Hannah here, hello to all of you. I feel compelled to tell this experience even if it is tough to do so. I am 38 years old, the mother of two wonderful children, ages five and seven, and I have been married to my husband, Luke, for almost ten years. Like any couple, we have faced our fair share of difficulties. But more than anything else we’ve experienced, something that occurred on our most recent trip to Mexico truly startled me.
Envision the following: we are in Mexico, surrounded by breathtaking beaches and exquisite weather. This excursion had me giddy with anticipation. Admittedly, I had meticulously prepared everything since, well, I rarely get a break as a mom.
Our goal for this time together was to rekindle our relationship, unwind, and simply enjoy each other’s company. But Luke was acting strangely from the beginning. He would always say no when I asked him to take a picture with me or of me.
He might say, “I’m not in the mood,” or, “Can we do it later?” I didn’t give it much thought at first. Perhaps he was simply fatigued from the journey? However, it continued to occur.
I was wearing a new outfit that I had purchased especially for the trip, and we were on this gorgeous beach. It’s not often that I feel good about myself, especially with two kids and everything. “Could you take a picture of me with the sunset?” I requested Luke.
“Not now, Hannah,” he muttered, with a sigh.
I scowled, a little offended. “Why not? It will just require a moment.
He yelled, “I said I’m not in the mood,” and turned to walk away.
That hurt. We’re on vacation, what gives him the excuse that he can’t stop and take a picture? I was perplexed and humiliated.
I saw that he was extra careful with his phone the whole trip. Every time I passed, he would conceal the screen and even carry it into the restroom. I tried to ignore the feeling in my gut that something wasn’t right.
Luke was taking a shower one afternoon when I noticed his phone on the bed. The moment I picked it up, my heart raced. I had to know even though I know it’s immoral to violate someone’s privacy. I browsed his recent messages on his phone and unlocked it immediately.
A group chat with his friends was there. And my blood ran cold at what I read. “Imagine, guys, at her weight, she still wants me to take pictures of her,” he had written. In what part of the picture would she possibly fit? She has changed significantly since having birth.
My eyes filled with tears, and I felt as though I was gasping for air. Behind my back, this man—the father of my children and the man I loved—was saying such harsh things. I believed we were a couple and that he accepted me for who I am, but instead he was making fun of me in front of his pals.
I sat there in shock, putting his phone back. How was he able to? I was heartbroken and deceived. Even though our marriage was far from ideal, I never would have guessed he had such low regard for me. I cried in private so the kids wouldn’t hear.
My tears eventually stopped flowing, and I started to feel angry instead. I would not allow him to escape punishment for this. I had to take action to demonstrate to him the repercussions of his statements. That’s when it dawned on me.
I pulled out my phone and looked through the pictures I had shot on the journey. Choosing my favorites, I shared them on Facebook with the comment, “Searching for a new travel companion.” Is my appearance so unappealing that even my spouse is reluctant to have me photographed?
The post started receiving likes and comments almost instantly. Several of my acquaintances and friends also sent encouraging remarks. They expressed their dismay at Luke’s actions and complimented my pictures, calling me gorgeous. I did not elaborate on the details of his remarks, but the meaning was evident.
Luke realized my mood had changed as he got out of the shower. “Is everything alright?” he inquired, perhaps detecting the anxiety.
“It’s just fine,” I answered, not taking my eyes off my phone. I was unable to look him in the eye since I was still so hurt and angry.
I was still in awe over Luke’s betrayal the following day. The things he had spoken about me stayed with me. However, something occurred that caused this already complex scenario to get much more difficult.
I had learned just before our vacation that my uncle—whom I had never met—had passed away and bequeathed a sizeable estate to me.
I thought it would be a happy surprise to tell Luke this news, so I had planned to do so during our trip. However, after learning the truth about his true feelings for me, I chose to keep it to myself.
Luke’s mother, who had learned about the inheritance, somehow passed the message to him that morning. I had just finished packing our things and was about to call the trip when Luke entered the room with a bouquet of flowers.
I had noticed his embarrassed expression on a few other occasions when he realized he had made a mistake.
He began, “Hannah, I’m so sorry for everything,” and held the flowers out. I accepted them silently, waiting to see what more he had to say.
“I know I’ve been a jerk,” he went on. That was not the right thing for me to say. However, my dear, you can hire a trainer and drop some weight with your newfound wealth.
I was astounded by what I heard. Did he really think that an apology and a recommendation that I use my inheritance to make myself different for him would be enough? Racked with fury, I shot out, “Maybe I will, Luke. nevertheless, not so you can stare at me.
His expression was so precious. He thought I would simply forgive him and go on. But I had had enough. This was it—my breaking moment. “Luke, I’m divorcing you,” I stated, maintaining a calm tone despite my internal conflict.
His mouth dropped open as his eyes grew wide. Then he started crying, which surprised me. He pleaded, “Please, Hannah, don’t leave me.” “Now that I don’t have your money, all my plans are ruined. I was going to buy a new SUV to go off-road with my friends.”
I was in disbelief. I realized then how little he thought of me. What my money could buy him was what mattered, not our bond or our family. I fixed a pitying yet determined glance on him.
You seem to cherish my money more than I do. You won’t use my money or subject me to humiliation in order to get your SUV; you will find another way. Luke, good bye.
I left him then, feeling both strangely relieved and saddened at the same time. Though this wasn’t how I had imagined my life to go, I had to take responsibility for my happiness now.
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The remainder of the day was devoted to organizing my return home and initiating the divorce proceedings. My family and friends never stopped being there for me. I was able to reclaim my self-worth and confidence with the support of each message and comment.
I came to the realization that I didn’t require Luke or anybody else to affirm my worth or beauty. I was sufficient in my own right. I made the decision to go on with my life and put my children and myself first.
In the days that followed, I began exercising because I wanted to feel stronger and healthier, not because Luke suggested it. I made more time for friends, picked up new interests, and even thought about returning to school.
I ran into Luke at the mall one day. He half-complimented me, which astonished me. “Hey!” Hannah, I almost didn’t recognize you. You appear different. How are the kids and you doing?
I said, “We’re doing great,” not wishing to carry on the discussion.
“Hannah, I wanted to ask you if…”
Luke, I’m getting late. I have to be somewhere. I apologize, I said, and I turned to go. His normally composed, self-assured face was marred by sorrow and perplexity, as I could see from the corner of my eye.
But since I could finally live my life on my terms and feel confident in my own skin, that stopped bothering me. Instead of lamenting my failed marriage, I was prepared to go on with courage and self-love.
So, what are your thoughts? Did I respond appropriately, or did I go a bit too far in my response? In my position, what would you have done differently?
Pop Icon Cyndi Lauper Battles Secret Illness: The Painful Truth Behind Her ‘True Colors
There’s something magical about Cyndi Lauper, the lively artist behind the 1983 hit “Girls Just Want to Have Fun,” a song that quickly became a global anthem, encouraging women everywhere to embrace fun and freedom.
Lauper is the definition of cool. Her quirky, carefree personality, playful fashion, and colorful hair inspire people with her message to always be yourself.
However, behind the playful voice that spreads joy to her listeners, Lauper battles a severe skin condition called psoriasis. At one point, it was so intense that, as she described, “It looked like someone threw boiling water on me.”
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The legendary pop star, now 69, recently opened up about her ongoing battle with psoriasis—a chronic skin condition that has no cure—since she was first diagnosed in 2010.
Psoriasis can cause severe pain, itching, discomfort, and rough, scaly patches on the skin. About 8 million people in the U.S. and 125 million globally live with this condition.
Lauper’s symptoms started as scalp irritation and general discomfort, which worsened over time.
Initially, she thought her itchy scalp was from frequently coloring her hair, but the symptoms continued, causing both physical pain and emotional strain for the award-winning musician.
The “Time after Time” singer is a busy mother, touring pop star, and activist.
Inspired by her sister Ellen, who is a lesbian, Lauper has become a strong supporter of LGBT rights, working tirelessly to advocate for the community.
Her 2005 song “Above the Clouds” was written in honor of Matthew Shepard, a 21-year-old gay student who was beaten to death in Wyoming. Lauper also started the “True Colors” concert tour in 2007-2008, which raises support for local and private LGBT charities and organizations.
Besides her advocacy, Lauper has an impressive career as a singer, songwriter, and actor. Over the past forty years, she has received many awards, including a Tony Award, two Grammy Awards, an MTV Music Video Award, and an Emmy Award for her role in a 1995 episode of the TV show *Mad About You*.
She also has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, is a member of the Songwriters Hall of Fame, and in 2013, her humanitarian work earned her a special invitation to attend President Barack Obama’s second inauguration.
Despite her diagnosis, Lauper continues to stay strong. She is committed to not letting psoriasis hold her back and works on managing stress to avoid triggering flare-ups.
When she was first diagnosed and dealing with severe psoriasis, Lauper wrote the music and lyrics for the Broadway musical *Kinky Boots*, which won her a Tony Award for Best Original Score. She became the first woman to win a Tony in that category on her own. The show also won five more Tony Awards, including Best New Musical.
In a conversation with the American Academy of Dermatology (AAD), Lauper openly shared her experience living with the autoimmune skin condition, hoping her story might help others.
“I’ve never been able to really manage stress,” she admitted, explaining that she now takes a holistic approach to healing and stress relief both at home and on the road. She learned reiki, a Japanese technique for relaxation, saying, “That helps me.”
Along with reiki, Lauper works to stay grounded by meditating, practicing yoga, or taking walks in the fresh air with her dog and her husband, David Thornton, whom she married in 1991. The couple has one son, born in 1997.
“It’s not a bad thing to take care of yourself,” Lauper said, urging people to always “make a little time for you.”
She encourages starting small. “How about five minutes for you?” she added.
Lauper speaks with resilience about her experience, explaining that “when psoriasis gets really bad, it’s really hard to get up again.” She shared that at times, she couldn’t regulate her body temperature, leading to chills that could result in hypothermia. Even when resting, her condition only worsened, and hearing people dismiss it as “just a rash” added to her struggles.
“You don’t have to suffer,” Lauper said. Treatments, such as topical and oral medication or injections, can help ease the often unbearable symptoms of psoriasis. For Lauper, she found relief with Novartis’ Cosentyx, and as a spokesperson for the medication, she happily shares that she’s been “four years clear.”
In 2017, Lauper spoke with HealthDay about managing her psoriasis.
“It’s funny—you start wearing gloves, or this and that, hoping [psoriasis] is invisible, but it’s not. I didn’t show it off, like, ‘Woo-hoo, check this out!’ Doesn’t everyone try to hide it? You’d be surprised how many people have it and don’t talk about it. It’s one of those invisible things, so it’s good to talk about it.”
She shares more about it on her podcast *PsO in the Know*, where she talks with celebrities, advocates, and everyday people who offer insights on living with psoriasis.
The show is now in its third season and is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Pandora, and Stitcher.
Lauper isn’t the only celebrity with psoriasis. Kim Kardashian, now 42, was diagnosed at 30 and is open about her challenges. Her mom, Kris Jenner, 67, had her first outbreak in her late 20s and said it was “life-changing.” Other celebrities with psoriasis include musician Art Garfunkel, 81, actor Jon Lovitz, 65, and Jerry Mathers, 74, known as “The Beaver.”
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