I was stunned when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of blowing up, I played along. Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his newfound approach to marriage.
I’ve always prided myself on being the level-headed one in our marriage. Jake, bless his heart, could get swept up in things pretty easily, whether it was a new hobby, or some random YouTube video that promised to change his life in three easy steps.
But we were solid until Jake met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loudly opinionated made him right, the type that talks right over you when you try to correct him.
He was also a perpetually single guy (who could have guessed?), who graciously dispensed relationship advice to all his married colleagues, Jake included. Jake should’ve known better, but my darling husband was positively smitten with Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t think much of it until Jake started making some noxious comments.
“Steve says relationships work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” he’d say. Or “Steve thinks it’s important for women to look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I’d roll my eyes and reply with some sarcastic remark, but it was getting under my skin. Jake was changing. He’d arch his eyebrows if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and sigh when I let the laundry pile up because, God forbid, I had my own full-time job.
And then it happened. One night, he came home with The List.
He sat me down at the kitchen table, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across to me.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started, his voice dripping with a condescending tone I hadn’t heard from him before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa. But there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, oblivious to the danger zone he was entering. “Yeah. Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I stared at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule… and he’d written “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife” at the top in bold.
This guy had actually sat down and mapped out my entire week based on what Steve — a single guy with zero relationship experience — thought I should do to “improve” myself as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast. Then I’d hit the gym for an hour to “stay in shape.”
After that? A delightful lineup of chores: cleaning, laundry, ironing. And that was all before I left for work. I was supposed to cook a meal from scratch every evening and make fancy snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over to hang out at our place.
The whole thing was sexist and insulting on so many levels I didn’t even know where to start. I ended up staring at him, wondering if my husband had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, oblivious.
“Steve says it’s important to maintain structure, and I think you could benefit from —”
“I could benefit from what?” I interrupted, my voice dangerously calm. Jake blinked, caught off guard by the interruption, but he recovered quickly.
“Well, you know, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw that paper in his face and ask him if he’d developed a death wish. Instead, I did something that surprised even me: I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m so lucky that you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
The relief on his face was instant. I almost felt sorry for him as I got up and stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I couldn’t help but smirk as I studied the ridiculous schedule again. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” then he was about to find out just how much structure our life could really handle.
I pulled out my laptop, opened up a fresh document, and titled it, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” He wanted a perfect wife? Fine. But there was a cost to perfection.
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I began by listing all the things he had suggested for me, starting with the gym membership he was so keen on. It was laughable, really.
“$1,200 for a personal trainer.” I typed, barely containing my giggle.
Next came the food. If Jake wanted to eat like a king, that wasn’t happening on our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That stuff didn’t come cheap.
“$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. He’d probably need to chip in for a cooking class too. Those were pricey, but hey, perfection wasn’t free.
I leaned back in my chair, laughing to myself as I imagined Jake’s face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. Oh no, the pièce de résistance was still to come.
See, there was no way I could juggle all these expectations while holding down my job. If Jake wanted me to dedicate myself full-time to his absurd routine, then he’d have to compensate for the loss of my income.
I pulled up a calculator, estimating the value of my salary. Then, I added it to the list, complete with a little note: “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time personal assistant, maid, and chef.”
My stomach hurt from laughing at this point.
And just for good measure, I threw in a suggestion about him needing to expand the house. After all, if he was going to have his friends over regularly, they’d need a dedicated space that wouldn’t intrude on my newly organized, impossibly structured life.
“$50,000 to build a separate ‘man cave’ so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s schedule.”
By the time I was done, the list was a masterpiece. A financial and logistical nightmare, sure, but a masterpiece nonetheless. It wasn’t just a counterattack — it was a wake-up call.
I printed it out, set it neatly on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he finally walked through the door that evening, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called out, dropping his keys on the counter. He spotted the paper almost immediately. “What’s this?”
I kept my face neutral, fighting the urge to laugh as I watched him pick it up. “Oh, it’s just a little list I put together for you,” I said sweetly, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
Jake chuckled, thinking I was playing along with his little game. But as he scanned the first few lines, the grin started to fade. I could see the wheels turning in his head, the slow realization that this wasn’t the lighthearted joke he thought it was.
“Wait… what is all this?” He squinted at the numbers, his eyes widening as he saw the total costs. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I leaned against the kitchen island, crossing my arms.
“Well, you want me to wake up at 5 a.m., hit the gym, make gourmet breakfasts, clean the house, cook dinner, and host your friends. I figured we should budget for all of that, don’t you think?”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?!”
I shrugged. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
He stared at the paper, dumbfounded.
The numbers, the absurdity of his own demands, it all hit him at once. His smugness evaporated, replaced by a dawning realization that he had seriously, seriously messed up.
“I… I didn’t mean…” Jake stammered, looking at me with wide eyes. “Lisa, I didn’t mean for it to be like this. I just thought —”
“You thought what? That I could ‘improve’ myself like some project?” My voice was calm, but the hurt behind it was real. “Jake, marriage isn’t about lists or routines. It’s about respect. And if you ever try to ‘fix’ me like this again, you’ll be paying a hell of a lot more than what’s on that paper.”
Silence hung in the air, thick and uncomfortable. Jake’s face softened, his shoulders slumping as he let out a deep sigh.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t realize how ridiculous it was. Steve made it sound sensible, but now I see it’s… it’s toxic. Oh God, I’ve been such a fool.”
I nodded, watching him carefully. “Yes, you have. Honestly, have you looked at Steve’s life? What makes you think he has the life experience to give you advice about marriage? Or anything else?”
The look on his face as my words hit home was priceless.
“You’re right. And he could never afford to live like this.” He slapped the list with the back of his hand. “He… he has no idea about the costs involved, or how demeaning this is. Oh, Lisa, I got carried away again, didn’t I?”
“Yes, but we’ll recover. Now, let’s tear that paper up and go back to being equals.”
He smiled weakly, the tension breaking just a little. “Yeah… let’s do that.”
We ripped up the list together, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like we were back on the same team.
Maybe this was what we needed, a reminder that marriage isn’t about one person being “better” than the other. It’s about being better together.
10 Celebrity Dads Who Are Shattering Stereotypes Like a Pro
Modern dads, including those in the spotlight, are shaking up traditional parenting roles. They’re becoming more involved at home and questioning old-fashioned views on what it means to be ‘manly.’ By openly talking about their parenting journeys, these well-known dads are setting an example.
1. Dwayne «The Rock» Johnson
On his social media, Dwayne Johnson posted a picture and expressed his dedication to fatherhood with a caption that read, «Regardless of where we’re at… when #2 happens with my baby girl… I’m the #1 man for the job. #TheWorkinMan #DaddysGotU.» He’s showing that no matter the situation, he’s always ready to step up for his daughter. He often shares photos of himself getting a makeover by his daughters or spending quality time with them.
2. David Beckham
Beckham spoke about his journey as a father. He said from the moment kids are born it’s a constant worry, but he wouldn’t change anything. He shared how time has gone by so quickly for him as a father, from the moment he was holding them in the hospital, to the next minute when they’re driving their car. But it’s the most special thing.
3. Johnny Knoxville
ohnny Knoxville reveals that after his daughter and her friend give him a makeover, he often goes out with them. The 53-year-old star posted a picture where he’s wearing a shiny blonde wig styled into a bob with bangs and topped with a tiara. But the makeover didn’t stop there. His 12-year-old daughter Arlo, and her friend, were the artists behind this playful look. Knoxville enjoys these moments and is happy to share them, even if it’s just indoors.
4. Stephen Curry
Stephen Curry spoke about how his kids aren’t impressed by his NBA career. He spoke about how when he’s home, he’s just Dad, and how he loves to watch them grow and blossom and support them. He said, «They like my goofiness and the way you just show up at home more than anything.»
5. Chris Hemsworth
In an interview, Chris spoke about his work-life balance. He talked about how having kids was more important to him, even though he felt some of his roles had suffered. When he reflected on his work, he felt as if he could’ve put more energy into a couple of films, but then said, «No, I’d rather be with my kids.»
6. Kevin Jonas
Kevin shared a post of his girls on social media. He wrote, «Being a father to these 2 amazing girls is the greatest job and honor of my life. Thank you for teaching me so much every day. To all the Dads out there be kind, love unconditionally, and don’t forget to be strong!»
7. Jeff Goldblum
Goldblum became a father later in life and when asked about being a dad, he spoke about how it was revitalizing and how it brought him closer to his wife. He also shared that it can be challenging at times and maddening but also sweet and amazing.
8. James Van Der Beek
James, a dad of six kids truly treasures spending time with them all — «For me, playing with the kids is so important. It’s good for them physically, it’s good for them mentally, and emotionally. It’s good for our relationship. But as any busy parent knows, if you don’t schedule that play, the odds of it happening dwindle.»
9. Jason Momoa
Jason Momoa shared his feelings about fatherhood in an interview. He said, «I always thought being a dad was cool! I always wanted to be a dad.» When speaking about his son, he spoke about how he wanted to connect with him and be open and vulnerable. And to embrace both the male and feminine sides of us that we all have.
10. Cristiano Ronaldo
Ronaldo shared the photo with the caption, «Funny moment with my babies.» In an interview, he was asked about his son also playing soccer. He said that he wasn’t going to push for him to be a soccer player. He wants him to be whatever he wants.
Some Hollywood dads are raising their kids as a single parent and doing a great job at it. Check them out here.
Preview photo credit therock / Instagram, therock / Instagram
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