I take it that everyone of us must navigate our own lives and take responsibility for our decisions? However, it is in our nature as humans to want to help friends who are actually in need. However, what would you do if your friend—the one you always stand by—started confiding in you about all of their issues, repeatedly, and with no sign of stopping? This Reddit member is exactly in that predicament. She wondered if she was managing the matter with her buddy correctly, so she looked to the large internet community for advice.
I(32F) am a single mother of two kids (6M and 5m F). I am a single mother by choice (my kids are donor conceived).
I am lucky enough to have a good job (French teacher in a private school), and a paid off house (parents’ life insurance and inheritance).
Before I had either of my kids, I made sure to have a year’s living expenses saved, then I would take a sabbatical to recover from birth, as well as bond with my kids. While on sabbatical, I still tutor some kids for some extra income.
My friend (34F), just had a baby 2 months ago. She is the breadwinner in her household, and her husband has been unemployed since he was laid off during COVID.
It was great to be pregnant at the same time, as well as having a friend with a newborn. But it has turned sour.
She has been saying how jealous she is of me being able to take off a whole year from work, how she would have loved to not worry about losing their home, how she doesn’t even have a couple hundred dollars in her savings account, let alone a whole year’s worth of living expenses….
I usually ignore it, or brush it off, because I kind of can understand the stress she is under.
Well, starting about 10 days ago, she started hinting at not being able to afford daycare, and any mention of her husband taking care of their kid is brushed off. Then she started remarking on how much free time I must have, which I deflected by saying -truthfully- that being a single mom to a baby and a small kid left me no free time actually.
Then last night she came out with it, and asked if I could “do her a favor” and watch her kid while she’s at work. I was firm, but polite, when I said that I couldn’t, that I am not capable of watching two kids under 6 months.
She started almost begging me, saying she can’t afford daycare, and if she is not back at work, she will lose her job, and they will end up homeless. I again brought up her husband, and she said that he was not good with kids, and isn’t capable of taking care of her kid.
I kept saying no, she kept pushing, until it escalated to her calling me heartless, and me telling her that it’s not my problem she chose to have a kid with a useless man.
Now she blocked me, I am feeling very guilty about what I said, and feeling like an AH.
The moment I met my boyfriend’s mom, my world turned upside down
The life story of June, an 18-year-old girl, resembles a movie script and is just another example that there are things that we can never predict, not even in our wildest dreams.
She started her story explaining that she and her boyfriend, Alex, fated for seven months, but they were able to form a really strong bond. Somehow, they both felt they were meant for one another.
On his 18th birthday, Alex said he wanted to introduce her with his parents.
“I’m excited for you to meet them, Junie,” Alex said. “I think you’ll really love my mom. You both have the same dry humor.”
When Alex spoke of his parents, it was obvious that he and his mom and dad adored him. He shared how they had a lot of fun during movie nights at home and how supportive they were of him.
June was happy for him knowing that he, just like her, was adopted. It was beautiful that both of their adoptive parents turned out to be great people.
In fact, when June turned seventeen, her adoptive parents told her everything about her biological mom. As June really wanted to meet her, she learned who she was and the two agreed to have coffee together. But the meeting was a short one as June’s biological mom left the place quickly, claiming she needed to be elsewhere.
That was the only time the two had seen each other.
When June and Alex went to his place, it was his father Thomas who greeted them at the door.
“You must be June!” he exclaimed, hugging her. “Alex has told us so much about you! I’m Thomas.”
“Yes, it’s so nice to finally meet you,” June said, suddenly nervous about her outfit choice.
“Alex’s Mom just went to get some donuts. We have birthday cake, too. But Alex loves his donuts,” Thomas said.
June kept looking at the door. She couldn’t wait to finally meet Alex’s mom because she was the one June wanted to impress.
Moments later, the mom entered the house, carrying a box of donuts in her hands.
The world then stopped for a moment for June. She found herself looking straight at the woman who gave her up for adoption. It was the craziest coincidence.
“June,” she whispered, her expression revealing a mix of shock and recognition.
“What are you doing here?” June asked.
“Wait, you two know each other?” Alex asked in confusion.
It was then that June said, “Your mom is my biological mother.”
Alex started asking for an explanation, and that’s when his mom, Elizabeth, revealed the truth. She confessed that she had given birth to a baby girl 18 years ago, but she was way too young to be able to keep her and take care of her.
“Years later, unable to have a child of our own, Thomas and I adopted Alex. He’s always known he was adopted, that we chose him, and loved him,” Elizabeth said.
June had plenty of questions. “Why didn’t you reach out after I found you?” she asked her mother.
“I was scared,” Elizabeth admitted. “I didn’t know if reaching out would be worse. I thought I was protecting us. I didn’t know how Alex would react to having a sister of sorts, especially one that was the same age as him and biologically my child. I didn’t want to hurt him in any way.”
For both June and Alex, this revelation was a lot to take in. Although there was no biological connection between them, the circumstances of their family ties necessitated a reevaluation of their relationship.
At the end of the day, his mom was her mom, and that felt too close to home.
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