It’s uplifting to witness women supporting each other, whether it’s friends offering help or strangers extending support to those they’ve never met. In this story, a woman quietly left a letter for her ex-boyfriend’s future girlfriend, offering a heads-up about what to anticipate and sharing lessons from her own experience. The new girlfriend shared this moving act of solidarity on Reddit, where she received an outpouring of encouragement and advice from the online community.
She wrote:
“My boyfriend Steve (30m) and I (28f) have been together for 2 years and have been living together for 8 months. I was cleaning our apartment when I found a note in the back of a cabinet that read:
‘Dear Steve’s Future Girlfriend,
I know it’s you reading this because he’d never clean back here. I’m putting this here because I’m leaving him soon and want to warn you about him:
1-He will not clean;
2-He will not listen;
3-He will make everything feel like it’s your fault;
It’s not your fault, he’s just an incompetent man. I’m leaving him, I suggest you do the same.
Best wishes, Natalia'”
She added:
“I read the note and brought it to show to him and hear his response. He immediately ripped it up and said not to listen to it, that she was crazy and untrustworthy. I told him that the fact that he hasn’t found the note in the 5 years since they broke up is a red flag to me because it does mean he’s never cleaned back there and that he has been cleaning less and less since I moved in.
He told me this is just his ex continuing to manipulate and ruin his life, and I was letting it work. We continued to argue along the same lines, and I eventually left to spend the night at a friend’s place.
Steve has been a great boyfriend so far. He gets along with my family. He has given me gifts and flowers and always tells me how much he loves me. He’s not wrong that the cleaning hasn’t really been brought up before, but the note made me realize it had been less and less and that we needed to have a full conversation about this.”
She went on explaining:
“He texted me afterwards saying he’s sorry that I felt like I had to leave, but that it’s a wrong move for me to take a note over our 2-year relationship and to leave him and our pets alone. I don’t know what to do or what to believe right now. I’m contemplating trying to find and reach out to Natalia.
Steve thinks I should come back home and let it go, that his past should not affect our future. He makes it sound like his ex was manipulative and petty throughout their relationship, but I don’t know what to trust.
When we moved in together 8 months ago, the cleaning was 50/50. Since then, he’s been doing things less and less. I have to remind him to do things like to bring his plates to the sink or take out the trash, and I didn’t have to before. The dishes will pile up unless I do them, to the point he’s had leftover food mold on the plates.”
She continued:
“I’m not a confrontational person, so I was just asking him to fix it when it came up. The note made me reflect on it more and try to have an actual full conversation, and I will say I didn’t feel listened to when I talked to him about it.
I tried to use the note to start a conversation about cleaning, and he got so stuck on the fact that I was listening to his ex instead of him, that he wouldn’t listen to what I think are valid concerns. He thinks I’m letting the note have “confirmation bias” so no matter what he says I’ll think he’s in the wrong.
Also, I didn’t leave him permanently, this all happened yesterday and I only spent one night at a friend’s because I didn’t feel like our conversation was going anywhere last night, and he wouldn’t let me sleep until I let it go. I’m going back today and wanted to get advice and feedback before I do.”
Other Redditors chimed in, sharing their own insights and offering advice to her.
- I’m so glad for you. It wasn’t two wasted years since they taught you a valuable lesson. I’m especially grateful for Natalia! Please tell her we love her for her kind solidarity and witty ways. Absolutely, leave a note — but better yet, leave two. One in the same place (he’ll look there; manipulative narcissists aren’t that dumb), and another in an even less likely spot. Sending you my best. You got this, girl! © occasionalpart / Reddit
- Well, he’s not cleaning, he’s not listening to you, and he’s making it out to be your fault “for trusting a note over him.” So, it seems the ex’s assessment might be accurate. It doesn’t look like he’s open to discussing his poor housekeeping, and personally, I don’t think you’ll be able to address it now without the note coming up. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide whether this is something you can tolerate. It seems he hasn’t learned anything from his last relationship. © VonBoo / Reddit
- You’ve been living together for less than a year, and you’re already having to play mommy, reminding him of basic chores and daily tasks! If Natalia were truly such a manipulative, crazy person, she would have made much harsher and more dramatic accusations than these. © Arya_kidding_me / Reddit
- It’s almost ironic how easy it would have been for him to shut this entire thing down with the simplest of responses: “Hmm, you’re right, I’ll make sure to clean more.” That would have immediately countered points 2 and 3. But he’d rather be right, and he’d rather play the aggrieved party. You didn’t do anything wrong by trying to have a conversation off the back of that note. His reaction should tell you everything. © Mobius_Stripping / Reddit
- I’d be willing to bet money that the note is right. He sounds like the kind of man who will stop doing anything the second he decides a woman is fully trapped. The slow tapering off you’re witnessing is him testing the waters. He needs to figure out whether he just needs to waste enough of your time to get to that stage, or whether you need a ring or a baby to feel trapped. © Extension_Drummer_85 / Reddit
- “Don’t expect to change a man unless he’s in diapers.” This behavior will continue on, he’s gotten away with it before up to a certain point. He wants someone to pick up after him like his mommy.
Any time a guy says, “My ex is/was crazy,” is a MASSIVE red flag right there. It’s something guys have been saying since the dawn of time to belittle their former partners. He’ll say the same thing about you to his next girlfriend. You have to ask yourself, “Was she crazy, or did he drive her crazy with his behavior and laziness?” I’d leave your own note when you do finally dump him. And reach out to his ex, see what she has to say. © Equal-Brilliant2640 / Reddit
When trust is broken between couples, it often leads to a surge of emotional and psychological turmoil, including feelings of uncertainty and profound confusion. In a different scenario, a woman shared a fascinating story of her own sleuthing skills. She discovered her husband was cheating simply by paying close attention to his breakfast order.
13 Years Ago Was the Last Time I Saw My Daughter, Today I Got a Christmas Letter from Her – My Story
Over a decade ago, I lost my job and family because I didn’t take myself seriously. After slowly piecing my life together, I finally have a chance at redemption with my estranged daughter.
I used to be an ambitious young man with the world at my feet. I always saw myself running my own business, and for a while, I believed that I was on the right path. Looking back, I think this passion made my ex-wife, Rebecca, first fall in love with me. She even supported me during the humble beginnings of my old repair shop.
Rebecca and I had our daughter, Harriet, during this time. Unfortunately, my repair shop went bankrupt. I began to feel depressed and lost motivation. I worked as a waiter to make ends meet, but I couldn’t provide a stable lifestyle for my family.
“When are you going to get a real job?” Rebecca asked me. I had no answer. Even though I had a great relationship with Harriet during her childhood, my marriage slowly fell apart.
Rebecca and I fought all the time, and we grew further apart. One day, I was called into the restaurant and told they could no longer keep me on the staff. “We’re going to have to let you go, Jimmy,” my manager told me.
For illustrative purposes only. | Source: Unsplash
At the time, I was at such a low point in my life that I didn’t even care. Perhaps I thought Rebecca could care for me while I looked for a new job. That day I went home and took a walk with my family. Harriet was riding in her little car with foot pedals. Rebecca had a solemn demeanor, and I sensed something was wrong.
“I’m leaving you, Jimmy. I just can’t do this anymore. It’s obvious that you’ve given up on everything,” She told me. In one day, my entire world had come crashing down. I tried to convince Rebecca to give me one more chance, but her mind had already been made up. I gave my daughter a big hug.
“Mom always told me you were a loser and I should forget about you, but I can see that you’ve changed.”
“Daddy will always love you no matter, okay Harriet?” I told her. I could tell that she didn’t understand what was going on. By the following day, Rebecca and Harriet were out of the house, and I was all alone. Rebecca took full custody of our daughter as I was unemployed.
It was only then that I realized how much of a loser I was. I couldn’t even take care of Harriet as I had no savings or job lined up. In what felt like a few months, Rebecca had already moved in with a new partner, Eric. “Until you get your life in order, don’t even think about talking to Harriet,” Rebecca told me.
For illustrative purposes only. | Source: Unsplash
I used the last of my money to buy Harriet a gift for her birthday party, a small bunny rabbit. I also wrote a note which read, “I miss you so much. Happy Birthday. Love Daddy.”
When I reached Eric’s house, I saw he was pretty rich. He had thrown a big birthday party for Harriet, with mascots and a jumping castle. I felt ashamed. My daughter had a new dad. Eric could provide Harriet with things I couldn’t even dream of buying.
I left my gift at their front gate and left. At this point, I was in a very dark place and couldn’t see a way forward. I decided to leave the coast and move cities. All I had to my name was the house my father, Frank, left me.
Since I was flat broke, I sold the house and moved into an apartment in a town in a different state.
I worked odd jobs at times to make a bit of money. Two years after I left my family behind, I was broke again. The following month, I was evicted. I found myself out on the street with nowhere to turn.
For illustrative purposes only. | Source: Unsplash
I can’t keep living like this, I realized. I walked into the local store and begged for a job. The manager recognized me from around town and gave me a chance as a cleaner in the store. In the next few months, I was promoted to cashier, and within a year, I was made administrator of the whole store.
Even though I was finally financially stable and had cleaned up my act, I was still very lonely. Years flew by, and I still wasn’t in contact with any of my family, and I had no real friends. I regularly gave some of my money to charity because I had no one to spend it on.
That all changed today, as for the first time in ages, I received mail that wasn’t an outstanding bill. It was a Christmas letter from Harriet!
For illustrative purposes only. | Source: Unsplash
It has been 13 years since I’ve seen I have seen or heard from my daughter but I’ve been blessed with a Christmas miracle. Her words warmed my heart in a way that I haven’t felt in years. Her letter read:
“Hi, Dad. I’ve finally found you! This may come as a shock, but I’ll be flying in to see you tomorrow. We have so much to talk about. Even though mom and Eric provided me with everything growing up, I always wondered when you would come back.
Mom always told me you were a loser and I should forget about you, but I can see that you’ve changed and got yourself together. Just so you know, I still have the stuffed bunny you left me for my birthday. I named him Jimmy, so in a way, you’ve been with me all along!
See you soon. I love you, and I can’t wait.
Merry Christmas, Dad!”
This is the most incredible day of my life. I’ve missed my daughter so much, and I never thought I’d get this opportunity. I changed my life for the better and did what I could to help my community.
For illustrative purposes only. | Source: Unsplash
Although I felt too ashamed to return home, God has blessed me with a second chance with Harriet. This time, I’ll do everything I can to make her proud and make up for all the time we missed together. After 13 long years, I finally have my shot at redemption.
Have you ever had a moment when you needed to start life with a clean slate? How did you survive it?
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about a man who abandons his family and is recognized 20 years later begging in the streets by his estranged daughter.
This piece is inspired by stories from the everyday lives of our readers and written by a professional writer. Any resemblance to actual names or locations is purely coincidental. All images are for illustration purposes only. Share your story with us; maybe it will change someone’s life.
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