
I grew up believing that my father blamed me for my mother’s death but the truth was heartbreaking.
I never knew my mother, and my father never spoke about her. All I knew was that she had been very beautiful, because of the picture that hung on my father’s study wall, and that she had died very young.
My father was a sad man, a quiet and distant man. I wanted him to notice me, and to love me, but he never did. He rarely spoke to me beyond the perfunctory hello and goodbye, good morning and goodnight. I would have given anything for him to sweep me into his arms and tell me he loved me.

The shadow of my mother’s death followed me my whole life | Source: Shutterstock.com
This strange and strained relationship with my father continued until I was 18, and by then I was a sad and lonely young woman who believed my father hated me. If my father didn’t love me, who would?
But the answer to all my questions was about to be delivered in the most painful and cruel way. My father was hosting a party for his business associates, and among them was a woman whom I knew slightly.
If you don’t leave the past behind you, you deny yourself a future.
I had the feeling that she and my father had a past together — or at least that she wished they did. She greeted me and we started chatting — inconsequential talk about nothing special — and my father walked by.
I gave him my best smile, but he immediately glanced away. The woman saw it all. “Do you know why?” she asked.

I grew up feeling that my father hated me | Source: Unsplash
“Why what?” I asked, confused.
“Why he hates you,” she said.
“My father doesn’t hate me!” I exclaimed. “He’s just not a very demonstrative man.”
“So you don’t know…” she smiled. It was the ugliest smile I’d ever seen. I was about to walk away when she said, “He believes you killed your mother, Karen.”

One day at a party someone told me the truth | Source: Unsplash
I stopped in my tracks. “What?” I gasped.
“Your mother died giving birth to you, surely you know that?” she said.
“No…” I answered. “No, I didn’t know.” I turned my back on her and went looking for my grandmother, my father’s mother, the woman who’d raised me and never told me about my mother’s death.
“How did my mother die?” I asked her angrily. “Was it in childbirth?”

My mother had died in childbirth | Source: Pexels
My grandmother shook her head. “Please Karen, your father asked me never to speak of this with you.”
“I have the right to know about my own mother!” I cried. “I have the right to know why my father hates me!”
Then a quiet angry voice behind me said, “I don’t hate you, Karen, but your mother’s death is none of your business:”
I turned to face my father. “My mother’s death is none of my business? You’re wrong! I killed her, didn’t I? That’s what you think each time you look at me!”

My father blamed me for her death | Source: Unsplash
The expression in his eyes sent me running out of the door. I got into my car and drove aimlessly, tears running down my face. In my distress, I didn’t see the oncoming car changing lanes until it was too late.
I woke up in the hospital linked to a beeping machine, with a dull promise of pain twinging through my whole body. Sitting by my side and holding my hand was my father.
“Karen,” he said softly, “Thank God you’re alright!”
“Daddy…” I whispered, “you’re here!”
Tears came into his eyes. “Of course I’m here. I don’t hate you, Karen. I love you. And I don’t blame you for your mother’s death, I blame myself. When your mom and I married we were very poor.
“All we had were dreams and our love for each other. Then she fell pregnant and I took on a second job. I knew we’d need the money when you came along. I was working 16-hour days and she spent a lot of time alone.
“So one day when I came home she wasn’t there. A neighbor had taken her to the hospital. When I got there it was all over. Your mother had died, and I hadn’t been there for her.

The accident nearly cost me my life | Source: Pexels
“I didn’t blame you, Karen, I blamed myself. I was determined I wasn’t going to fail you the way I’d failed her, so I threw myself into my work, and I became a rich man.
“Daddy, how could you blame yourself?” I asked. “There was nothing you could have done!”
“I could have been there, holding her hand the way I’m holding yours now,” he said.
“But daddy…” I hesitated, “you were always so angry with me, so cold. You ran away from me.”

My father and I were reconciled | Source: Unsplash
“Karen, you look just like your mother, and each time I looked at you, my heart was torn apart by grief and guilt. It took nearly losing you to make me realize what I’d done. I love you.”
For the first time in my life, my father put his arms around me and showed me that he loved me. It was a new beginning for both of us, and I like to believe my mother was smiling down from heaven.
What can we learn from this story?
- If you don’t leave the past behind you, you deny yourself a future. Karen’s father was so lost in his pain that he nearly lost the opportunity to have a wonderful relationship with his daughter.
- The truth can heal old wounds and open the way to a new beginning. It was only after Karen and her father spoke about their estrangement that they could move past their misunderstandings.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about a man who left his widowed mother homeless.
This account is inspired by our reader’s story but written by a professional writer. All names have been changed to protect identities and ensure privacy. Share your story with us, maybe it will change someone’s life.
This woman only ate one piece of bread a day for 5 years – but look at her now

Despite efforts to accept ourselves at any size and more realistic-looking models in advertisements, a large number of people worldwide suffer from eating disorders on a daily basis.
A Derbyshire lady who overcame anorexia has shared her experience in the hopes that it would support others experiencing similar difficulties.
Annie Windley weighed just 29 kg, or slightly more than four and a half stone, at her heaviest. She was in danger of having a heart attack because of her low weight.

The 21-year-old Woolley Moor resident has been battling anorexia for more than five years, during which time she has required extensive care, medical therapy, and multiple hospital stays. Annie, on the other hand, is in great shape and has recovered thanks to her passion of jogging. In October of last year, I ran the Chesterfield Half Marathon.
She said, “I had the happy awareness that the process of rehabilitation is amazing and should be exhilarating, remarkable, and amazing.
I suppose my anorexia will always be a part of me, even though I’ve learned to manage it and get over my obsession with eating. “It is never too late to make a positive change.”
Annie was first diagnosed with an eating disorder in 2012. When her recuperation finally began two years later, she faced numerous challenges, including being sectioned and experiencing uncontrollably rapid weight loss.
In October of 2017, I began battling more fiercely than I had ever done before; she went on, “I can’t say exactly what occurred, but this time, it was just for myself.”

The battle was amazing; every day was filled with agonizing emotions and remarkable bravery. I’m at my heaviest since 2014 after gaining three stone in the last four months.
Annie claims that she gained the realization that a person’s actions, their mannerisms toward others, and their degree of kindness matter more than their physical stature. According to her, these are the things that truly matter in life.
“These are the things that are essential to you and will bring you happiness.” Rather than organizing your entire day around eating or worrying about how to restrict, use that time to focus on something that matters to people.

Be a kind friend and daughter, make jokes, and engage in conversation with them. Exercise is typically believed to enhance mental health, and Annie is no different. Her passion for running gave her something to strive for, helped her heal, and kept her on course.
Her recuperation was aided by her participation in Chesterfield’s yearly half marathon. She ran the kilometers during her training, putting in a great deal of work and determination to complete the difficult course.
I use my morning run as an opportunity to remind myself of how fleeting and important life is. I can live a more flexible, free life now that I’m well.

I’m fortunate to have strong legs and a pounding heart, so I don’t waste time worrying about meals or watching calories. Exercise is a celebration of what your body is capable of, not a way to make up for what you ate.
“Pay attention to your desire to succeed and your excitement for where you want to go.” Annie claimed that all she had ever done was avoid meals like pizza and chocolate because the voices in her head turned them into numbers and percentage signs.
She has thankfully altered her viewpoint and offers guidance to those who have similar views.

There are bad days when you think recovery isn’t for you, feel “fat,” and lack the desire to eat. However, that is the very reason we have to continue.
We have to demonstrate to our disorders our ability to do so. We don’t want to spent our entire lives regretting and feeling sad about the things our anorexia prevented us from accomplishing.
Watch the video below to see her entire story:
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