Her Mom Never Wanted a Daughter & She Was Made to Believe She Was Ugly — Now She’s a TV Star Once Listed Among the Most Beautiful People

For someone who was called “fatso” and had no intention of becoming a famous Hollywood star, this actress has certainly made a name for herself. After her breakout role, she garnered so much attention that she earned a special accolade.

This actress once revealed that her mother never wanted a daughter, and she grew up sheltered because of her strict father. Despite being bullied and called ugly, she eventually found peace and married the love of her life.

What was Her Childhood like?

In her memoir, “This Is Just My Face: Try Not To Stare,” the actress wrote about her childhood and mother, who she confirmed during an interview in 2017 still sang in subways.

The actress’ mother had been a teacher at her school until the fourth grade. Originally from the southern state of Georgia, her mom then took a sabbatical and started singing in the subway.

Her mother realized she could make more money performing than working for the Board of Education and decided to stick with it. The celebrity recalled her mother taking her and her brother to the subway, where she would sing for around five hours.

The actress remembered sitting on a bench within eyesight or earshot, doing her homework or reading books. Her mother performed at New York City’s Penn Station while she wandered around the station or visited a nearby bookstore.

At the bookstore, she was allowed to pull books off the shelves and read without paying. She suspected they permitted this because they knew her mother. Every now and then, she’d ask her mother for money to buy a new “Clue” book or the latest “Nancy Drew.”

Her mother always gave her the money, encouraging her to focus on reading. On the other hand, her father was very strict. He was from Senegal, studied architecture in France, and later became a cab driver when he moved to New York.

The actress shared that both her parents spanked her growing up, but she rejected labeling it as abuse, even when directly challenged. She emphasized that people often interpret others’ experiences through their own lens.

For her, spanking was a culturally rooted form of discipline common in communities of color, not an act of cruelty. She explained that her father’s upbringing in Africa, where safety and community were stable, shaped his beliefs about discipline.

After moving to Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn—a much more dangerous environment—he felt strong discipline was necessary to protect his children. Although it took years for father and daughter to fully understand each other, she never considered him abusive, especially seeing how relaxed he became with his younger children later.

She recalled a tender memory of her father carefully granting her small bits of independence, such as letting her fetch the mail while he watched closely from the doorway.

He would warn her against using the staircase, fearing for her safety, and waited to hear her shout from the elevator when she entered it out of his view. Ironically, her brother, who was only 11 months older, had far more independence. Unfortunately, part of her childhood also involved bullying.

Life’s Harsh Realities

When she turned six, the actress, who was raised in Harlem, started noticing what other children said about her. She spoke about the bullying she endured at that age regarding her weight, “You know, it’s, like, that weird thing where, like, I realize this thing about myself – I’m not magic, so now I have to pick you apart. And I have to pick myself apart.”

The star added, “And I think that was the age where people started calling me Fatso and you-this and you-that, blah, blah blah. That’s what helped me to notice.” In her book, she wrote about praying in the fourth grade for God to make her less sensitive because of how badly she was mocked.

At that time, her parents’ marriage was crumbling; they separated when she was 12, leaving her feeling “unhinged.” She recalled crying for hours and experiencing tightness in her chest when someone said something hurtful.

Panic attacks made breathing difficult, and she sometimes felt like she might die. Noticing that she could cry for up to three hours during school, she began praying about her sensitivity, unaware she was dealing with a medical condition.

The actress battled depression and anxiety unnoticed throughout elementary and junior high school. The issues persisted into high school, with the panic attacks intensifying during her commute to school.

After transferring schools, her struggles worsened, and she realized her issues were not just about being bullied for her weight. She eventually sought medical help and spoke about her struggles.

The actress on "Saturday Night Live" on April 24, 2010 | Source: Getty Images

The actress on “Saturday Night Live” on April 24, 2010 | Source: Getty Images

Another painful memory was the rejection she felt from her mother. She recalled, “My mom always told me that she never wanted to have a daughter.” The star acknowledged how harsh that sounded but explained it prepared her for understanding that “being a Black woman was not going to be easy. That’s what my mom told me.”

Her mother believed having a daughter was hard because girls lead difficult lives. The actress said, “Those were the first lessons I got about being a Black woman. Today, as an adult, I would really like to erase that narrative from my life.” Despite these challenges, stardom found her.

The star on "Saturday Night Live" | Source: Getty Images

The star on “Saturday Night Live” | Source: Getty Images

Becoming an Actress and Getting Hate

By 2010, the actress had become a well-known celebrity, staying in luxurious hotel suites for interviews. That year, she was based in the UK for the London Film Festival. She confessed that she hadn’t planned for the life she now had.

Just two years earlier, at 24, she was working as a receptionist to support her psychology studies in college when she auditioned for a film on a whim. She had just enrolled for her third year when she auditioned. Her resume listed only three minor college theater roles, yet she secured the lead role in “Precious.”

Andy Samberg and his co-star on "Saturday Night Live" | Source: Getty Images

Andy Samberg and his co-star on “Saturday Night Live” | Source: Getty Images

She canceled her classes to star in the film, which became a breakout hit at Sundance in early 2009. The movie received three Golden Globe nominations, including Best Actress for Gabourey Sidibe, along with an Academy Award nomination.

After her nomination, a famous radio host went on air, claiming it was an anomaly. He alleged that Sidibe’s Hollywood peers were only “pretending” she was one of them and said she would never act again because of her weight.

Kristen Wiig and Gabourey Sidibe on "Saturday Night Live" | Source: Getty Images

Kristen Wiig and Gabourey Sidibe on “Saturday Night Live” | Source: Getty Images

The star shared that she had never dreamed of becoming an actress and felt overwhelmed by the film’s success. She explained that she has a neutral accent, stating, “I don’t have what we call the blackccent.”

However, despite no formal acting training, she recognized that her character would have an accent, so she deepened her voice to fit the role. Part of her Hollywood success came from her hustle and hard work.

Gabourey Sidibe at the "Our Idiot Brother" screening in New York on August 22, 2011 | Source: Getty Images

Gabourey Sidibe at the “Our Idiot Brother” screening in New York on August 22, 2011 | Source: Getty Images

Despite two psychics predicting fame for her, Sidibe never believed she would gain the same recognition as her Hollywood idols. Today, she excels both in front of and behind the camera, although her journey also included a significant decision regarding her health.

Gabourey Sidibe at the "Win Win" screening party in New York on March 16, 2011 | Source: Getty Images

Gabourey Sidibe at the “Win Win” screening party in New York on March 16, 2011 | Source: Getty Images

Going Under the Knife

In May 2016, after enduring bullying and struggling with weight loss, Sidibe underwent laparoscopic bariatric surgery. She made the decision after she and her brother were diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.

The actress did the procedure because she didn’t want to worry about the effects that come with having diabetes. She explained, “I genuinely [would] worry all the time about losing my toes.”

Gabourey Sidibe at the 13th premiere and after party of the New York Film Festival Opening Night Gala on September 30, 2016 | Source: Getty Images

Gabourey Sidibe at the 13th premiere and after party of the New York Film Festival Opening Night Gala on September 30, 2016 | Source: Getty Images

Sidibe expressed frustration that people assumed they cared more about her health than she did. “But I care more than anybody really knows. Of course I care. It’s been my body my whole life, and I didn’t want to be afraid anymore. And I’ve been feeling like that for some time,” she said.

Even after surgery, she continued to obsess over her body, eating habits, and weight. However, she learned to trust herself and embraced the mantra “faith over fear,” understanding that her decisions were personal.

Gabourey Sidibe at the 27th Annual Beat the Odds ceremony in Los Angeles on December 7, 2017 | Source: Getty Images

Gabourey Sidibe at the 27th Annual Beat the Odds ceremony in Los Angeles on December 7, 2017 | Source: Getty Images

Initially, she weighed herself five or six times daily, tracking natural fluctuations. Eventually, she stopped that behavior and now weighs herself every two weeks or whenever she feels the need.

For the first 17 days post-surgery, Sidibe consumed only liquids and became depressed. However, by 2017, she was following meal plans, eating five times a day, cooking, consulting her nutritionist, and using apps to log her meals.

Gabourey Sidibe at the NAACP Image Awards in Los Angeles on February 11, 2017 | Source: Getty Images

Gabourey Sidibe at the NAACP Image Awards in Los Angeles on February 11, 2017 | Source: Getty Images

She also became more active, using her Apple Watch to track her movements. The actress had tricycles both at her Los Angeles home and on set in Chicago, riding them during lunch breaks.

She revealed that she felt stronger, more mobile, and no longer feared losing her toes. After her breakout role in “Precious,” she was featured in People magazine’s World’s Most Beautiful issue, an honor she called “really dope!”

Gabourey Sidibe at the Variety Cannes Lions Studio at the Cannes Lions Festival in France on June 21, 2017 | Source: Getty Images

Gabourey Sidibe at the Variety Cannes Lions Studio at the Cannes Lions Festival in France on June 21, 2017 | Source: Getty Images

Still, Sidibe acknowledged that she likely would not have been included if she weren’t an actress. She pointed out that such lists typically feature celebrities, not regular people.

While she believes she’s beautiful—crediting her parents for her features—she often doubts whether others genuinely see her that way. “Other than my very obvious beautiful [expletive] features, like my cheekbones, my skin-tone? Get out of here. Gorgeous!” she said, affirming her self-worth with humor.

The actress admitted that she spent much of her life hearing she was ugly, both from outsiders and within her own community. Even after being named one of the Most Beautiful at 26, internalizing that recognition was difficult.

Decades of negative conditioning weren’t easily undone, even by career success. Though she now believes in her own beauty, she remains skeptical of outside praise.

“Yeah, I’m beautiful, but I’m not convinced that you’re convinced of that,” she said. Sidibe described her beauty as something deeply personal: “My beauty is like my own secret in this way.” She explained that maintaining confidence is a daily practice, not a permanent achievement.

Confidence, for her, is like applying lipstick—it needs daily renewal. High heels, a good hairstyle, intelligence, friends, and humor all contribute to her sense of self-worth. For Sidibe, confidence isn’t automatic; it’s something she cultivates consciously. Despite her size, she enjoys photo shoots and embraces her body.

Accepting Herself and Fighting for Others

Sidibe once said about photo shoots, “I feel like a model. It justifies everyone in my life who told me I wouldn’t be anything until I lost weight.” It also justified the little girl who cried, thinking she didn’t belong in front of a camera.

However, reaching that confidence took time, only happening around age 21. She recalled becoming tired of letting others define her worth. Lee Daniels, the director of “Precious,” had high praise for her.

He said, “[Gabby] may be in a state of denial or on a higher plane than the rest of us, but either way, she breaks your heart in the movie.” Responding to his comment, she stated, “I was like, ‘What the hell? I’m in denial?’ No, I know what I look like. I’m very much aware.”

When asked where her confidence came from, she explained, “It came from me.” She added, “One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl.”

Sidibe said what helps her is wearing the colors she loves and the makeup that makes her feel pretty. Advising others struggling with self-image, she said, “It doesn’t have anything to do with how the world perceives you. What matters is what you see. Your body is your temple, it’s your home, and you must decorate it.”

In 2021, she partnered with the Child Mind Institute and its May Mental Health Awareness campaign. Her own struggles with depression inspired her to work alongside the nonprofit organization to launch Getting Better Together.

The star revealed that she was 19 or 20 when she was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder. In a video, the actress shared, “I remember having almost no one, really, to turn to. I couldn’t talk about it with my parents, or my friends or my friend’s parents. Everyone would tell me I was too young, too young to feel sad all the time or too young to feel stressed out.”

She explained how people around her tried to convince her that she wasn’t feeling what she felt. Fortunately, her instincts, which told her something was wrong, were louder, and she managed to save herself.

However, she recognized that not everyone had the ability to do the same or even to recognize that they needed help. That realization inspired her to start the Getting Better Together initiative. She urged, “If you or a young person you know is struggling, please go to ChildMind.org for resources and help.” Since then, she’s gotten married and welcomed children.

Celebrating Love and Growth

Gabourey Sidibe has since married Brandon Frankel, and together they share two children. In April 2025, the couple uploaded various images of their twins, Cooper and Maya, as they celebrated their first birthday.

The proud parents reflected on a full year filled with love and laughter. They described the twins as hilarious, sweet, and remarkably well-behaved. From walking and talking to dancing, hugging, and even demanding songs or calling every animal “CAT!”, the little ones have blossomed into vibrant mini humans.

Their parents expressed feeling honored to watch them grow and excited for all the learning and discovery ahead.

“We LOVE being your parents—the best is yet to come!” they wrote in a heartfelt celebration of the milestone.

The month before, the couple celebrated their wedding anniversary with help from Brides magazine.

For their fourth anniversary, they graced the magazine’s cover in 2022, and the publication honored them by inviting readers to revisit their love story through a special link in their bio.

My Husband’s Best Friend Moved in Weeks Ago, Expecting Me to Clean after Him – Husband Sided with Him, So I Taught Them a Lesson

My house used to be spotless when it was me and my husband. But then his friend came to stay and fights and clashes began. My husband didn’t care how I felt or about the distress I shared. It all finally came right when I took matters into my own hands.

When my husband offered his friend sanctuary at our home, he did it without my consent. Little did I know that having his longterm pal there would become a nightmare. Circumstances pushed me to take drastic measures to remedy things.

A dirty and messy bedroom | Source: Pexels

A dirty and messy bedroom | Source: Pexels

This is a photo of the bedroom after my husband’s best friend, Alex, had been staying with us for a few weeks. I cannot describe the smell to you, but believe me, it is putrid and unbearable! Alex moved in with us because his house was undergoing major renovations.

To be honest, my husband invited his friend to come live with us without discussing it with me first. I wasn’t happy with this arrangement, asking, “How long will he be here? And why didn’t you talk to me first before making such a drastic decision?”

A couple having a serious conversation | Source: Pexels

A couple having a serious conversation | Source: Pexels

“I am sorry, love. I wasn’t thinking straight. I allowed my excitement to control me,” he explained. The poor thing looked sincere in his apology, so I relented. But little did I know that would be a big mistake on MY part.

Initially, it was supposed to be a short-term arrangement, but weeks turned into months. My husband, Jake, thought it would be fun to have his best friend around. But he didn’t consider the extra work it would create for me.

A frustrated woman sitting next to someone | Source: Pexels

A frustrated woman sitting next to someone | Source: Pexels

“Don’t worry, babe,” Jake said the day Alex arrived, carrying his duffel bag and a box of video games. “It’ll be like old times. We’ll have a blast!” He also vowed that they’d stay out of my way and wouldn’t be a nuisance.

I forced a smile, but inside, I was already dreading the mess and the idea of living with two men. Jake and Alex had been inseparable since college, bonded by their love for gaming and sports. I, on the other hand, liked my peace and order.

A happy man carrying a duffel bag while his friend follows behind | Source: Midjourney

A happy man carrying a duffel bag while his friend follows behind | Source: Midjourney

Within days, the house transformed, and NOT in a good way! Empty beer bottles littered the living room, snack wrappers were everywhere, and dirty laundry piled up in Alex’s room! Jake and Alex would stay up late.

All they did since our guest came to stay was play video games or drink beer together. Their laughter echoed through the house, while I tried to sleep with a pillow over my head. I was so overwhelmed by all the extra cleaning I had to do.

An upset woman sitting on a windowsill | Source: Pexels

An upset woman sitting on a windowsill | Source: Pexels

And to add to that, I was starting to feel increasingly lonely. One evening, after a particularly long day at work, I found the kitchen in shambles. Crumbs covered the counter, the sink was full of dirty dishes, and a mysterious sticky substance featured on the floor.

I couldn’t take it anymore! “This has to STOP!” I said to myself through clenched teeth and balled-up fists. I decided to tackle my issues with Alex alone with my husband. But, he and his friend were glued at the hip and it was hard to get Jake by himself.

A dirty kitchen with used plates, glasses, and mugs | Source: Pexels

A dirty kitchen with used plates, glasses, and mugs | Source: Pexels

When I finally got a small gap where my husband was by himself, I decided to confront him. “Jake, can we talk?” I called from the doorway of his home office, where he was immersed in work while Alex was knee-deep in another video game in the living room.

“Sure, babe. What’s up?” he said, not looking away from the laptop screen. “I can’t keep up with all the cleaning. I need some help around here.” Jake paused what he was doing and turned to me with a dismissive wave.

A man working on a laptop in his home office | Source: Pexels

A man working on a laptop in his home office | Source: Pexels

I must say, I didn’t expect the response I got from him and it really hurt. Brushing my concerns off he replied, “Oh, don’t be such a downer! You just can’t stand that everything is not about you. Besides, it’s only one more room to clean. It’s not a big deal.”

His words stung! I was about to say something back to him when I noticed he’d gone back to his work! He wasn’t acknowledging my presence anymore! I walked away, feeling both angry and hurt. That night, I lay awake, listening to the childhood friends having a great time!

Two men sitting on the floor eating burgers while playing video games | Source: Pexels

Two men sitting on the floor eating burgers while playing video games | Source: Pexels

Then and there I started planning my next move. I decided to show Jake what “not a big deal” really meant. I figured he needed to experience it firsthand. The next morning, I woke up early and gathered all of Alex’s trash.

Since they slept late, they were going to wake up much later than me. I picked up the empty cans, dirty clothes, and half-eaten food and dumped them all in Jake’s office. By the time they woke up, the room looked like a war zone!

A woman holding a full trash bag | Source: Pexels

A woman holding a full trash bag | Source: Pexels

“Hey, what the hell?” my husband shouted from his office as soon as he opened the door. I knew throwing all the trash in there would have the most impact since Jake worked from home. He needed that space to be functional.

I didn’t bother responding or attending to him since I knew why he was shouting. Instead, Alex popped in and laughed, “Whoa, bro! Your office is a mess! You should do something about that if you want to get any work done.”

A shocked man standing in a dirty room | Source: Midjourney

A shocked man standing in a dirty room | Source: Midjourney

Off he went to prepare some breakfast and get back on the couch! Jake didn’t confront me but pushed everything into one corner so he could enter and work. As the days progressed, dirty dishes, random socks, and leftover food piled up in my husband’s office, causing him to freak out.

“I can’t work like THIS!!!” he shouted for the whole house to hear. I walked in with a sweet smile. “It’s only one room to clean, Jake, so do it. Not a big deal, right?” My husband was FURIOUS, but he couldn’t argue with my logic. Alex, on the other hand, looked sheepish.

A frustrated man | Source: Pexels

A frustrated man | Source: Pexels

“Dude, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was that bad,” he mumbled. “Maybe you should help out more,” I suggested and left them to deal with the mess. For a few days, things improved. Jake and Alex tried to keep the house cleaner, but their efforts were half-hearted at best.

The mess crept back, and I felt my frustration rising again. One Friday evening, I couldn’t take it anymore and confronted Jake. We got into a huge fight where he accused me of being a party pooper. Alex even tried mediating, but since he was the main cause of our stress, I told him to stay out of it.

A couple arguing | Source: Freepik

A couple arguing | Source: Freepik

My husband tried defending his friend but that made me angrier. I decided I’d had ENOUGH! I packed a bag and called my best friend, Lisa. “Can I crash at your place for the weekend?” I asked. “Of course, hon. What’s going on?” she replied.

A man watching as his partner leaves their apartment with a bag | Source: Pexels

A man watching as his partner leaves their apartment with a bag | Source: Pexels

I explained the situation, and she welcomed me with open arms. That weekend, I enjoyed the calm and cleanliness of Lisa’s apartment. I didn’t have to pick up after anyone, and it was a much-needed break.

An emotional woman being comforted by a friend | Source: Pexels

An emotional woman being comforted by a friend | Source: Pexels

On Monday morning, my phone buzzed with a call from Jake. “Please come home,” he begged, all desperate and ashamed. “The house is a disaster, and I can’t find anything I need. Alex is impossible to live with!” This man had a nerve calling me after going silent the whole weekend.

But I still felt a pang of sympathy, yet I stayed firm. “I’ll come back when the house is clean, and Alex is gone.” Jake sighed. “Okay, okay. We’ll clean it up immediately. Just please come home today, my love?”

A man talking on the phone in a dirty home office | Source: Midjourney

A man talking on the phone in a dirty home office | Source: Midjourney

“I’ll think about it,” I replied, not wanting to commit to anything and make him think he’d won. To my surprise, within minutes he sent me a video of them tidying up the house. I chose not to reply to the message but after discussing the matter with Lisa, I decided to go back home.

Two men cleaning a filthy house | Source: Midjourney

Two men cleaning a filthy house | Source: Midjourney

I returned later that day to find the house SPOTLESS! Jake and Alex had scrubbed every inch, and my husband’s friend had packed his bags. “Thanks for the hospitality,” he said sheepishly. “I’ll find somewhere else to stay until the renovations are done.”

A man carrying his luggage bag | Source: Freepik

A man carrying his luggage bag | Source: Freepik

As Alex left, Jake pulled me into a hug. “I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t realize how much work it was. I should have listened to you.” I softened, seeing the genuine regret in his eyes. “It’s okay. I just need us to be a team, not you and Alex against me.”

From that day on, things improved. Jake made an effort to keep the house clean and helped out more. Our home became a place of peace again, and our relationship grew stronger.

A woman hugging her man while he prepares breakfast | Source: Pexels

A woman hugging her man while he prepares breakfast | Source: Pexels

This is a photo of the extra bedroom after my husband’s best friend stayed with us for a few months. I cannot describe the smell to you, but believe me, it is blissful! Now the torment of having Alex over is just a memory of a lesson learned.

Jake smiled, wrapping his arm around me. “And one we won’t forget.”

A clean bedroom | Source: Pexels

A clean bedroom | Source: Pexels

Life returned to normal, but the experience brought us closer. We learned the importance of communication and respecting each other’s space. And I knew that no matter what challenges came our way, we could face them together.

A happy couple hanging out on a windowsill | Source: Pexels

A happy couple hanging out on a windowsill | Source: Pexels

In the following story, a frugal husband needs to learn a valuable lesson after trying to save by collecting food from food banks. His wife got the food bank’s director involved and cunningly they taught him why the poor need such services.

This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.

Related Posts

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*