Eight years of marriage shattered in one quick breath when my husband Mike brought home his pregnant sidekick and KICKED ME OUT of the house. I packed alright, but what I unpacked was a revenge plot so brilliant and karmic!
Portrait of a sad young woman | Source: Midjourney
It was a Tuesday evening when my life decided to go off the rails. I walked into our living room, tired from a long day at work, only to find a heavily pregnant woman sitting on our couch, eating chips.
At first, I thought maybe I’d accidentally wandered into the wrong house.
But no, there was our ugly floral wallpaper that Mike insisted on keeping, and there was Mike, looking like he’d just swallowed a porcupine.
A pregnant woman sitting on the couch | Source: Midjourney
“Hey, Michelle,” he said, his voice as casual as if he was asking me to pass the salt. “We need to talk.”
I stood there, frozen, my brain trying to compute the scene before me. The pregnant woman smiled awkwardly, her hand on her belly, looking like she was auditioning for a soap opera.
“This is Jessica,” Mike continued, gesturing to the human incubator on our couch. “She’s pregnant. With my child. It… it just happened. And we’ve decided to be together.”
A woman gaping in shock | Source: Midjourney
I waited for the punchline. Surely, this was some elaborate prank for a new reality TV show. Maybe I’d win a car if I didn’t freak out?
But Mike’s face remained serious, and Jessica kept smiling that infuriating smile.
“Mike,” I said slowly, “what do you mean by ‘it just happened’? Did you trip and fall into her—?”
Mike had the audacity to look offended. “Enough, Michelle! This is serious. I think it’s best if you move out. You can go stay with your mom. Jess and I’ll take over the house.”
A serious-looking man sitting on the couch | Source: Midjourney
I blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. Nope, still not a dream.
I was half-expecting Ashton Kutcher to jump out and tell me I’d been Punk’d. But alas, no Ashton. Just my cheating husband and his very pregnant sidekick.
“Alright,” I calmly said. “I’ll pack my things and leave.”
Mike looked relieved, probably thinking he’d gotten off easy. Jessica’s smile grew wider, like she’d just won the lottery. Little did they know, the lottery was about to hit them back, and hit them hard.
A heartbroken woman at the doorway | Source: Midjourney
I went upstairs, packed a suitcase with some essentials, and left without another word.
As I drove to my mom’s house, the shock wore off, and rage took its place. But this wasn’t just any rage. This was the kind of rage that makes you want to do something spectacularly stupid and incredibly satisfying.
The next day, I set my plan in motion.
First stop: the bank. I marched in there like a woman on a mission, which I was. I froze our joint account faster than you can say “cheating jerk.”
The look on the bank manager’s face when I explained why was priceless. I’m pretty sure he was mentally taking notes for his next novel.
A woman outside a bank | Source: Midjourney
Next, I visited a locksmith.
I remembered overhearing Mike tell Jessica they’d be gone for three days, giving me plenty of time to execute my master plan. It was like the universe was conspiring in my favor, and who was I to argue with destiny?
My next stop: my house. The same cozy house Mike and I once lived together, planning a future that was now a total trainwreck.
The puzzled locksmith probably thought I was crazy, cackling as I had him change all the locks on the house. I may have gone a bit overboard and asked for the most complicated, high-tech locks available. Hey, if I was going to do this, I was going to do it right. And big.
A locksmith fixing a door lock | Source: Midjourney
Then came the movers.
I gave them the spare keys and scheduled them to pack up everything I owned, which was basically everything in the house. I even took the toilet paper. Let’s see how Mike and Jessica enjoy using leaves!
But the piece de resistance? Oh, that was yet to come. I had a brilliant idea that would make this revenge not just sweet, but long-lasting.
Toilet paper rolls in a basket | Source: Midjourney
I sent out party invitations. Lots of them. To Mike’s family, our friends, his coworkers, even that nosy neighbor who always complained about our late dog.
The invitation read: “Come celebrate Mike’s new life! Surprise party at our house, tomorrow at 7 p.m.!”
A party invitation | Source: Midjourney
Then, I commissioned a billboard. Yes, a billboard. A huge one. It was delivered and set up on our front lawn, impossible to miss.
In giant, bold letters, it proclaimed: “Congratulations on Dumping Me for Your Pregnant Mistress, Mike! Hope the Baby Doesn’t Inherit Your Infidelity!”
I stepped back to admire my handiwork, feeling like a mischievous fairy godmother who’d just granted the world’s most ironic wish. With a satisfied smirk and a dramatic hair flip, I sashayed away from the scene, eagerly anticipating the chaos that was about to unfold.
A billboard outside a house | Source: Midjourney
The next evening, right on cue, my phone rang. It was Mike, and he sounded like he was having an aneurysm.
“Michelle!” he screeched, his voice hitting octaves I didn’t know he could reach. “What the hell is going on? Why are there people at our house? And what’s with this insane billboard?”
“Oh, that?” I said, trying to sound innocent. “Just a little housewarming party for you and Jessica. Don’t you like the decorations?”
“Decorations? It’s a freaking circus out here! And why can’t I get into the house?”
A startled man talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
I couldn’t help but giggle. “Well, honey, you told me to move out, remember? You never said anything about you staying there. I just remembered that the house is solely under my name. So, I changed the locks. Oopsie!”
There was a long silence on the other end. I could almost hear the gears in his tiny brain trying to process what was happening.
“Where are we supposed to go?” he finally sputtered.
“Gee, I don’t know, Mike. Maybe Jessica’s mom would love to have you? I hear pregnancy hormones and in-laws mix really well.”
A smiling woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
I hung up, feeling lighter than I had in years. But wait, there was more!
In the days that followed, I had the utilities cut off, canceled the cable, and made sure all our joint assets were transferred into my name. I listed the house for sale, making sure to mention in the listing that it came with a “bonus front lawn art installation.”
I had Mike served with divorce papers at work. I specifically requested the mailman to dress up as a pregnant woman. Just for funsies.
But the universe wasn’t done with Mike yet. Oh no, it had saved the best for last.
A man gaping in shock as he holds some papers | Source: Midjourney
A week later, I got a call from Jessica. Yes, that Jessica. She was crying so hard I could barely understand her.
“Michelle,” she sobbed, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know… I mean, Mike told me you two were separated. And now… now he’s broke and homeless, and I’m pregnant, and I don’t know what to do!”
I almost felt bad for her. Almost.
“Well, Jessica,” I said, trying to keep the glee out of my voice, “I hear the circus is always looking for new acts. Maybe you two could start a juggling duo? You juggle the baby, he juggles his lies?”
She didn’t appreciate my humor. Tsk! Tsk!
Silhouette of a pregnant woman holding a smartphone | Source: Midjourney
As it turns out, when Jessica found out that Mike was now homeless, broke, and the laughingstock of the town, she decided that maybe being with a guy who had no money, no house, and no future wasn’t such a great idea after all.
She dumped him faster than you can say “Karma’s a b****!”
Last I heard, Mike was living in a tiny apartment, trying to scrape together enough money to pay bills and feed his hungry belly. His family had cut him off, disgusted by his behavior.
They even sent me a fruit basket and a sorry card. I ate the fruits while soaking in my new jacuzzi.
As for me? Well, the house sold for a nice profit. I moved to a beautiful new place, started my own business, and adopted a cat. I named him Karma.
A woman with her pet cat | Source: Midjourney
So yeah, my revenge might have been a bit over the top. But let’s be real, bringing home a pregnant mistress and trying to kick me out of my own house? That’s not just crossing a line, that’s pole-vaulting over it and then setting the pole on fire.
In the end, I learned a valuable lesson: When life gives you lemons, don’t just make lemonade. Squeeze those lemons into the eyes of those who wronged you, and then sit back and watch them stumble around blindly. It’s much more satisfying.
And remember, folks: cheaters never prosper, but the cheated-on with a good sense of humor and a flair for the dramatic? Oh, we do just fine!
A cheerful woman smiling | Source: Midjourney
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
Sir Elton John, 76, raises his two sons not to be spoiled as they already do chores for some pocket money
David Furnish, Sir Elton John’s spouse, and they have been together for more than 20 years. The couple is also raising their two boys, Zackary and Elijah, to be modest and aware of the worth of money.
Famed artist Sir Elton John has released thirty-two albums to far and shows no signs of slowing down. Even at seventy-three, the vocalist continues to be in high demand.
David Furnish and Sir Elton John in London in 2001 | Photo courtesy of Getty Images
Despite having a successful career for more than thirty years, the musician wants to concentrate on other areas of his life, such as his marriage to David Furnish and his two sons, Zachary and Elijah.
A brief romance blossomed between John and Furnish in 1993, before their lives got consumed with parenting their sons. The singer of “Sacrifice” announced that he had moved back into his Windsor home and was looking to socialize.
John then requested a friend to invite Furnish and other individuals to dinner, saying he felt an immediate connection with Furnish. John admired how well-groomed and reserved he was.
After going on a date the next day, the two’s long-term relationship officially started. After nine years of being in a civil partnership, they made the decision to tie the knot in 2014.
The pair used Instagram to send out invites. The highlight of the day was spending time with their sons, who had the important duty of serving as ring carriers.
Furnish and John found great joy in sharing their partnership with their children, particularly considering the difficult road they had to go to become parents. It all began in 2009 when they were acquainted at an HIV orphanage with a young boy from Ukraine named Lev.
Lev came from a shattered family, so the couple wanted to help him, but the government wouldn’t let it because he was too old. Still, the couple assisted Lev and spoke with him.
John came to the realization that he may be a father after meeting Lev. He acknowledged that he had always believed he was too old to have children. Zachary, their first son, was born in 2010 through a surrogate, and Elijah followed in 2013.
Bringing Up Children Outside of the Media
The couple desired to be actively involved with their children while leading a hectic lifestyle. “We don’t want to entrust housekeepers and nannies with raising our kids,” Furnish stated. The couple decided that having boys was the best course of action, and now their primary objective is to raise their sons in a happy and healthy environment.
John expressed to his sons in a touching letter how much they had altered his life. “You two are the best gifts I have ever received, Zachary and Elijah. In ways I never imagined imaginable, you have given my life meaning and purpose and filled my heart with love,” the singer added.
Furnish and John are content with the lovely family they have created. The love and support their children will always have from their parents is something they do not want them to forget as they grow older.
John talked candidly about how becoming a parent has altered his outlook on life and some of the values he and his spouse want their kids to grow up with.
John talked about how having children affected his attitude toward money. Having two children of his own now, he values his time with Zachary and Elijah more than a popular song or artwork.
The singer acknowledged that because he and Furnish were used to living as the center of attention, they had spent a lot of money before having children. However, John claimed that since their sons arrived, they had drastically cut back on their spending.
The couple’s current concern is ensuring that they own only what they require. Additionally, the couple has been instilling in their kids the importance of money and the labor required to acquire it.
Although John is aware that his kids have a privileged existence already, he still wishes they had humility. The artist has stated that he does not intend to leave them his whole estate as a result. Rather, he aims to strike a balance between providing his kids with a wonderful life and keeping them grounded. He thought to himself:
Naturally, I would like to leave my boys in a very secure financial situation. But giving children a silver spoon is a poor idea. Their lives is ruined by it.
John has attempted to instill in the boys an appreciation for money since they were young children. Zachary and Elijah may not have realized how well-known their parents were at the age of five and three, but John and Furnish did teach them a valuable lesson about budgeting.
The singer said in 2016 that doing chores around the house, such the kitchen or garden, would earn them £3 ($3.74) in pocket money. Each coin would then be divided between savings, spending, and charity. As they grew older, their responsibilities included tidying their rooms, and they received stars for each task completed.
Although the couple is aware that their children would not have a typical childhood, they nevertheless make an effort to give their lives some degree of normalcy. According to John, his children are “not stuck behind the gates of a mansion,” but rather live like locals.
When questioned if he was afraid of having his kids in the spotlight, he replied that he knew there would be drawbacks but that he didn’t mind at all because he thought people were “brilliant” and “not hostile,” especially when they wanted to see pictures of him and his family.
The musician and his spouse would take their kids to the movies or out for pizza because they want them to spend quality time with their family somewhere else than their mansion.
Because of his celebrity, John does not want to miss out on special times with his kids. The musician is also prompt in picking up and dropping off his youngsters at school.
Elton John Flaunts His Offspring
The “Rocket Man” singer posted a unique picture of Furnish, their sons, and their godmother, Lady Gaga, on social media, while John and his spouse typically don’t post any pictures of their sons online. The musician conveyed his love despite expressing his regret at missing the opportunity to picture with them.
On Elton John’s page, leave a remark | Source: Instagram/eltonjohn
Fans expressed disbelief at Zachary and Elijah’s growth in the comment section. “However, the boys are growing quite tall.” Very attractive tiny fellas, a commenter commented. Another admirer exclaimed, “Look at these gorgeous boys and their pappa and Godma!”
John expressed to his sons in a touching letter how much they had altered his life. “You two are the best gifts I have ever received, Zachary and Elijah. In ways I never imagined imaginable, you have given my life meaning and purpose and filled my heart with love,” the singer added.
Furnish and John are content with the lovely family they have created. The love and support their children will always have from their parents is something they do not want them to forget as they grow older.
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