A little girl tells her mom: “Mommy, a funny lady came to visit while you were at work”. Mommy replies: “Not right now. Let’s wait for Daddy to come home”. So they wait, and when Daddy arrives, Mommy asks: “Okay, sweetheart, what were you saying about Daddy and the funny lady?”
Daddy starts to speak, but Mommy cuts him off. “You be quiet. I’ll talk to my lawyer in the morning. Go ahead, dear.” The little girl continues: “Daddy told me to stay downstairs while he and the lady went upstairs, but I followed them without him knowing. I saw them hugging and laughing at the top of the stairs.
Then they went into your bedroom and closed the door, but I peeked through the keyhole”. “Good job, sweetie”, Mommy says with a smile. “What did you see?” “I saw them hugging and laughing some more.”
“And then what happened?” Mommy asks. The little girl answers proudly: “Then they did what you and Uncle Jack did last summer when Daddy went to Vancouver!”
So I am at Walmart scanning and bagging my almost $300 worth of groceries while the employee that wants $15 an hour “monitors” and then this happened.
So I am at Walmart scanning and bagging my almost $300
So I am at Walmart scanning and bagging my almost $300 worth of groceries while the employee that wants $15 an hour “monitors” and then this happened.
Her – why are you double bagging all of your groceries?
Me – excuse me?
Her – you are wasting our bags!
Me – if you don’t like the way I’m bagging the groceries, feel free to come on over here and bag them yourself.
Her – that’s not my job!
Me – okay, then I will bag my groceries how I please if that’s all right with you.
Her – why are you using two bags?!
Me – because the bags are weak and I don’t want the handles to break or the bottoms to rip out.
Her – well that’s because you are putting too much stuff in the bag. If you took half of that stuff out and put it in a different bag then you wouldn’t need to double bag.
*10 seconds of me just staring at her.
Me – so you want me to split these items in half and put half of them in a different bag so that I don’t have to double bag.
Her – exactly.
Me – so I would still be using two bags to hold the same number of items.
Her – no because you wouldn’t be double bagging.
*me pressing two fingers to my left eye in an attempt to make it stop twitching.
Me – okay so here I have a jug of milk and a bottle of juice double bagged. If I take the milk out and remove the double bagging and just put the milk in the single bag and the juice in that single bag I’m still using two bags for these two items.
Her- no because you are not double bagging them so it’s not the same number of bags.
*me looking around at about 10 other customers who at this point are enjoying the show.
Me- is this like that Common Core math stuff I keep hearing about?
Her- never mind you just don’t get it.
And with that, she went back to her little Podium so she could continue texting or playing games on her phone or whatever it was she was doing before she decided to come over and critique my bagging skills.
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