The hit 1972 sitcom “M*A*S*H” introduced the world to a number of memorable and beloved characters, from the smart-mouthed yet compassionate Captain Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce to his endearing friend, Captain B.J. Hunnicutt. Almost every character had stuck in the minds of the fans.
One of the characters that often featured but was easily overlooked by his military counterparts due to his nervous nature was the 4077 MASH unit’s company clerk, Corporal Walter Eugene “Radar” O’Reilly. Although many of the staff on the base tended to take Radar’s effort for granted, the fans sure noticed him.
Radar was portrayed by the acclaimed actor Gary Burghoff from the start of the TV show in 1972 until the seventh season, which aired in 1979. Although fans clamored for more of the unassuming clerk, Burghoff revealed that he needed to step away from the show to rekindle his personal relationships and fight burnout.
“M*A*S*H’s” Influence and Burghoff’s Personal Identity
Although Burghoff enjoyed playing Radar, the role became increasingly demanding. The actor commented that it became difficult to separate himself from his character in the eyes of the public, which soon became tedious. He also noted that he despised being fawned over by the crowds:
“Aw, I know I’m cute. Cute, cute, CUTE! I was always cute because I was always the smallest kid on the block. I hate cute.”
Everyone saw Burghoff as an adorable, short, timid character as they’d known him on-screen and on the stage for many years. However, after years of being looked down upon, both metaphorically and physically speaking, Burghoff grew tired of the persona so easily attributed to him by scores of people he had never even met.
The actor lashed out against this view of him as a cute little fellow by defending his height. As he so rightly pointed out, 5 feet 6 inches isn’t irregularly short, and he would have seen the tops of Arte Johnson or Mickey Rooney’s heads had they ever met. Nonetheless, the persona stuck.
Luckily for all his fans, Burghoff didn’t let his disability stand in his way, and he pursued his dream of becoming an actor.
Despite his misgivings about how others perceived him, Burghoff’s fellow cast members adored him. The director Charles Dubin recalled working with Burghoff before he left “M*A*S*H,” noting how caring and pleasant Burghoff was to everyone on set. However, Burghoff had another aspect of himself that drove down his self-esteem.
Burghoff had been born with a congenital disability called Brachydactyly, a form of Poland Syndrome. The condition left the actor with three fingers on his left hand that were noticeably smaller than the rest of his digits, and the abnormality had plagued him since he was a small child. The actor commented:
“Of course, this defect affected me while I was growing up. I suppose when I was very young, I knew my disability would set me apart and make me special.”
Luckily for all his fans, Burghoff didn’t let his disability stand in his way, and he pursued his dream of becoming an actor. Yet, becoming a fan-favorite on one of the most iconic TV shows America had ever produced never managed to quell his insecurities about his stout fingers and stocky frame.
Throughout his run on “M*A*S*H,” Burghoff tried to hide his left hand from the camera. He would often position himself so that the camera could only see one side of his body and usually gestured with his right if the scene required it, although the actor would be obligated to use both hands now and again.
In one of the earliest episodes, viewers were introduced to Radar as he stood in an open area, wearing a greyish shirt and his trademark cap. As the actor turned around and looked at the sky — once again hearing approaching helicopters before everyone else — the camera briefly panned over both his hands holding a football.
When Colonel Sherman T. Potter first made his appearance on the show, taking over from the beloved Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake, Radar and the new commander shared a scene where they first met. As Colonel Potter exited the room to find the latrines, the camera centered on Burghoff’s upper body as he opened a box with both hands.
Another infamous scene caught Burghoff with both hands on camera. During a regular morning salute, with the loathsome Major Frank Burns leading the ceremony, Radar does his usual morning salute with a bugle. In a hilarious twist, one of the men fires off the ceremonial canon at Burns’s behest.
Naturally, Radar gets the short end of the stick as the cannonball flies directly at him, knocking his instrument clean out of his hands. In the next few seconds, Burghoff turns toward the camera in a pantomime of rage, balling his fists and stomping in outrage. Here, both his hands can be seen for a brief second.
In one of the later episodes, the writers showed off Radar’s softer side when he cuddled his pet guinea pig, Babette. Naturally, Radar stood with his left hand beneath his right, but just as he started to sing, Father John Mulcahy called for him. Burghoff’s hands were visible again as he put the Babette away.
One of the scenes where Burghoff openly showed his left hand came as part of another gag the show pulled. At the start of the scene, Radar could be seen walking across a dirt road while two other military personnel walked away from the camera. The man on Radar’s right first lifted his hand in salute, followed shortly by one on the left.
Radar, the pleasant character he was, lifted his right hand in response to the first salute, as military etiquette dictates. Caught off guard by the quick second salute, Radar lifted his left hand as well, essentially performing a double salute. Feeling sheepish, he frowned and lowered his hands slowly in one of Burghoff’s classic displays of confusion.
An Air Vent Cover in the Bathroom Fell Off — I Tried to Fix It Without Waiting for My Husband, but Discovered His Secret Instead
When Ruth’s bathroom vent cover falls off, she thinks it’s a quick fix — until her husband’s panicked text warns her to stay away. Suspicious and unable to resist, she peers inside. What she finds shatters her trust and sets the stage for a shocking revelation.
A week ago, I nearly divorced the love of my life. It all started with an air vent cover in our bathroom, and the strange items my husband had hidden behind it.
A man glancing over his shoulder suspiciously while entering a bathroom | Source: Midjourney
Roger was out of town helping his mom recover from surgery.
I was just having a relaxing Saturday afternoon, lounging on the couch in my comfy pants. I was scrolling through my phone and thinking about ordering takeout when I heard this weird clatter from the bathroom.
When I went to check it out, I discovered the air vent cover had fallen right off the wall. Typical, right? The one weekend my handy husband is away, something breaks.
A woman standing in a bathroom holding an air vent cover | Source: Midjourney
I figured I could handle a simple repair job myself. I mean, how hard could it be to screw a vent cover back on? So I texted Roger to ask which tools I’d need.
What happened next still gives me chills when I think about it.
His response came back almost instantly: “NO! Don’t you dare touch that vent or look inside it. Never.”
I stared at my phone, reading the message over and over, my heart starting to race.
A woman staring at her phone with a concerned frown | Source: Midjourney
Let me tell you something about my husband: in our ten years of marriage, Roger had never spoken to me like that. Not once.
He was always gentle, always patient, even when I accidentally shrunk his favorite sweater in the dryer or backed into his car in the driveway. This forceful tone set off all kinds of alarm bells in my head.
What could possibly be in that vent that would make him react this way?
A woman staring at her phone in shock | Source: Midjourney
“Roger, what’s going on?” I texted back, my hands shaking slightly.
I kept thinking about all those true crime podcasts I listen to while cleaning the house. You know them.
Those little dots that show when someone is typing popped up. I watched them for what seemed like the longest time, but when he replied, the message was unexpectedly short.
“Just leave it alone until I get home, okay? Please?”
A woman glancing to one side while frowning | Source: Midjourney
What would you have done? Because I did not know what to make of this situation. I paced around the house, trying to distract myself with TV shows and books, but my eyes kept drifting toward the bathroom door.
That vent was like a black hole, pulling at my attention until I couldn’t think about anything else.
After an hour of internal debate (and maybe a glass of wine for courage), I couldn’t take it anymore.
A woman with a determined look on her face | Source: Midjourney
I grabbed my phone and walked to the bathroom, my heart pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears.
You guys, I wish I could tell you I was just being paranoid. I really do. But what I found… well, let’s just say my imagination hadn’t gone far enough.
Using my phone’s flashlight, I peered inside the vent. What I saw made my blood run cold: a small bag of white powder, a pair of latex gloves, and, the most shocking item of all, a knife.
A woman staring ahead with a shocked look | Source: Midjourney
I stumbled backward, nearly dropping my phone, my mind immediately jumping from one shocking conclusion to the next.
“Oh God, oh God,” I whispered to myself, sliding down to sit on the bathroom floor.
You know that feeling when your whole world tilts sideways and everything you thought you knew suddenly seems like a lie? That’s where I was at that moment.
My mind raced through possibilities, each worse than the last. Was Roger involved in something illegal? Dangerous? Had I been living with a stranger all these years?
A woman with one hand pressed against her cheek | Source: Midjourney
I spent the next few hours in a daze, questioning everything I thought I knew about my marriage.
The man who brought me coffee in bed every Sunday morning. The guy who cried during dog food commercials. The same person who once spent three hours helping our elderly neighbor search for her lost cat in the rain. How could he be involved in something sinister?
Here’s where things get really intense.
A worried woman staring ahead | Source: Midjourney
After careful consideration, I decided against calling the police. I needed answers first. I drove to my lawyer’s office and had her draw up divorce papers.
Real talk: I’ve never felt more scared and alone than I did sitting in that sterile office, watching her print out those documents.
But if Roger couldn’t explain this satisfactorily (and let’s be honest, what reasonable excuse could possibly explain THE KNIFE in our air vent), I needed to be prepared.
A woman seated at a desk in a lawyer’s office | Source: Midjourney
When he finally walked through the door that evening, I was standing in the living room, divorce papers clutched in my trembling hands. He immediately noticed something was wrong and rushed over to me, his face full of concern.
Looking back now, I should have seen the genuine worry in his eyes, but at the moment, I was too wrapped up in my own fears.
“What’s wrong, Ruth? Why are you upset?” he asked, reaching for my hands.
A man looking at someone with concern | Source: Midjourney
I threw the papers onto the coffee table.
“Don’t play dumb, Roger. I found something in the air vent. What the heck is all that stuff? The knife? The powder? The gloves?” My voice cracked on the last word, and I hated how vulnerable I sounded.
His face went through a series of emotions: shock, understanding, and then… was that relief? He ran his hands through his hair, a nervous habit I’d always found endearing. Now it just made me more anxious.
A man running his hands through his hair | Source: Midjourney
“I know this looks bad. I really do, but it’s not what you think,” he said, his voice shaking. “I never meant for you to find out like this. It’s… it’s for your birthday.”
“What?” I blinked hard, certain I’d misheard him. “My birthday? What does that have to do with a knife, gloves, and powder in our air vent?”
He sighed deeply. “I’ve been planning something for you. Something special. I didn’t want you to know yet, but now you’ve found it, so I have no choice but to tell you the truth.”
A man with a serious look on his face | Source: Midjourney
He gently squeezed my hands as he continued. “I rented a part of the neighbor’s garden to grow 101 roses for your birthday.”
“You what?” I interrupted, completely thrown off guard.
Of all the scenarios I’d imagined (and believe me, I’d imagined some dark ones), this hadn’t even made the list.
“I knew it would be too expensive to buy that many flowers, especially after the expenses with my mom’s surgery. So, I decided to grow them myself.”
A man glancing to one side | Source: Midjourney
“The knife is for pruning,” he explained, “the gloves for handling the plants, and the powder is a special fertilizer I’ve been using to make sure they grow just right. I’ve been watching YouTube videos for months trying to learn how to do this properly.”
I stood there, mouth hanging open as relief and embarrassment washed over me in equal measure.
All those horrible scenarios I’d imagined, and the truth was that my husband was secretly growing me roses?
A woman staring in surprise | Source: Midjourney
“I hid everything in the vent because it’s the one place you never look,” he explained, a small smile playing on his lips. “And I’ve been sneaking over to the neighbor to care for them during my evening walks. I wanted it to be a surprise. You always said you loved the scene in ‘101 Dalmatians’ where he gives her all those flowers, so I thought…”
I burst into tears, caught between laughing and crying. “I thought you were doing something criminal! I was ready to divorce you!”
An emotional woman speaking to someone | Source: Midjourney
The absurdity of the situation hit me all at once, and I couldn’t stop the hysterical giggles that bubbled up.
Roger pulled me into his arms, and I could feel him shaking with suppressed laughter.
“Only you would jump to that conclusion, Ruth. Only you.”
“Well, what was I supposed to think?” I mumbled into his chest. “You were being so weird about it! And who hides things in an air vent? That’s, like, serial killer behavior!”
We spent the rest of the evening talking about how stress and poor communication had led to this ridiculous situation.
A couple having a conversation | Source: Midjourney
As we lay in bed that night, I turned to him and said, “You know, you could have just hidden all that stuff in the garage. We have about fifty boxes you never open out there, and I never scratch around in them either.”
“Yeah,” he chuckled, “but then you would’ve wondered why I was sneaking into the garage!”
I threw a pillow at his head, but he was right.
A woman grabbing a pillow | Source: Pexels
“So, when can I see all these roses you’ve been tenderly caring for?” I asked.
“On your birthday! You may have uncovered my secret, but that doesn’t mean you get a sneak peek.”
I fell asleep that night with a smile on my face, looking forward to my birthday with a level of anticipation I hadn’t felt since I was a child.
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