Falling in love is a magical experience. It’s filled with excitement, butterflies, and a deep desire to make the best impression on the person we adore. In those early stages, we often tweak our behavior, carefully curating how we present ourselves. Something as simple as avoiding lollipops—fearing it may make us seem childish—symbolizes this phase of self-conscious love.
However, as a relationship matures, especially after marriage, things change. The need to impress fades, and the comfort of unconditional acceptance sets in. That once-hidden love for lollipops (or any quirky habit) resurfaces, representing a return to one’s true self.
Why Do We Hide Our True Selves in the Beginning?
When we first start dating, we unknowingly step into a highlight reel version of ourselves. We filter our habits, polish our words, and refine our actions to seem more attractive. But why?
1. The Desire to Impress
At the start of a relationship, we want to be seen in the best light. Whether it’s dressing perfectly, avoiding certain foods, or hiding silly habits, we make an effort to be someone our partner will admire.
2. Fear of Being Judged
We all have quirks—maybe you love collecting action figures, singing off-key in the shower, or eating candy like a child. But in the early stages, there’s a fear that revealing too much too soon could push the other person away.
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3. Society’s Expectations
Romantic relationships, especially new ones, are often shaped by social norms and expectations. Acting “mature” or “refined” seems like the right thing to do, even if it means suppressing natural instincts like enjoying a simple lollipop.
How Marriage Changes Everything
Marriage is not just about love; it’s about comfort, trust, and deep acceptance. Once you’ve committed to each other for life, the need to impress fades, and true personalities begin to shine.
1. The Comfort of Being Yourself
In a long-term relationship, you stop overthinking every action. You no longer worry if eating candy makes you seem childish, if watching cartoons is immature, or if wearing pajamas all day is unattractive. You embrace your true self because you know your partner loves you for who you are, not for the polished version you once presented.
2. Love Shifts from Attraction to Connection
Attraction may have sparked the relationship, but emotional connection sustains it. What makes a marriage strong is genuine companionship, built on shared experiences and authenticity. That means letting your guard down—whether that’s laughing at silly jokes, dancing like no one’s watching, or, yes, eating that lollipop with pride.
3. Unconditional Acceptance
Real love isn’t about impressing; it’s about accepting. Marriage teaches you that your quirks, habits, and imperfections are what make you unique—and those are often the things your partner grows to love the most.
The Evolution of Love: From Perfection to Authenticity
Every relationship goes through stages of transformation. The love that starts with perfection-seeking gradually matures into comfort-driven authenticity.
Stage 1: The “Best Behavior” Phase
In the beginning, you avoid anything that might make you seem less attractive or mature. You wear your best clothes, avoid messy foods, and pretend you don’t binge-watch cartoons.
Stage 2: The Gradual Unveiling
As you get more comfortable, little pieces of the real you start slipping out. Maybe you start eating lollipops in front of your partner, or you admit to loving cheesy romance novels. You test the waters to see if they still find you charming despite your quirks.
Stage 3: The Marriage Comfort Zone
By the time you’re married, there’s no need for facades. You eat what you want, laugh as loudly as you please, and fully embrace your unique personality. Your partner loves you for all of it—including the quirks you once tried to hide.
What This Teaches Us About True Love
1. You Deserve to Be Loved for Who You Are
If you feel the need to hide parts of yourself to keep someone interested, they may not be the right person for you. The right relationship allows you to be yourself from the start.
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2. Authenticity Leads to Deeper Connections
Love isn’t about pretending to be perfect—it’s about being real, raw, and vulnerable. The more you embrace your true self, the stronger your bond will be.
3. The Best Relationships Feel Like Home
In a lasting love story, your partner becomes your safe space—the person with whom you can be 100% yourself. If eating lollipops brings you joy, they won’t just accept it; they’ll probably buy you a lifetime supply.
Final Thoughts: Love is About Being Yourself
At the start of a relationship, it’s natural to want to impress, but true love is about acceptance, not perfection. The shift from hiding small quirks to embracing them openly is a sign of a healthy, growing relationship.
So, if you ever hesitated to eat a lollipop because you were afraid of being judged—go ahead and unwrap it now. If you’re with the right person, they’ll love watching you enjoy it.
A Few Hours before Wedding, Groom Puts on Jacket and Finds a Letter from His Mother in Its Pocket — Story of the Day
Today’s story is about a man who found a note from his mother in his jacket pocket a few hours before the wedding and couldn’t stop crying when he read it.
Kale was restless as he lay on his bed. He’d been trying to sleep for an hour, but sleep seemed to have other plans. What are you doing, Kale? The man sighed and buried his face in the pillow, cursing himself. You need to sleep! What will Camilla think if she sees you groggy on your wedding day?
But after nearly an hour, Kale still hadn’t fallen asleep. He finally sat up, took out the family album from his side drawer, and began flipping through the photos, remembering the old days.
Kale received a letter from his mother on his wedding day | Photo: Shutterstock
He was just 5 years old when his father David died in a car accident. David ran a small grocery store, and they didn’t make much money back then. The family was already struggling, and his father’s death devastated his mother, Lillian, but she never showed her pain to her son and did her best to raise him.
When he turned 18, she worked several jobs just to send him to college. The store was still there, but it wasn’t enough to provide for his education.
So the elderly lady worked multiple jobs and saved every penny she could, promising herself that she would help her son fulfill his dream of becoming a software engineer. And Kale, like a good son, did not disappoint his mother.
He worked hard and graduated magna cum laude from New York University. He also had several good offers and a handsome package by the end of his senior year of college.
However, by that time, Lilian’s health wasn’t doing well. She didn’t tell her son about it because she didn’t want him to worry. So when Kale returned to his Florida home one day, he was surprised to discover his mother almost lifeless on the bed.
Kale became a successful software engineer | Photo: Unsplash
He immediately called a doctor, who delivered the sad news to him that Lilian was suffering from Alzheimer’s. It was still in its early stages, but her condition was rapidly deteriorating because she didn’t take care of herself.
Kale was advised to transfer her to an old-age home where she would be cared for, but he didn’t want to do that. He tried to take care of his mother in the same way she had taken care of him and applied for a leave of absence to do so. However, nothing changed. Lilian’s condition worsened to the point where she could no longer recognize her own son.
When Kale saw his mother in that state, he became terrified and decided to move her to a nursing home. However, he didn’t want to leave her alone, so he brought her to New York and found a home for her over there.
Three years passed like that, and Lilian’s condition thankfully did not deteriorate, but she still had those moments when she forgot everything, including Kale.
Kale moved his mother to a nursing home | Photo: Unsplash
One day, Kale took his girlfriend, Camilla, to see his mother. They had just recently started dating then and when Lilian met Camilla, her eyes welled up. More surprisingly, she recognized Kale that day. But on their next visit, it was the same story again, where Lilian declared she never had a son.
A few years later, Kale and Camilla were already engaged and they went to visit Lilian to invite her to the wedding. But the poor woman didn’t recognize them both and kept asking how they knew her.
Kale ran out of the nursing home in tears. “What do I do, Camilla? Mom doesn’t even recognize us! And the wedding is just two days away!”
“It’s okay, honey,” Camilla consoled him. “I have an idea if you want your mother to attend our wedding.”
Camilla suggested that they’d hold two weddings. One with all the guests because they’d already sent out the invitations, and the other with intimate family members later at the church close to the nursing home, in the hopes that Lilian would at least recognize them then and give her blessing.
Lilian refused to recognize Kale and Camilla | Photo: Pexels
It was already 4 in the morning and Kale couldn’t stop thinking about his mother. His wedding was just hours away so he closed the photo album, closed his eyes, and managed to force himself to sleep until the sound of the doorbell woke him.
He got up, rubbed his eyes, and slowly walked towards the door. It was seven in the morning and a delivery boy stood outside with a package from his mother’s nursing home. Kale unwrapped the present quickly and discovered a nice suit inside.
Did mom send this to me? Did she finally remember that it is my wedding day? Kale leaped to his feet in delight and dashed over to the mirror to try on the suit. However, as he was putting on the jacket, he noticed a strange bulge in his pocket. He reached into the coat pocket and found a letter inside. “Please open it before your wedding,” it read on the top. Kale recognized his mother’s handwriting and immediately opened the letter and began reading.
Kale discovered a letter in his suit pocket | Photo: Unsplash
“Dear Kale,” it began. “I’m glad you’ve found someone you love, but let me warn you…Moving forward with the idea of marriage is not going to be easy for you. That’s why I’m writing this letter to you before it’s too late.”
“First of all, have a wonderful wedding, son. I came across your wedding invitation today. Thanks for leaving it with the nurse. I really want to see you get married, irrespective of whether I’ll be able to recognize you or not. The nurse here thinks it’s a miracle that I remembered you when I saw the wedding invite. I wish this miracle could last a little longer so that I could remember everything.
“But in any case, please remember that I’m always there with you. Please love your wife and take good care of her. Marriage is a sacred relationship, but it’s not a bed of roses. There’ll be ups and downs, but in a relationship, the heart for understanding each other is the most important.
“Also, keep in mind, son, that you now hold not just a wife and a beloved woman, but the most valuable treasure. So try and help her; she is a fragile woman who may appear strong from the outside, but just like everyone else, even she needs support. And please, don’t quarrel over petty things such as money. Money is not more important than love and relationships.
“Love your wife, try to understand her, and admire her. When she looks at you with love in her eyes, look at her with the same feeling. Every quarrel, like every hurtful word, has the potential to pierce the heart. Don’t let that come in between you two and destroy your family. Do not pursue other women; you have made a decision to pursue her, so don’t look back and be the man of her dreams. I hope you’d be as wonderful a husband as you are a son. With love, Mom.”
Lilian attended Kale’s wedding | Photo: Shutterstock
Kale’s eyes welled up as he finished reading the letter. He quickly got ready and went to the nursing home to meet his mother. Unfortunately, Lilian didn’t recognize him, but he decided to bring her to the wedding as she’d desired.
He went out and bought her a lovely gown and asked the nurse to get her ready. Lilian arrived at the wedding venue in a wheelchair, completely unaware of her surroundings, but tears welled up in her eyes when she heard her son say, “I do!” Perhaps, just for a moment, she did recognize her son and his future wife.
What can we learn from this story?
- Love and respect your parents. Kale loved his mother and never left her alone, despite her condition. All of us should try to be like that.
- Miracles do happen. Lilian had almost forgotten about his son, but she remembered him one day and wrote him a touching letter.
If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about a store clerk who kicks out a poor little boy who wanted to buy a doll for his dying mom.
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