 1: Follow the Financial Basics
First thing’s first—you have to get out of debt, get on a budget, and build up an emergency fund of 3–6 months of expenses. Sounds pretty basic, right? If you haven’t completed these steps, then you’re not ready to upgrade to your dream home . . . yet.
Now, when you’ve got house fever, it can be hard to focus on paying off debt or saving an emergency fund before you upgrade your home—especially when you’re feeling the pressure of rising home prices and interest rates.
But whether it’s your second or third house, you should only buy a home when you’ve covered the financial basics we mentioned above. Then you’ll be ready to start the journey toward owning your dream house.
And that journey starts with your home equity. What’s equity? Well, we’re glad you asked . . . that brings us to the next step.
Step 2: Find Out How Much Equity You Have
Home equity is a pretty simple concept: It’s your current home’s value minus whatever you still owe on your mortgage.
See, in most cases, your home’s value increases over time. Similar to other long-term investments (like retirement accounts), homes gradually increase in value. There have been periods of ups and downs in the market to be sure, but the value of real estate has consistently gone up. According to the St. Louis Federal Reserve, the average sale price of a home has increased over 2,300% from 1965 to 2023! And in the last ten years (2013 to 2023), there’s been a 68% increase.1 As your home increases in value, so does your equity. In real estate terms, this is called appreciation.
Other factors that increase your home’s equity include:
- Added value: Home improvement projects like adding square footage, updating fixtures and appliances, or even just slapping on a new coat of paint can add value to your home.
- Mortgage paydown: Paying down your mortgage not only gets you out of debt faster, it also builds your equity. The less you owe on your home, the more equity you have.
The amount of equity you have gives you a pretty good idea of how much money you’ll end up with after selling your house. You can use that money to make a hefty down payment and cover the other costs that come with buying a home.
Find expert agents to help you buy your home.
So, how do you determine your home’s value? Well, you can get a ballpark estimate on real estate websites like Zillow, ask a trusted real estate agent to perform a competitive market analysis (which they’ll do anyway if they’re helping you sell your house), or get a professional appraisal.
Finding out your home’s equity will involve a little math, but it’s third-grade-level stuff, so don’t sweat it.
Here’s what we mean. Let’s say your home’s current value is $355,000. When you sell that house, you’ll have to pay for between 1–3% of the sale price in closing costs, another 6% in fees for the real estate agent who helped you sell it, and whatever’s left to pay off on your mortgage.
That means you can estimate clearing over $223,000 from selling your house. That’s a killer down payment on your dream home! And if your home is paid off, that’s even more money to put down and use to pay for things like repairs and moving expenses.
Step 3: Set Your Dream Home Budget
Once you know how much you’ll clear from the sale of your home, you can start making a budget for your dream home.
The key to owning your dream home (instead of it owning you) is to keep your mortgage payment to no more than 25% of your take-home pay on a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage, along with paying a down payment of at least 20% to avoid private mortgage insurance (PMI). Never get a 30-year mortgage even if the bank offers it (and they will). You’d pay a fortune in interest—money that should go toward building your wealth, not the bank’s.
So, let’s say your take-home pay is $4,800 a month. That means your monthly mortgage payment shouldn’t be any bigger than $1,200. By the way, that 25% figure should also include other home fees collected every month with the mortgage payment like homeowners association (HOA) fees, insurance premiums and property taxes.
Plug your numbers into our mortgage calculator to see how much house you can afford.
And don’t forget to budget for all those other costs that come with the home-buying process in addition to your closing fees—things like moving expenses and any upgrades or repairs you might need to make. You don’t want these hidden costs to catch you off guard or drain your emergency fund.
Step 4: Find the Right Dream Home for You
This is where things get real. After all your hard work building up your equity (and doing a lot of math—don’t forget that), you’re finally ready to start the house hunt. Woo-hoo!
But don’t lose focus. Stay zoned in by making a list of features that make a home fit your budget, lifestyle and dreams—and stick to it throughout your house hunt. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
- Don’t compromise on location and layout. If you plan to be in this home for the long haul, an out-of-the-way neighborhood or a wacky floor plan is a deal breaker. Look for a community and layout that’ll suit your lifestyle now and for years to come.
- Think about how much space your family needs. While your budget has the final say about how much home you buy, you’ll want your dream home to fit your family’s needs through different life seasons.
- Consider the school districts. If you have or want kids, the quality of the nearby school districts is probably already on your mind. But even if you don’t have kids or you’re retired, keep in mind that having good schools nearby could increase your home’s value.
- Look for a house that’ll grow in value. Are home values rising in the area? Is the number of businesses going up? These factors can help you figure out whether your dream home will turn into a good investment.
- Count the costs. Want that fancy master bathroom with the multiple showerheads and the Jacuzzi tub? Be clear on what’s a must-have and what’s nice to have. And don’t forget, upgraded features like that will make your dream home more expensive.
Step 5: Be Picky and Patient
We know you’re anxious to get into those new digs, but be patient. Wait for the right house at the right time. Don’t spend your money on a less-than-ideal home just because you’re tired of looking.
The key is finding a good real estate agent who understands your budget and refuses to settle for “good enough.” They’re as committed to your dream as you are and will have your back throughout the entire process, no matter what it takes.
In addition to teaming up with a great real estate agent, you can take a couple of extra steps to make sure you’re ready to strike as soon as the right home comes up:
- Get preapproved for a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage. Having preapproved financing is a green flag for sellers—especially in multiple offer situations. And because this puts most of your information in the lender’s system, you’ll be on the fast track to closing once your offer is accepted.
- Offer earnest money with your bid. Earnest money is a deposit to show you’re truly interested in a home. Usually it’s 1–2% of the home’s purchase price and it’s applied to your down payment or closing costs. Even if the deal falls through, you can almost always get most of it back.
Find a Real Estate Expert in Your Local Market
Now, you might be thinking you have some work to do before you’re ready to find your dream home. Or you may be realizing your years of hard work are about to pay off! Regardless, if you follow these steps, you’ll find the house you’ve always wanted and avoid a purchase you’ll regret.
Once you’re ready, connect with one of our RamseyTrusted real estate agents. These are high-performing agents who do business the Ramsey way and share your values so you can rest easy knowing the search for your dream home is in the right hands.
Find the only real estate agents in your area we trust, and start the hunt for your dream home!
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