It’s uplifting to witness women supporting each other, whether it’s friends offering help or strangers extending support to those they’ve never met. In this story, a woman quietly left a letter for her ex-boyfriend’s future girlfriend, offering a heads-up about what to anticipate and sharing lessons from her own experience. The new girlfriend shared this moving act of solidarity on Reddit, where she received an outpouring of encouragement and advice from the online community.
She wrote:
“My boyfriend Steve (30m) and I (28f) have been together for 2 years and have been living together for 8 months. I was cleaning our apartment when I found a note in the back of a cabinet that read:
‘Dear Steve’s Future Girlfriend,
I know it’s you reading this because he’d never clean back here. I’m putting this here because I’m leaving him soon and want to warn you about him:
1-He will not clean;
2-He will not listen;
3-He will make everything feel like it’s your fault;
It’s not your fault, he’s just an incompetent man. I’m leaving him, I suggest you do the same.
Best wishes, Natalia'”
She added:
“I read the note and brought it to show to him and hear his response. He immediately ripped it up and said not to listen to it, that she was crazy and untrustworthy. I told him that the fact that he hasn’t found the note in the 5 years since they broke up is a red flag to me because it does mean he’s never cleaned back there and that he has been cleaning less and less since I moved in.
He told me this is just his ex continuing to manipulate and ruin his life, and I was letting it work. We continued to argue along the same lines, and I eventually left to spend the night at a friend’s place.
Steve has been a great boyfriend so far. He gets along with my family. He has given me gifts and flowers and always tells me how much he loves me. He’s not wrong that the cleaning hasn’t really been brought up before, but the note made me realize it had been less and less and that we needed to have a full conversation about this.”
She went on explaining:
“He texted me afterwards saying he’s sorry that I felt like I had to leave, but that it’s a wrong move for me to take a note over our 2-year relationship and to leave him and our pets alone. I don’t know what to do or what to believe right now. I’m contemplating trying to find and reach out to Natalia.
Steve thinks I should come back home and let it go, that his past should not affect our future. He makes it sound like his ex was manipulative and petty throughout their relationship, but I don’t know what to trust.
When we moved in together 8 months ago, the cleaning was 50/50. Since then, he’s been doing things less and less. I have to remind him to do things like to bring his plates to the sink or take out the trash, and I didn’t have to before. The dishes will pile up unless I do them, to the point he’s had leftover food mold on the plates.”
She continued:
“I’m not a confrontational person, so I was just asking him to fix it when it came up. The note made me reflect on it more and try to have an actual full conversation, and I will say I didn’t feel listened to when I talked to him about it.
I tried to use the note to start a conversation about cleaning, and he got so stuck on the fact that I was listening to his ex instead of him, that he wouldn’t listen to what I think are valid concerns. He thinks I’m letting the note have “confirmation bias” so no matter what he says I’ll think he’s in the wrong.
Also, I didn’t leave him permanently, this all happened yesterday and I only spent one night at a friend’s because I didn’t feel like our conversation was going anywhere last night, and he wouldn’t let me sleep until I let it go. I’m going back today and wanted to get advice and feedback before I do.”
Other Redditors chimed in, sharing their own insights and offering advice to her.
- I’m so glad for you. It wasn’t two wasted years since they taught you a valuable lesson. I’m especially grateful for Natalia! Please tell her we love her for her kind solidarity and witty ways. Absolutely, leave a note — but better yet, leave two. One in the same place (he’ll look there; manipulative narcissists aren’t that dumb), and another in an even less likely spot. Sending you my best. You got this, girl! © occasionalpart / Reddit
- Well, he’s not cleaning, he’s not listening to you, and he’s making it out to be your fault “for trusting a note over him.” So, it seems the ex’s assessment might be accurate. It doesn’t look like he’s open to discussing his poor housekeeping, and personally, I don’t think you’ll be able to address it now without the note coming up. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide whether this is something you can tolerate. It seems he hasn’t learned anything from his last relationship. © VonBoo / Reddit
- You’ve been living together for less than a year, and you’re already having to play mommy, reminding him of basic chores and daily tasks! If Natalia were truly such a manipulative, crazy person, she would have made much harsher and more dramatic accusations than these. © Arya_kidding_me / Reddit
- It’s almost ironic how easy it would have been for him to shut this entire thing down with the simplest of responses: “Hmm, you’re right, I’ll make sure to clean more.” That would have immediately countered points 2 and 3. But he’d rather be right, and he’d rather play the aggrieved party. You didn’t do anything wrong by trying to have a conversation off the back of that note. His reaction should tell you everything. © Mobius_Stripping / Reddit
- I’d be willing to bet money that the note is right. He sounds like the kind of man who will stop doing anything the second he decides a woman is fully trapped. The slow tapering off you’re witnessing is him testing the waters. He needs to figure out whether he just needs to waste enough of your time to get to that stage, or whether you need a ring or a baby to feel trapped. © Extension_Drummer_85 / Reddit
- “Don’t expect to change a man unless he’s in diapers.” This behavior will continue on, he’s gotten away with it before up to a certain point. He wants someone to pick up after him like his mommy.
Any time a guy says, “My ex is/was crazy,” is a MASSIVE red flag right there. It’s something guys have been saying since the dawn of time to belittle their former partners. He’ll say the same thing about you to his next girlfriend. You have to ask yourself, “Was she crazy, or did he drive her crazy with his behavior and laziness?” I’d leave your own note when you do finally dump him. And reach out to his ex, see what she has to say. © Equal-Brilliant2640 / Reddit
When trust is broken between couples, it often leads to a surge of emotional and psychological turmoil, including feelings of uncertainty and profound confusion. In a different scenario, a woman shared a fascinating story of her own sleuthing skills. She discovered her husband was cheating simply by paying close attention to his breakfast order.
4 times Taylor Swift went makeup-free and looked flawless
Not only is Taylor Swift famous for her musical talent and romantic endeavors, but many Swifties are also frequently blown away by her stunning makeup looks. The musician has rocked various makeup looks since her first single, “Tim McGraw,” hit the Billboard charts in 2006. She has sported dark smokey eyes, blue eyeshadow, long lashes, peachy tones, and cat eyes “sharp enough to kill a man.” And don’t forget about all the red lipsticks Taylor Swift has worn! But do you ever think about what she looks like without makeup?
As strikingly perfect as the celebrity appears, she’s had a relatable, not-so-great habit of failing to remove her makeup. “Sometimes I forget to wash off my makeup. Okay—almost all the time,” Swift admitted to Allure back in 2011. But unsurprisingly, the pop star is still just as beautiful without makeup as when she wears a full face on TV and at her sold-out concerts — and her makeup-free photos prove it.
Tied together with a smile
On January 22, 2019, Taylor Swift posted a casual selfie rocking a denim jacket, adorable dirty blond bangs swept to the side, and what looked like no trace of makeup. The singer smiled next to her “Cats” character name, Bombalurina, and appropriately captioned the post, “Meow.”
Despite not wearing makeup, the celebrity still had bright eyes, clear skin, and full lips. Between Swift’s raised eyebrows and somewhat mischievous-looking smirk, this selfie exudes a playful mood, and the lack of makeup contributed to that fun energy.
But what can we say? You’re gorgeous
On October 24, 2022, Taylor Swift proved you don’t need makeup to capture a moody photograph (or when you’re announcing the release of your newest album). Wearing no makeup, the musician looked genuinely beautiful with her hair up in a braided bun as she stared off into space, wearing a fairytale-esque ensemble.
Part of the singer-slash-songwriter’s promotional post caption consisted of, “Midnight, what a storied and fabled hour… On this sparkling evening I’ll be releasing my twist on a fairytale we all know.” Not only did this picture prove Swift looks stunning without makeup, but considering the success of Swift’s “Midnights” album, it’s safe to say she’s bejeweled inside and out.
He said the way her blue eyes shined …
Every true Swiftie knows that Taylor Swift enjoys rocking sweaters (or cardigans, shall we say?). On October 24, 2018, the musician proved that her love for turtlenecks likely outweighed her liking for makeup. In a selfie showing off her famous blond bangs and enchanting blue eyes, the pop star rocked a dark, cozy-looking turtleneck.
She captioned the post, “Here we can observe an Australian swiftlet in her natural habitat, a turtleneck.” The selfie gives off a down-to-earth, nature-focused vibe. Swift walked around an Australian nature landscape in her monochromatic black outfit in the post’s second and third photos.
It’s nice to have a friend
Everyone loves an adorable buddy picture — especially when it consists of two famous and ultra-talented musicians. On November 10, 2022, Taylor Swift focused on silly fun rather than makeup when posting a cute picture with fellow songwriter Jack Antonoff.
Swift wore a relatively casual outfit with no makeup and held up a drink as Antonoff stood in a jokingly tired-looking pose by the piano. The post’s caption reads, “Anti hero but make it acoustic.” Why bother with makeup when you already have friendship and music in the picture?
Poke that bear ’til her claws come out
Yes, Taylor Swift wore a bear costume and posted it on Instagram at the end of 2020. Of course, she went makeup-free in such an already daring and random picture. Unafraid to show off her silly side, the musician appropriately captioned the hilarious New Year’s Eve picture, “Bye 2020, it’s been weird.”
While her bangs were mostly covered by the costume, followers can still easily recognize her famous blue eyes and adorably round face shape. Not many people could look flawless wearing no makeup in a bear costume, but Swift did. Are we even surprised?
Never go out of style
Every active social media user who experienced the COVID-19 lockdowns likely posted at least one no-makeup selfie at home with a boredom-related caption. Even Taylor Swift jumped on board the Instagram trend, posting a flawless makeup-free selfie on April 27, 2020.
The pop star stared into the camera with her iconic blond curls slightly longer than her clavicle, captioning the photo, “Not a lot going on at the moment.” While the post’s caption was relatable, many viewers were likely shocked (or, let’s be honest, maybe not so shocked) by how perfect Swift looked without makeup.
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