Laughter truly is the best medicine, and who doesn’t love a good joke to brighten their day? From kids and animals to life’s quirky moments, these 12 jokes are sure to tickle your funny bone.
Whether you’re looking for a quick chuckle or a laugh-out-loud moment, we’ve got you covered. So sit back, relax, and enjoy a collection of humor that’s as diverse as it is hilarious.
Friends laughing at something on a cell phone | Source: Pexels
The Parrot and the Burglar
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house. As he tiptoed through the living room, a booming voice stopped him in his tracks: “Jesus is watching you!”
Terrified, he froze, but when silence returned, he crept forward again.
The voice echoed once more, “Jesus is watching you!”
Panicking, the burglar scanned the room and spotted a parrot in a cage.
“Was that you?” he asked.
A burglar holding his hands against his head | Source: Pexels
“Yes,” the parrot replied.
Relieved, the burglar asked, “What’s your name?”
“Moses,” said the bird.
“Moses? That’s a dumb name for a parrot. What idiot named you that?”
A parrot in a birdcage | Source: Pexels
The parrot squawked, “The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus.”
Moses’ quick wit is just the start of this laughter-filled journey. As we turn the page to the next joke, prepare for a story that combines a bit of mystery with a generous dose of hilarity. Hold onto your sides as we dive into this playful tale by the cemetery.
The Nutty Cemetery Mix-Up
Two boys were sitting behind a nut tree near a cemetery fence, dividing a bucket of nuts. The bucket was so full that some nuts fell out and rolled away, ending up near the fence. The boys ignored them for now and continued dividing the nuts in the bucket.
Nuts lying on grass | Source: Pexels
“One for you, one for me,” they chanted.
A third boy cycling by heard the voices and thought, “It’s Satan and St. Peter dividing souls!” Terrified, he rushed to an old man further down the road. After much persuasion, the old man hobbled over with him to see what the boy was talking about.
Peering through the fence, they heard, “One for you, one for me…”
Trembling, the old man whispered, “This is real!”
A shocked elderly man peering through a fence | Source: Midjourney
But just as they braced themselves, the boys finished dividing the nuts and said, “Now let’s fetch the ones by the fence.”
The old man reportedly made it back to town five minutes before the boy.
Those mischievous boys by the cemetery certainly knew how to spark some laughs. But now, let’s shift gears to a family situation with a humorous twist. This next joke shows just how creative (or not) some relatives can be when left in charge.
The Twin Naming Fiasco
A man attending a conference overseas got the news that his wife had given birth to twins. Excited, he called her and asked, “Who took you to the hospital?”
A happy man speaking on his cell phone | Source: Pexels
“Your brother, Joe,” she replied. “And since I was under anesthesia, he also named the babies.”
Horrified, the husband exclaimed, “Joe’s a moron! What did he name them?”
“Well, we have a girl and a boy. He named the girl Deniece.”
“That’s not so bad. What about the boy?”
A thoughtful man speaking on his cell phone | Source: Pexels
“Joe called him De-nephew.”
Joe’s naming antics were nothing short of entertaining, weren’t they? But hold on, because this next tale introduces a farmer who takes communication to a whole new level. Get ready to laugh as a lawyer struggles to decode a farmer’s quirky requests.
The Farmer’s Divorce Dilemma
A farmer walked into a lawyer’s office and said, “I want a day-vorce.”
A farmer standing in a lawyer’s office | Source: Midjourney
The lawyer asked, “What grounds do you have?”
“About 140 acres,” the farmer replied.
Exasperated, the lawyer asked, “Do you have a grudge?”
“Sure do—that’s where I park my tractor.”
Finally, the lawyer shouted, “Why do you want a divorce?”
A lawyer leaning on his desk, looking frustrated | Source: Pexels
The farmer sighed, “I can never have a meaningful conversation with her.”
The farmer’s take on communication left us in stitches, but the humor doesn’t stop there. This time, we’re jumping into the world of a frog with an unusual destiny. Get ready for a ribbit-ing prediction that’s bound to crack you up.
The Frog’s Unfortunate Prediction
A frog called a psychic hotline.
A frog on a table | Source: Pexels
He was thrilled when the psychic told him, “In the next month, you’ll meet a beautiful young woman. She’s going to be fascinated by you and want to know everything about you.”
“Where will I meet her?” the frog asked eagerly. “Will we be at a party? Or, maybe she’ll be strolling past my home?”
The psychic replied, “None of those. You’ll meet her in her biology class next semester.”
A woman speaking into a headset microphone | Source: Pexels
Just when you thought things couldn’t get more unexpected, we’ve got a wartime confession that’s equal parts surprising and amusing. This joke reveals how even serious situations can take a turn for the hilariously awkward. Let’s dive in.
The Never-Ending War
A man in Amsterdam confessed to his priest, “During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic.”
“That’s not a sin,” the priest reassured him. “You helped someone in need.”
A priest listening to a confession | Source: Pexels
“But I charged him 20 Gulden a week,” the man added.
“That wasn’t good, but you still saved his life,” said the priest.
The man lets out a deep sigh. “I can’t tell you how relieved I am to hear you say that. But tell me, Father, do I have to tell him the war’s over?” asked the man.
A man confessing his sins to a priest | Source: Pexels
That moral dilemma from WWII had quite the twist, didn’t it? Now, let’s step into the workplace for a story of pure comedic misfortune. Brace yourself for a laugh-out-loud moment that could only happen to someone truly unlucky.
The Iron Phone Incident
Mark showed up to work with two red, sore ears.
His coworker asked, “What happened?”
A man working on a construction site glancing to one side | Source: Pexels
Mark explained, “I was ironing while watching TV. When the phone rang, I picked up the iron instead.”
“And the other ear?”
“The guy called back.”
Mark’s phonecall mishap had us in tears, but this next one takes us to a fast-food joint where sharing gets a hilarious spin. Get ready for a tale of an elderly couple who redefine the concept of “togetherness” in the quirkiest way possible.
Sharing is Caring
An elderly couple walked into a fast-food restaurant and ordered one burger and a small order of fries. As they sat down, they carefully split everything: the burger, the fries, even the drink.
A burger and fries on a table | Source: Pexels
A trucker watching nearby felt sorry for them and offered to buy the wife her own meal.
The husband politely declined, saying, “Oh, no, thank you. We share everything.”
A few minutes later, the trucker noticed that while the husband was eating, the wife hadn’t touched a bite.
Concerned, he asked, “Why aren’t you eating?”
A trucker seated in a fast-food restaurant | Source: Midjourney
The wife replied sharply, “Because I’m waiting for the teeth!”
From fast-food hilarity to a nocturnal adventure, this next joke is a real screamer—or should we say squeaker? Join us as we enter the world of bats with a twist that’s both dark and uproarious.
The Blind Bat
A vampire bat returned to his cave covered in blood, only to be hounded by others asking where he got the blood.
Bats hanging in a cave | Source: Pexels
Finally, he led them through a forest and pointed to a tree.
“Do you see that tree?” he asked.
“YES!” they screamed.
“Good,” he said, “because I didn’t!”
That bat’s nocturnal adventure was one for the books, but now it’s time for a lighter laugh. This next joke involves flowers, sympathy, and a classic case of mixed messages that’ll leave you grinning.
The Florist’s Card Mix-Up
A store owner was thrilled to receive a bouquet of flowers on the opening day of his new business.
A bouquet with a card | Source: Pexels
However, his excitement turned to confusion when he read the card attached: “Deepest Sympathy.”
Puzzled, the man called the florist to report the mistake. The florist apologized profusely and said, “I’m so sorry about that! Your card must have been sent to the funeral home instead.”
The store owner asked, “What did that card say?”
A man holding a note while making a phone call | Source: Pexels
The florist replied, “‘Congratulations on your new location.'”
Florists may have their missteps, but wait until you hear about this lawyer with a name that’s as clever as his joke. This next tale is all about wordplay and a fitting tribute with a punchline to match.
The Honest Lawyer
A lawyer named Strange ordered a tombstone inscribed, “Here lies an honest man and a lawyer.”
The stonecutter refused, saying, “It’s illegal to bury two people in one grave. But I can write, ‘Here lies an honest lawyer.'”
A man ordering a tombstone | Source: Midjourney
The lawyer protested, “How will people know it’s me?”
The stonecutter replied, “Easy. They’ll read it and say, ‘That’s Strange!'”
We’ve had clever wordplay and hilarious mix-ups, but now it’s time to finish strong with a tale of extreme conditions and an unexpected celebration. Buckle up for this finale that’s sure to leave you laughing out loud.
The Farmer in Hell
A farmer from Texas found himself in hell after he passed away. The Devil was surprised to find the farmer unfazed and smiling in the heat.
A farmer relaxing in Hell | Source: Midjourney
“Why are you so happy?” asked the Devil.
The farmer replied, “This feels just like a hot June day back home when I’m plowing my fields.”
Annoyed, the Devil increased the heat to 105 degrees with stifling humidity. Yet the farmer continued to smile no matter how high the Devil cranked up the heat.
Finally, the Devil decided to freeze hell over, setting the temperature to a bone-chilling -10 degrees.
Frozen lava | Source: Midjourney
To the Devil’s surprise, the farmer began running around and shouting with joy.
“What are you so happy about now?” the Devil demanded.
The farmer shouted, “The Cowboys must’ve won the Super Bowl!”
Whether it’s a parrot outsmarting a burglar or a farmer making the Devil sweat, these stories are sure to brighten your day.
Two women laughing together | Source: Pexels
So, share them with friends, family, or coworkers, and keep the laughter going. After all, life’s too short not to laugh out loud!
Keep the laughs coming with these jokes about bars, jobs, and quirky animals.
Woman Claims to Spend 3 Days in Heaven, Returns with Profound Message
Julie Poole, a woman who claims to have “died and spent three days in heaven,” has been sharing the profound and chilling messages she received from what she describes as “angelic beings” in a “higher realm.” Her story begins at 21 when, overwhelmed by years of emotional, physical, mental, and sexual abuse, she attempted suicide by overdosing on medication. What followed, according to Poole, was not the end of her life but a transformative experience that has shaped her beliefs and career as a spiritual guide.
After her overdose, Poole describes being “dead” for three days, during which time she visited what she calls the “higher realm.” There, she says she was greeted by spiritual beings, who were not only her guides but also messengers of mankind’s future. Among these beings was a “white shimmery figure” who enlightened her with visions of what was to come for humanity. According to Poole, these otherworldly beings revealed to her that she wasn’t destined to die that day, even though she believed she was ready to leave the pain of her life behind. They told her, “It’s not your time,” and sent her back to her earthly body, but not without a clear message: she would return to the higher realm at the age of 67.
Now in her early 60s, Poole says that she only has a few years left to live, based on this prophetic message. She continues to share the lessons she received during her time “in heaven,” claiming that these revelations were meant to guide humanity toward a more enlightened future. One of the key messages she received was about the purpose of her own suffering. According to Poole, the spirits told her that before she was born, she had chosen a life filled with hardship in order to “clear karma” from previous lives. Despite their warnings that such a life would be difficult, she accepted the challenge, believing it was a necessary step in balancing her spiritual debts.
“They warned me it would be too hard and too overwhelming,” Poole recalls. “But I chose this life anyway. And now here I was at 21, trying to check out… and they had to heal me enough to send me back.” The spirits emphasized to her that part of her mission in life was to forgive—herself and others—because forgiveness, they said, is one of the highest vibrational forms of love.
In addition to her personal journey of healing and forgiveness, Poole was also given a glimpse of what she calls the “Golden Age” for humanity, a future era of peace, equality, and spiritual awakening. She was told that this age was already in progress and would occur between 2012 and 2032. According to Poole, this Golden Age would bring an end to the power struggles, corruption, and control that have defined human history for millennia. “The beings told me that for so long, power and control had been concentrated in the hands of a few, while the masses were left to suffer under this imbalance,” she explains. “But in the Golden Age, all that is false and corrupt will fall away, and humanity will experience true equality.”
Poole’s guides told her that the shift toward this Golden Age would not be marked by dramatic cataclysms or “Armageddon” but would instead involve the gradual unraveling of the systems that have oppressed humanity. “This isn’t about the end of the world,” Poole says. “It’s about the end of the old ways. The power structures that have stifled human potential will crumble, and people will be free to live with greater truth, love, and fairness.”
She also claims that individuals like herself—those who have had near-death experiences or spiritual awakenings—are being sent back to Earth with a mission: to share these messages of hope and help humanity transition into this new era. Poole says her role is to help others understand the significance of the changes ahead and to encourage them to embrace forgiveness and compassion as tools for personal and collective healing.
But Poole’s revelations don’t stop there. She also believes that extraterrestrial beings play a key role in this transformative period for humanity. According to her, “ETs,” or beings of light, have been visiting Earth for many years, helping humanity in ways that most people are not aware of. These extraterrestrial beings, Poole says, are far more advanced than humans—technologically, spiritually, and in every other way. She insists that they have been closely monitoring humanity’s progress and will intervene if necessary to prevent global catastrophes.
One specific example Poole gives is the potential threat of nuclear warfare. She claims that if world leaders ever become “trigger-happy” with nuclear weapons, these advanced extraterrestrial beings will step in to stop it. “They will not let us blow ourselves up,” Poole asserts. “They will not let us destroy this planet. They will step in if we push things too far.”
While Poole’s claims are certainly extraordinary, they have also earned her a following. She has built a career as a “spiritual master” and life coach, helping people navigate their own journeys of healing and personal growth. Through her YouTube channel and other platforms, Poole continues to share her story and the insights she believes she received during her near-death experience.
Now in her early 60s and with only a few years left before the age she was told she would return to the higher realm, Poole remains focused on her spiritual mission. She believes that her purpose on Earth is to prepare others for the coming changes, helping them to release old patterns of fear, anger, and division, and embrace a higher vibration of love and forgiveness.
As she reflects on her life and the messages she received, Poole is clear on one thing: the future of humanity, while uncertain, holds great promise. She remains convinced that the Golden Age is near, and she feels privileged to have been given a glimpse of it during her time in the higher realm. For Julie Poole, the lessons of her near-death experience continue to shape her life and guide her work as she prepares for whatever comes next—both in this world and the next.
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