Get ready to ho-ho-howl with laughter! These 10 Christmas jokes are packed with holiday cheer and cheeky humor to keep your spirits bright. Whether you need a quick laugh or a joke to share at the holiday table, these festive funnies will surely bring everyone joy!
Ah, Christmas! The time of year when everything sparkles, people get a little more generous, and we all pretend fruitcake is something we look forward to eating.
A woman sitting at a table with a plate of fruitcake | Source: Pexels
The holiday season is full of cheer, and it’s also a great time for laughter. Whether you’re cozy by the fireplace or stuck at a family gathering looking for a way to break the ice, these jokes are sure to bring a smile.
So grab your hot cocoa, settle in, and get ready to chuckle with these festive funnies!
A Christmas Test at Heaven’s Gates
Three men find themselves at the pearly gates of heaven on Christmas Eve. Saint Peter meets them with a stern look and a challenge.
St. Peter standing at heaven’s gates | Source: Midjourney
“To get into heaven tonight, you each need to show me something that represents Christmas.”
The first man digs into his pockets, pulls out a match, and lights it. “This is a Christmas candle,” he says with a hopeful smile.
“Impressive,” Saint Peter says and waves him through.
A man holding a lit match | Source: Pexels
The second man reaches into his jacket and jangles a set of keys. “These are Christmas bells,” he grins.
Saint Peter nods, letting him pass.
Then, the third man steps up, pulling out a pair of red panties.
Puzzled, Saint Peter asks, “And what on earth do these have to do with Christmas?”
Women’s underwear | Source: Unsplash
The man smirks, “They’re Carol’s.”
If that joke didn’t light your Christmas candle, this next one might leave you laughing all the way to New Year’s Day. It’s a story of holiday hangovers, memory lapses, and a husband waking up to a Christmas surprise he definitely wasn’t expecting.
The Hungover Husband’s Christmas Surprise
Paul wakes up groggy and disoriented after his company’s Christmas party. He can barely remember how he got home, and his pounding headache isn’t helping.
A man sitting on the side of the bed | Source: Pexels
As he pries his eyes open, he notices a glass of water, two aspirin, and a single red rose on his nightstand. His clothes are neatly folded, and the room is spotless. In the bathroom, he notices he has a black eye, and his wife has left him a note on the mirror.
“Darling, breakfast is on the stove. I left early to pick up groceries for your favorite dinner tonight. I love you!”
In the kitchen, a full breakfast is waiting, and his son is already at the table.
A boy eating breakfast | Source: Midjourney
Paul asks his son, “What happened last night?”
“Well, you got home super late, totally drunk, and made a mess. You tripped over the coffee table, broke it, and smashed into the door, giving yourself that black eye.”
Confused, Paul stammers, “Then why is everything so perfect this morning?”
A confused man | Source: Midjourney
His son shrugs, “Oh, that’s easy. When Mum tried to take off your pants, you yelled, ‘Leave me alone! I’m married!’”
Let’s keep it going with a military twist on Christmas wishes. Sometimes, what you ask for isn’t exactly what you get, especially when you’re stationed away from home. This one’s for anyone who knows the struggles of life in uniform during the holidays.
The Soldier’s Christmas Wish
Two soldiers are in the mess hall chatting about past Christmas memories.
Two soldiers chatting | Source: Midjourney
“I’ll never forget that one Christmas,” the first soldier says. “I spent an entire week peeling potatoes.”
“What happened?” his friend asks.
“Well, the sergeant asked what I wanted for Christmas,” he recalls.
“And what did you ask for?”
A soldier | Source: Pexels
“A new sergeant,” the first soldier replies.
Ready for a joke that’s heaven-sent? This next story features a monk who spent years copying ancient texts, only to uncover a little mistake that could change everything. It’s a reminder that even the holiest of tasks can come with a hilarious twist!
The Monastic Misprint
A monk named David had spent years copying ancient religious texts by hand. He worked hard at his job and dedicated himself to upholding his vows to be obedient and celibate and free himself from the desire for possessions.
A devout monk working on religious texts | Source: Midjourney
One day, shortly before Christmas, the head abbot entrusted David with the task of verifying the original manuscripts had been copied and translated precisely, word-for-word.
On Christmas day, David was nowhere to be found. Eventually, the head abbot located him in the archives, crying uncontrollably.
“Brother David, what’s wrong?” the abbot asked.
“All this time… we’ve been copying it wrong,” David sobbed.
“Copying what wrong?” the abbot pressed.
A monk and an abbot looking at religious texts | Source: Midjourney
“The word wasn’t ‘celibate’… it was ‘celebrate’!”
If you thought that last one was divine, the next joke shows us that sometimes family drama isn’t what it appears to be.
The Holiday Season Break-up
The day before Christmas, a father in Brisbane calls his son in Sydney.
“Sorry to ruin your holiday,” the dad says, “but your mother and I are divorcing. I just can’t take it anymore.”
A man making a phone call | Source: Midjourney
Shocked, the son yells, “What? No, don’t do anything until I get there! I’m calling my sister.”
Moments later, the daughter phones her dad, furious. “You are NOT getting divorced! My brother and I will be there tomorrow. Don’t do a single thing!”
The father hangs up and turns to his wife.
A solemn man glancing to one side | Source: Midjourney
He grins widely and tells her, “Well, that’s our Christmas plans sorted. The kids are on their way and they’re paying for their own travel expenses!”
Let’s keep the laughs rolling with a little tale about early Christmas shopping. You know that feeling when you’re just a bit too eager to grab your gifts? Well, this next joke proves that timing is everything — even when it comes to snagging those holiday deals earlier than expected.
The Early Christmas Shopper
A man stands trial during the Christmas season. The judge asks the defendant, “Mr. Jones, what exactly are you accused of doing?”
A judge in a courtroom | Source: Midjourney
“Your honor, I was just doing my Christmas shopping early,” the man says innocently.
“There’s nothing illegal about that,” the judge replies. “What time did you start?”
“Before the store opened.”
A somber man | Source: Midjourney
Time for a trip to the airport, where holiday cheer meets travel stress in the best way possible. Even if you’re not a fan of mistletoe, this next joke might make you look twice before checking in your bags this Christmas season.
Airport Mistletoe Mishap
Dave wasn’t feeling the holiday spirit as he waited at the airport just before Christmas. He noticed some mistletoe hanging above the luggage scale.
Mistletoe at the airport | Source: Midjourney
Annoyed, he told the airline attendant, “Even if we were dating, I wouldn’t kiss you under such tacky mistletoe.”
The attendant smirked, “Sir, that mistletoe isn’t for you to kiss me. It’s there so you can kiss your luggage goodbye.”
Hold onto your Santa hats because this next joke features a kid with a very “creative” approach to getting his Christmas wishes granted.
Man talking to airline attendant at the luggage area | Source: Midjourney
When it comes to writing letters to Santa (or Jesus), this boy takes negotiation tactics to a whole new level.
The Kid’s Christmas Bargain
A little boy starts writing his Christmas letter to Santa, but his mom interrupts him.
“You’ve been so naughty this year,” she scolds. “You’d better write that letter to Jesus instead.”
A child sitting at a table | Source: Midjourney
He thinks for a moment, then begins writing to Jesus, but quickly realizes he can’t lie about being good. Frustrated, he goes for a walk to clear his mind and spots a nativity scene.
Suddenly, he snatches the statue of Mary.
Returning home, he starts his new letter: “Dear Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again…”
From a mischievous kid to a quick-witted teen, our next joke shows that sometimes biblical excuses can go hilariously wrong.
A Christmas nativity scene | Source: Pexels
It’s a classic case of trying to outsmart a parent — only to learn an unexpected lesson.
Long Hair, Don’t Care
After acing his exams and diligently studying the Bible, Danny asks his clergyman father if he can get a car for Christmas.
“You’ve done great with your studies,” his father says. “But I’m disappointed you haven’t cut your hair.”
A teen boy | Source: Midjourney
Danny smiles. “Dad, in the Bible, I noticed that Jesus, Moses, and Samson all had long hair.”
His father nods, “Yes, but did you also notice they walked everywhere?”
And now, let’s end on a high note with a husband who’s in for a surprise of his own while Christmas shopping.
A mall decorated for Christmas | Source: Pexels
Just when he thinks he’s found a sentimental moment, he gets a reality check guaranteed to leave you laughing out loud.
The Husband’s Christmas Misunderstanding
A couple is shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve when the husband realizes he’s lost his wife. Frantic, he calls her.
“Honey,” she says calmly, “do you remember the jewelry store where you saw that expensive watch you loved five years ago? The one I said I’d get you one day?”
A man speaking on his cell phone | Source: Midjourney
His eyes well up. “Yes, I remember.”
“Well,” she replies, “I’m in the lingerie store next to it.”
And there you have it — a sleigh of laughs to brighten your holiday season! Whether you share these jokes at a family dinner or use them to lighten the mood at a holiday party, they’re sure to spread some Christmas cheer.
People at a Christmas party | Source: Midjourney
After all, the best gifts are the ones that bring a smile. So go ahead, share the laughter, and enjoy a merry, jolly, joke-filled Christmas!
For many people, Christmas is a time for family, so keep the laughs coming with these jokes about family life.
Hidden signs in Kate Middleton picture expose bizarre editing
After numerous theories and speculations regarding Kate Middleton’s health and a recent photo of her taken by TMZ, she and William shared a photo of the Princess and her three children on Mother’s Day.
Judging from the photo, Kate is indeed doing well after her surgery in January.
She poses on the patio with Prince George, Princess Charlotte, and Prince Louis surround her. They are all smiling and look absolutely adorable.
“Thank you for your kind wishes and continued support over the last two months. Wishing everyone a Happy Mother’s Day,” the caption on the Prince and Princess of Wales’ official Instagram account read. It was signed “C,” meaning Kate herself had written it.
https://www.instagram.com/p/C4U_IqTNaqU/embed/captioned/?cr=1&v=14&wp=540&rd=https%3A%2F%2Fboreddaddy.com&rp=%2Fhidden-signs-in-kate-middleton-picture-expose-bizarre-editing%2F%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR1xlAcdN5Yf1eYWTYcte01FnsuklvQPkW5WTkT1-T0Da11ApCmc7_Nn3ak#%7B%22ci%22%3A0%2C%22os%22%3A2722.5%2C%22ls%22%3A880.2999999998137%2C%22le%22%3A2712.7000000001863%7D
As expected, the photo was shared worldwide and was picked up but every single media outlet out there.
The comments under the photo came pouring in with a great number of people wishing Kate a speedy recovery.
According to some royal experts, Kate opted to post a photo in order to put a stop to the speculations surrounding her surgery and her recovery.
“They [Kensington Palace] are trying to send a clear message to both the public and the press to respect Kate’s privacy on this medical matter,” royal historian Kate Williams said. “What they’re trying to say is Kate is recovering, she’s fine, no more worries, no more panic, no more speculation.”
She added: “I think the last thing they [Kensington Palace] want is for her to feel she can’t go out and walk in case she’s going to be photographed.”
Shortly after the photo of the happy family was released, some started questioning its authenticity because as they claimed, the photo was obviously edited.
“Professional photographer here. Look closely at Princess Charlotte’s wrist. This is what happens when you composite layers in Photoshop. I’m not speculating on why the photo was edited like this, but it’s weird,” portrait photographer Martin Bamford wrote on X.
Some edit fails, as noticed by experts, were Princess Charlotte’s missing sleeve and blurred skirt and Kate’s misplaced zip.
Others noticed that Kate wasn’t wearing her ring and her hand around Louis was “blurry.” Her wrist and jumper sleeve were also manipulated by photoshop according to many, as well as her chin.
“The more you look at this, the worse it gets. the hands, the fact some parts are so blurry and some so sharp, the way Charlotte is apparently balancing in that position, there is literally a crease in the step, the reflection in the window doesn’t match,” one user wrote on X.
“Not really kept up with this whole conspiracy theory, but this photo is SOO DODGY two of their hands look very weird as if they’re AI generated, and the girls arm has 100% been photoshopped and her skirt also looks weird as f— as well?” another user added, continuing, “but if it’s a real photo – *why* would they edit it so much and so badly? they’re not stupid they would’ve seen all the rumours going about, releasing an awfully edited photo only fuels them.”
Shortly after, The Associated Press, Reuters, Getty Images, and Agence France-Presse all decided to issue “kill notices,” which are advisory notices to remove or not use a specific photo.
“It appears that the source has manipulated the image,” the Associated Press notification read.
They also released a statement, saying, “The Associated Press initially published the photo, which was issued by Kensington Palace. The AP later retracted the image because at closer inspection, it appears that the source had manipulated the image in a way that did not meet AP’s photo standards. The photo shows an inconsistency in the alignment of Princess Charlotte’s left hand.”
Speaking to GB News, Dr Hany Farid, a professor of computer sciences, said the work on Princess Charlotte’s sleeve looked like a “bad Photoshop job.”
“I clearly see what is being referenced here, with respect to her sleeve. It looks like a bad Photoshop job. I know we talk a lot about AI lately but it is still possible to use traditional photo-editing tools,” Farid said. “What you would be worried about here is if Kate wasn’t in this photo and had been digitally inserted. This would be a dramatic manipulation.”
On top of that, Kate not wearing ring fueled the rumors that something isn’t right between her and William.
Kate’s office decided to respond to the rumors by issuing a statement in which they explain that the reason why the Princess doesn’t have the ring on her finger is that she’s at home. They further added that it was William himself who took the photo.
Although the Palace didn’t comment on the edited photo, Kate herself decided to explain why the image had “flaws.”
On her and William’s official X account, she wrote, “Like many amateur photographers, I do occasionally experiment with editing. I wanted to express my apologies for any confusion the family photograph we shared yesterday caused. I hope everyone celebrating had a very happy Mother’s Day. C.”
Kensington Palace has later confirmed it “would not be reissuing the original unedited photograph of Kate and her children.”
According to royal expert Katie Nicholl, the Palace would be under much pressure following the issue with the photo.
“What’s so major in all of this is that four international picture agencies have killed this image. That’s really rare,” Nicholl said.
“I can’t think of a a time since I’ve been doing this job for the best part of 15 years where a royal image has been recalled. So that’s highly unusual. It might force Kensington Palace’s hand.”
On top of the pressure she faces, Kate now has to deal with another “problem” that’s giving her headaches, her uncle’s participation in the reality show Celebrity Big Brother. Since entering the house, he spoke of his niece on several occasions and opened up about Harry and Meghan, too.
“Clearly, whatever’s happened to Catherine, she’s probably feeling fragile – mentally as well. To have a serious setback like this at the prime of your life, it must knock your confidence, and so she’ll be fragile at this stage in her recovery and to have this thrown at her. She must just be thinking, ‘Why, why, why did Uncle Gary have to do this? ‘I imagine she’s thoroughly depressed about it,” royal expert Jennie Bond told the Mirror.
“I think that Gary comes from a good place in his heart. If he talks about her it’s – in his view – to give her side of the story, give her a mouth, a voice, when he knows she can’t off the back of allegations made of her,” Bond added.
“But I think it’s the last thing she’d want – if Catherine or William want to say anything, they will say it. They don’t need anyone else to, least of all someone within their own family – and they don’t have that strong connection anyway.”
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