Unique divorce announcement
Dear former partner,
I trust this letter finds you in good health and high spirits. It is with mixed emotions that I communicate my decision not to return to our shared abode. Reflecting on our seven years together, it is evident that change is inevitable, and in this case, it is necessary for both of us.
The recent fortnight has been quite tumultuous, culminating in a decisive moment when your manager called to inform me of your abrupt resignation. Upon your return home a week ago, my attempt to surprise you with your favorite dish and a fresh haircut went unnoticed. Clad in a pair of brand-new silk boxers, I hoped to rekindle the connection we once shared.
Regrettably, you devoured the meal in record time, indulged in your television dramas, and retired to bed without acknowledging the effort I put into the evening. Our communication has dwindled, expressions of love have become scarce, and our intimacy is but a distant memory. Whether this stems from infidelity or a loss of affection, I have chosen to part ways.
Wishing you a fulfilling journey ahead, your former partner.
P.S. Please refrain from attempting to locate me; your sister and I have decided to start anew in West Virginia. May life bring you joy.
To my previous spouse,
Your letter has undeniably added a touch of humor to my day. Despite the seven years of marriage, your perception of yourself as a kind and wonderful man hasn’t always aligned with reality.
Television dramas have been my escape from the constant complaints, although their effectiveness is inconsistent.
I did notice your new haircut last week, though my initial thought was that it had a surprisingly feminine touch!
My preference for TV dramas aside, I had to keep quiet about your attempt at preparing my favorite dinner since I gave up pork seven years ago. As for the silk boxers, the $49.99 price tag raised an eyebrow, especially considering my sister borrowed $50 from me that very morning.
Despite our differences, I held on to the belief that our love could endure. Imagine my surprise when, following my $10 million lottery win, I returned home to find you gone.
Everything happens for a reason, and I genuinely hope you find the fulfilling life you’ve always sought. Please be aware that, as per my attorney, you won’t be receiving any money from me.
Wishing you luck on your journey, your ex-wife, liberated and prosperous.
P.S. In case I haven’t mentioned it before, my sister Carla was born Carl. I trust this revelation won’t pose any issues.
MEGHAN MARKLE’S ORCHARD NAME DRAMA: MAJOR REBRANDING DECISION AFTER CLASH
Meghan Markle is thinking about a new name for her lifestyle brand, American Riviera Orchard (ARO), in case her current name doesn’t get approved, according to a source.
The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office recently rejected her application to use the ARO name, which has caused some confusion for her team.
The source mentioned that Meghan’s team might need to find a backup name, similar to what Kim Kardashian did when she had to change her shapewear brand name from Kimono to Skims due to cultural issues.
“The team is working on alternative names just in case,” the source said. “They’re a bit stressed but not too worried because Kim Kardashian also had to rebrand and it turned out fine.”
Changing the name now would be expensive because of all the branding work already done, but it’s not considered a disaster.
In March, Meghan Markle introduced her new lifestyle brand on social media and had filed for a trademark for the name American Riviera Orchard in February.
Her company aims to sell various home goods like cookbooks and tableware, as well as food and drink products such as jams and vegetable spreads. They are also considering adding a rose wine to their product line.
However, the trademark application was recently rejected. The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) said that “American Riviera” is a common nickname for the Santa Barbara, California area, which makes the name too generic and hard to trademark. The USPTO’s decision was announced on August 31.
The American Riviera refers to the California area, including Montecito, where Meghan Markle lives with Prince Harry and their children, Prince Archie, who is five, and Princess Lilibet, who is three.
Another source mentioned that trademark disputes are common in the U.S. and can usually be resolved. “It looks like American Riviera Orchard has received a few routine office actions, which is normal when filing for trademarks,” the source said.
The Sussexes have not yet commented on the situation.
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