Ever find yourself needing a quick pick-me-up during a long day? Laughter is the perfect antidote to stress and boredom. This collection of 11 jokes is sure to deliver a healthy dose of humor.
Get ready to chuckle your way through these hilarious jokes about everything from bar buddies to blundering farmers. Whether you’re a fan of witty wordplay or quirky animal antics, there’s something here to tickle everyone’s funny bone.
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform waddling into a bar | Source: Midjourney
1. Drink Down
A guy walks into a bar and orders two shots. He drinks both and leaves. He does the same thing every day for a while.
One day, the bartender asks, “Why do you always order two shots?”
The guy says, “My brother and I used to drink together all the time, but now he lives far away. So, one shot is for me, and one is for him.”
Two brothers laughing while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
This goes on for a while, and then one day the guy only orders one shot.
The bartender worries and asks, “What happened? Is your brother okay?”
The guy replies, “Yeah, he’s fine. I just quit drinking.”
Man looking sad while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
2. Penguin Parade
A police officer stopped a semi-truck driver and asked for his license and registration. The officer heard odd sounds from the trailer and decided to inspect it. He found 50 penguins inside.
“Why are there 50 penguins in your truck?” the officer asked.
“They’re my buddies,” the driver replied. “We enjoy traveling together.”
“You can’t just own 50 penguins,” the officer said. “You need to take them to the zoo.”
Police officer frowning next to a semi-truck holding a notepad | Source: Midjourney
The driver agreed and drove away. The next day, the same officer stopped the same truck and heard the same strange noises. He checked the trailer and found the same 50 penguins.
“I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” the officer exclaimed.
“I did!” the driver responded. “They had a great time. Today, we’re going to the beach.”
Penguins walking through a regular sunny beach | Source: Midjourney
3. The Plasterer
A duck waddled into a pub and asked for a beer and a ham sandwich.
The bartender stared and said, “Hold on a sec! You’re a duck!”
“That’s pretty obvious,” the duck replied.
“And you talk!” shouted the bartender.
“And you hear well!” the duck said. “Now, about that beer and sandwich?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform sitting at a bar eating a sandwich | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, right, sorry,” the bartender said, pouring the duck’s beer. “We don’t get many ducks around here. What brings you in?”
“I’m working at that construction site over there,” the duck explained. “I’m a plasterer.”
The bartender was surprised, but let the duck be when he pulled out a newspaper to read.
The duck read the paper, ate his food, and left. He did this every day for two weeks.
A duck sitting at a bar reading a newspaper | Source: Midjourney
Then, the circus came to town. The circus manager came into the pub, and the bartender said, “Hey, you’re with the circus, right? I know a duck who’d be a star in your show! He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the paper… he’s amazing!”
“Is that right?” the circus manager said, handing the bartender his card. “Tell him to give me a call.”
The next day, when the duck came in, the bartender said, “Hey Mr. Duck, I think I found you a fantastic job that pays really well.”
“I’m always interested in new opportunities,” the duck said. “Where is it?”
“At the circus,” the bartender answered.
A circus in a field | Source: Midjourney
“The circus?” the duck asked.
“Yep,” said the bartender.
“The circus?” the duck asked again. “The one with the big tent?”
“Exactly!” said the bartender.
“With the animals in cages and people living in trailers?” asked the duck.
“That’s the one,” said the bartender.
“And the tent is made of that heavy fabric with a hole at the top?” the duck asked.
“That’s right!” said the bartender.
The duck shook his head and said, “Why would they need a plasterer?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform working as a plasterer | Source: Midjourney
4. Slowpoke Centipede
A man saw a sign at a pet store that said, “Talking Centipede $100.” He thought it was cool and bought it. When he got home, he opened the box and asked the centipede if it wanted to grab a beer. The centipede didn’t say anything, so the man thought he got ripped off.
After a while, he tried again. He shouted, “Want to go get a beer?” The centipede popped out of the box and said, “Be quiet! I heard you the first time! I’m putting my shoes on!”
A fairytale version of a centipede talking and putting on shoes inside a box | Source: Midjourney
5. Hell’s Handyman
An engineer died and went to Hell.
The devil was shocked because engineers don’t usually go there. Hell was a mess: the AC was busted, the pool was empty, and everything was broken.
The engineer got to work fixing things. He fixed the AC, filled the pool, and even made the roads better.
God saw that everyone in Hell was having fun, which wasn’t right. He asked the devil what was going on.
A cartoon version of God in Hell looking confused because people are having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
The devil said, “That engineer you sent here has been fixing everything. He’s made Hell a nice place!”
God said, “What? Engineers don’t belong in Hell! That was a mistake. Send him back so I can put him in Heaven!”
The devil said, “No way, we like him here.”
God said, “Send him back, or I’ll sue you!”
The devil laughed and said, “Where are you going to find a lawyer?”
A cartoon version of the devil in Hell shrugging with people having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
6. The Big-Time Lawyer
Joe left his small town to go to college and law school. He became a lawyer and went back to his hometown because he wanted to be a big deal there.
He opened his own office, but no one came at first. One day, he saw a man walking toward his office. Joe wanted to impress this man, so he pretended to be on the phone.
A man sitting on a desk in a tiny office talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
When the man walked in, Joe started talking loudly on the phone, saying things like, “No way! Tell those guys in New York I want $1 million! I’m going to court next week! My team is the best! We’re going to win for sure! Yeah, the judge already knows I’m right! No, I don’t care what they offer, we’re not backing down!”
He talked like this for a long time while the man waited. Finally, Joe hung up the phone and said to the man, “Sorry I took so long, I’m really busy. What can I do for you?”
The man answered, “I’m here to install your phone line.”
Man in uniform standing by the doorway of an office | Source: Midjourney
7. Chick Magnet
A man from the city moved to the countryside and wanted to try farming. He went to the farm store and said, “I’ll take 100 baby chicks.”
The store worker gave him the chicks.
A week later, the man came back and said, “I need 200 baby chicks this time.” The worker gave him the chicks.
Another week passed, and the man returned. He said, “Give me 500 baby chicks.”
“Wow,” the worker said, “you must be doing great!”
A man dressed as a farmer smiling with small chicks nearby | Source: Midjourney
“Nope,” the man sighed. “I’m either putting them in the ground too deep or too far apart.”
8. Bachelors
Two single guys were chatting, and they started talking about cooking.
“I got a cookbook last year,” the first guy said, “but I couldn’t make anything from it.”
“Was it too hard?” the second guy asked.
“Totally! Every recipe started the same way: ‘Get a clean plate and…'”
A man holding a cookbook in a kitchen with a sink full of dirty plates | Source: Midjourney
9. Copy That?
A new worker was puzzled by the office shredder.
“Want some help?” offered a nearby secretary.
“Yes,” he said, “how do I use this?”
“Easy,” she replied, taking his thick report and putting it in the shredder.
“Thanks,” he smiled, “but what side do the copies come out?”
Man shrugging confused next to a paper shredder in an office hallway | Source: Midjourney
10. Whoa, Amen!
A man got lost in the desert. After wandering for weeks, he found a small house. He was tired and weak, so he crawled to the house and fainted.
The owner of the house, a kind and religious man, found him and helped him get better. When the man felt stronger, he asked for directions to the nearest town.
As he was leaving, he saw a horse. He asked the owner if he could borrow it. The owner agreed but said, “To make the horse go, say ‘Thank God.’ To make it stop, say ‘Amen.'”
A horse drinking water from a puddle next to a small house in a deserted area | Source: Midjourney
The man didn’t really listen and said, “Okay, sure.” He got on the horse and said, “Thank God,” and the horse started walking. He said, “Thank God, thank God,” and the horse started running. Feeling brave, the man shouted, “Thank God, thank God, thank God!” and the horse went even faster.
Suddenly, he saw a cliff ahead. He tried to stop the horse, yelling, “Whoa, stop!” Then he remembered, “Amen!”
The horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff. The man took a deep breath and said, “Thank God.”
Man looking scared riding a horse | Source: Midjourney
11. Nutty Natter
A man went into a bar and ordered a beer. As he was drinking, he heard a voice say, “Nice tie!” He looked around, but he and the bartender were the only ones there. Then the voice said, “I like your shirt!” Confused, the man called the bartender over.
“Am I losing it?” he asked. “I keep hearing voices telling me nice things, but no one else is here.”
“It’s the peanuts,” the bartender answered.
“What?” the man asked.
“The peanuts,” the bartender said again. “They’re complimentary.”
Peanuts in a smiley face bowl on a bar counter | Source: Midjourney
I Was Excited to Meet My Daughter’s Fiancé, but One Look at Him Changed Everything and I Knew This Wedding Couldn’t Happen — Story of the Day
I had been waiting for months to meet my daughter’s fiancé, imagining the perfect introduction. But when I opened the door and saw him, my excitement vanished. This wasn’t what I expected. I knew, in that moment, this wedding couldn’t happen. I had to stop it—no matter what it took.
I had been running around the kitchen all day like a madwoman because today was important—Kira was finally bringing her fiancé and his parents over for dinner.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
I had dreamed of this moment for months, picturing how we’d sit together, laughing over stories, bonding as future in-laws.
But for some reason, Kira had avoided it, always coming up with excuses. “They’re busy, Mom.” “Another time, I promise.” It didn’t make sense. What could be so hard about introducing us?
But now, she had no choice. Marcus had proposed. It was official. And that meant I was meeting him—and his family—whether she liked it or not.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
Bradley sat at the table, flipping through the newspaper, watching me with amusement.
“Sit down for a minute, Jessica,” he kept saying.
I waved him off. “I don’t have time to sit! The roast is in the oven, the table’s not set, and the flowers—where are the flowers?”
Just as I started setting the food on the table, the doorbell rang. My heart pounded. This was it.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“Oh God, they’re here!” I shouted, yanking off my apron and tossing it onto the counter.
Bradley barely looked up from his chair. “I’ll get it,” he said, calm as ever.
“No!” I rushed to his side. “We have to greet them together!”
Bradley sighed but stood up. I grabbed his arm and straightened my dress, forcing the brightest smile I could manage.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“Can I open it now?” he asked.
I nodded.
Bradley pulled the door open. There stood Kira, glowing with excitement, her fiancé Marcus beside her, and behind them, his parents. My smile froze. My breath caught. My heart sank.
They were Black.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
I blinked, trying to process what I saw. My mind spun. This wasn’t what I had expected. I glanced at Bradley. His face had gone stiff.
“Mom?” Kira’s voice snapped me back to reality. “Are you going to invite our guests inside?”
“Yes, of course,” I said quickly, my voice strained. I stepped aside, letting them in.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
I led them to the dining table, but my hands trembled. My thoughts raced. I needed a moment.
“Excuse me,” I said. “I just need to bring out a few more dishes. Kira, come help me.” I turned to Bradley. “You too.”
Kira hesitated but followed me. Bradley trailed behind.
As soon as the kitchen door swung shut, I turned to Kira.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“Is there something you forgot to tell us?”
She frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Your fiancé is Black!” The words burst out before I could stop them.
“Yes, Mom. I know.” Her voice was calm, but her eyes hardened.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“Why didn’t you tell us?” I demanded.
“Because I knew how you’d react,” she said, crossing her arms. “Just give Marcus a chance. He’s a good man, and his family is wonderful.”
Bradley’s voice cut through the air. “My daughter is not marrying a Black man.”
“That’s not your decision to make!” Kira shot back. Her voice shook, but she stood firm. “Can you two just act normal for one night?”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
Without another word, she stormed out.
Bradley and I carried the dishes to the table in silence. No one spoke much during dinner, though Kira and Marcus did their best to keep the conversation going. The air felt heavy. Every bite tasted like nothing.
After dinner, Kira pulled out her childhood photo albums. She laughed as she showed Marcus old pictures. I watched them from across the room, my stomach tight.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
Beside me, Marcus’s mother, Betty, leaned in. “What do you think of them as a couple?”
I hesitated. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not racist,” I said, lowering my voice. “I just think Kira would be better off with someone… more like her.”
Betty nodded. “I completely agree. I don’t think they’re a good match either. Marcus would be better off with someone who understands our… culture.”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
I exhaled, relieved. “You’re reading my mind.”
Betty straightened. “We can’t let this wedding happen.”
“No, we can’t,” I agreed.
From that day on, Betty and I formed an unspoken alliance.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
We both wanted what was best for our children—or at least, what we believed was best.
We picked fights over everything. Betty criticized Kira’s dress choice, saying it didn’t fit their traditions.
I argued with Marcus over the menu, insisting Kira wouldn’t be happy with his family’s preferences.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
When it came to the church, Betty and I nearly came to blows. She wanted the ceremony at their family church, I wanted it at ours. We disagreed on music, guest lists, even the seating arrangement.
But none of it worked. The more we pushed, the stronger Kira and Marcus became. Instead of seeing their differences, they only clung to each other harder.
So, we had to be smarter.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
I arranged a “harmless” lunch for Kira with my colleague’s son, a polite young man with a stable career and good family values.
Meanwhile, Betty set up a meeting between Marcus and a woman from their church, someone she believed would be a “better fit.”
Of course, we never called them dates. That would have raised suspicion. We just needed them to show up.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
That evening, we gathered at Betty and Rod’s house. Bradley and I arrived early, and while Betty and I whispered about our plan, I noticed something odd—Bradley and Rod were sitting in front of the TV, laughing over beers.
When I got Bradley alone, I hissed, “What’s going on?”
He shrugged. “What? We root for the same team. Rod’s a good guy.”
I narrowed my eyes. “You’re supposed to be on my side!”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“I am,” he said, taking another sip.
I heard the front door swing open and slam shut. Heavy footsteps echoed through the house.
My heart pounded. I rushed into the living room, where Betty was already standing, her arms crossed, her face tense.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
Kira and Marcus stood in front of us, their eyes burning with anger.
“Are you out of your minds?!” Marcus yelled, his voice shaking.
Kira turned to me, her face red. “Our wedding is in a week, and you’re setting me up on a date?”
I opened my mouth, but Betty spoke first. “We just wanted what’s best for you.”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
Kira let out a bitter laugh. “Best for me? You think lying to me, tricking me, humiliating me is what’s best?”
I took a deep breath. “You could both find someone more… suitable,” I said, keeping my voice calm.
Kira’s whole body stiffened. “I don’t care what color his skin is! I love Marcus. I want to be with him.”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
Marcus stepped forward. “And I love Kira. I don’t want to be with anyone else.”
I looked at Betty. She looked at me. We both stood there, silent.
“We were only doing what we thought was right,” I said finally.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“Exactly,” Betty agreed, nodding.
Kira shook her head, an empty laugh escaping her lips. “You keep saying how different we are, how we shouldn’t be together. But look at you two! You’re exactly the same. Stubborn, manipulative, always scheming.” She turned to me, her voice sharp. “Mom, you spend more time with Betty than your own friends.”
I opened my mouth to respond. “You don’t understand—”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
Kira cut me off. “No, you don’t understand! I’m marrying Marcus. Whether you like it or not. Accept it.” She turned, glancing at the couch where Dad sat with Rod, watching the game, laughing like nothing was wrong. “Even Dad is sitting here drinking beer with Rod. If he can accept it, why can’t you?”
I swallowed hard.
“If you can’t accept it, don’t come to the wedding,” Kira said.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“That goes for you too,” Marcus told Betty, his voice firm.
Then, without another word, they turned and walked out the door.
The silence that followed was thick. No one spoke. No one moved. A moment later, Bradley let out a deep sigh, turned off the TV, and stood up. “Time to go,” he muttered.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
I saw the look in his eyes. Disappointment. Not in Kira. In me.
That week, I called Kira. I texted. No response. The silence stretched.
On the night of the rehearsal dinner, I walked into the bedroom and found Bradley tying his tie.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“To the rehearsal dinner,” he said, straightening his collar.
“You can’t go!” I snapped.
He turned to me. His voice was calm, but his eyes were firm. “My only daughter is getting married, and I’m not missing it.”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
Then, he walked out the door.
I stood there, staring at the empty space he left behind. My chest felt tight.
Finally, I gave in. I found myself outside the restaurant, watching through the window. Kira and Marcus moved through the guests, glowing, smiling, happy.
A familiar voice spoke beside me. “You couldn’t sit at home either, huh?”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
I turned. Betty stood next to me, arms crossed.
“I’ve been trying to catch them to apologize,” she admitted. “But they’re too busy.”
I sighed. “We should wait. No need to ruin their evening now.”
Betty exhaled sharply. “But we have to apologize. I want to be allowed to see my future grandson.”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
I crossed my arms. “Granddaughter. In our family, girls are always born first.”
Betty scoffed. “Not in ours. It’s always boys.”
For the first time in weeks, I laughed. We were already arguing over grandchildren who didn’t even exist yet.
I looked at her. She looked at me.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, we’re going to have a rough time together, mother-in-law,” I said, shaking my head.
“Tell me about it,” Betty muttered.
Then, she sighed, watching Kira and Marcus. “But as long as they’re happy, that’s all that matters.”
I nodded, my eyes fixed on my daughter. She looked happier than ever.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
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