Sadie and Jarvis Sampson tried for years to have a baby, using every method they could think of. They eventually accepted that they might only ever be an aunt and uncle. Then, one day, they got a text that changed their lives completely.
The couple had been trying to get pregnant since they got married in January 2018, but when it didn’t happen on its own, they tried everything else.
“We used ovulation tests, took prenatal vitamins, tracked cycles with apps, and used fertility monitors,” the Houston mom told Love What Matters.
“We even tried advice from friends, family, and strangers. For 14 months, we tried, prayed, and waited. Month after month, it was always a negative pregnancy test. It seemed like we might need help to conceive, so we even talked to doctors about it.”
Doctors didn’t offer much help to the couple. They mostly told Sadie to lose weight to improve her chances of getting pregnant. With no other advice, she had gastric surgery and lost 28 pounds.
Sadie’s OBGYN was excited about the weight loss and praised her for it.
“She told me that if I wasn’t pregnant within six months, she would refer me to a fertility specialist because she couldn’t prescribe fertility medication herself,” Sadie said. “I was thrilled! We finally got a positive step forward, even if it wasn’t immediate. We were excited about the progress.”
Unfortunately, the couple didn’t get pregnant after Sadie lost the weight, and they felt like they were back where they started.
“I always felt like I was meant to be a mother,” Sadie said. “Even though my surgeon warned me that I’d be very fertile after the surgery, I still wasn’t getting pregnant. So, we gave up and accepted that we might just be aunt and uncle to our nieces and godparents to our goddaughters.”
Just when the couple had decided to stop trying to have a baby, Sadie got a text from a friend asking if they would think about fostering a baby from a couple she knew.
At first, the couple was hesitant because they were told by a caseworker to take care of the baby while the birth mom was getting treatment. They worried they might get too attached. But then, the situation changed.
“The birth mom has decided she wants you to adopt the baby instead,” the caseworker said.
Sadie remembered saying, “‘Holy crap!!’ out loud when she found out she was going to be a mom.
“We went from having no kids to possibly fostering one, to suddenly being told, ‘You’re going to be parents!’ I was still in shock as I listened to the caseworker. I hung up and called my husband, shouting, ‘Babe!! They want us to adopt the baby! We’re going to be parents!’ He said, ‘Wait! REALLY?! I thought they just wanted us to foster him!’ I told him, ‘Nope! They want us to be his mom and dad.’”
The couple spent the weekend trying to take in the shocking news and getting ready, just in case the birth mom changed her mind.
By Monday, they were not only told that the birth mom still wanted them to adopt the baby, but she also wanted to do an independent adoption and was ready to sign the papers that day.
Their baby boy was born at just 33 weeks, which is seven weeks early. He weighed 4 lbs. 5 oz. “He was so tiny, he literally fit in one of my husband’s hands,” Sadie wrote.
“He was wrapped in a white blanket with pink and blue stripes,” Sadie said. “He had a small tube coming out of his nose because he couldn’t eat on his own since he was born early. But he was so cute!!!”
The couple shared their news on social media and were encouraged to create a registry. They listed 72 items, and within just three days, 55 of them were already bought for them.
Ezra Lee’s adoption was finalized in October 2020, and the couple had adorable family photos taken, all wearing t-shirts that said, “Families don’t have to match.”
In 2021, Sadie and Jarvis became parents to twin girls, Journee and Destinee, through embryo donation. True to their family motto, “Families don’t have to match,” the Black couple now has three white children – a boy and two girls.
For anyone who might judge their beautiful family, they have just one response: their family is built on the strongest foundation ever – love.
I know what you’re thinking, but here’s the correct answer
Falling in love is a magical experience. It’s filled with excitement, butterflies, and a deep desire to make the best impression on the person we adore. In those early stages, we often tweak our behavior, carefully curating how we present ourselves. Something as simple as avoiding lollipops—fearing it may make us seem childish—symbolizes this phase of self-conscious love.
However, as a relationship matures, especially after marriage, things change. The need to impress fades, and the comfort of unconditional acceptance sets in. That once-hidden love for lollipops (or any quirky habit) resurfaces, representing a return to one’s true self.
Why Do We Hide Our True Selves in the Beginning?
When we first start dating, we unknowingly step into a highlight reel version of ourselves. We filter our habits, polish our words, and refine our actions to seem more attractive. But why?
1. The Desire to Impress
At the start of a relationship, we want to be seen in the best light. Whether it’s dressing perfectly, avoiding certain foods, or hiding silly habits, we make an effort to be someone our partner will admire.
2. Fear of Being Judged
We all have quirks—maybe you love collecting action figures, singing off-key in the shower, or eating candy like a child. But in the early stages, there’s a fear that revealing too much too soon could push the other person away.
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3. Society’s Expectations
Romantic relationships, especially new ones, are often shaped by social norms and expectations. Acting “mature” or “refined” seems like the right thing to do, even if it means suppressing natural instincts like enjoying a simple lollipop.
How Marriage Changes Everything
Marriage is not just about love; it’s about comfort, trust, and deep acceptance. Once you’ve committed to each other for life, the need to impress fades, and true personalities begin to shine.
1. The Comfort of Being Yourself
In a long-term relationship, you stop overthinking every action. You no longer worry if eating candy makes you seem childish, if watching cartoons is immature, or if wearing pajamas all day is unattractive. You embrace your true self because you know your partner loves you for who you are, not for the polished version you once presented.
2. Love Shifts from Attraction to Connection
Attraction may have sparked the relationship, but emotional connection sustains it. What makes a marriage strong is genuine companionship, built on shared experiences and authenticity. That means letting your guard down—whether that’s laughing at silly jokes, dancing like no one’s watching, or, yes, eating that lollipop with pride.
3. Unconditional Acceptance
Real love isn’t about impressing; it’s about accepting. Marriage teaches you that your quirks, habits, and imperfections are what make you unique—and those are often the things your partner grows to love the most.
The Evolution of Love: From Perfection to Authenticity
Every relationship goes through stages of transformation. The love that starts with perfection-seeking gradually matures into comfort-driven authenticity.
Stage 1: The “Best Behavior” Phase
In the beginning, you avoid anything that might make you seem less attractive or mature. You wear your best clothes, avoid messy foods, and pretend you don’t binge-watch cartoons.
Stage 2: The Gradual Unveiling
As you get more comfortable, little pieces of the real you start slipping out. Maybe you start eating lollipops in front of your partner, or you admit to loving cheesy romance novels. You test the waters to see if they still find you charming despite your quirks.
Stage 3: The Marriage Comfort Zone
By the time you’re married, there’s no need for facades. You eat what you want, laugh as loudly as you please, and fully embrace your unique personality. Your partner loves you for all of it—including the quirks you once tried to hide.
What This Teaches Us About True Love
1. You Deserve to Be Loved for Who You Are
If you feel the need to hide parts of yourself to keep someone interested, they may not be the right person for you. The right relationship allows you to be yourself from the start.
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2. Authenticity Leads to Deeper Connections
Love isn’t about pretending to be perfect—it’s about being real, raw, and vulnerable. The more you embrace your true self, the stronger your bond will be.
3. The Best Relationships Feel Like Home
In a lasting love story, your partner becomes your safe space—the person with whom you can be 100% yourself. If eating lollipops brings you joy, they won’t just accept it; they’ll probably buy you a lifetime supply.
Final Thoughts: Love is About Being Yourself
At the start of a relationship, it’s natural to want to impress, but true love is about acceptance, not perfection. The shift from hiding small quirks to embracing them openly is a sign of a healthy, growing relationship.
So, if you ever hesitated to eat a lollipop because you were afraid of being judged—go ahead and unwrap it now. If you’re with the right person, they’ll love watching you enjoy it.
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