My Husband Tried to ‘Fix’ Me with a New Schedule—My Epic Response Left Him Speechless

I was shocked when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of losing my temper, I decided to play along. Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his new idea of marriage.

I’ve always been the calm and reasonable one in our relationship. Jake, on the other hand, can easily get caught up in new trends or ideas, whether it’s a hobby or a YouTube video that claims to change his life in just a few easy steps.

Jake and I were fine until he met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loud made him right. He’d talk over anyone who tried to correct him. He was also always single (no surprise there), but that didn’t stop him from giving relationship advice to all his married friends, including Jake. Jake, who should’ve known better, was impressed by Steve’s confidence.

I didn’t worry about it much at first, but then Jake started saying things like, “Steve says marriages work best when the wife handles the household,” or “Steve thinks women should always look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.” I’d roll my eyes and make sarcastic comments, but it was bothering me. Jake was changing. He’d raise an eyebrow if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and he’d sigh if I let the laundry pile up—forgetting that I also had a full-time job.

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Then one night, it happened. Jake came home with The List.

He sat me down, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across the table. “I’ve been thinking,” he began, sounding condescending in a way I’d never heard before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa, but there’s room for improvement.”

My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”

He nodded, not realizing he was walking into dangerous territory. “Yeah, Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”

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I looked at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule, titled “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife.” Jake had actually written out a plan for me based on what Steve—a single guy with no relationship experience—thought I should do to “improve” as a wife.

I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast, then go to the gym to “stay in shape.” After that? Cleaning, laundry, ironing—all before heading to work. Every evening, I was to cook dinner from scratch and make snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over. It was sexist and insulting on so many levels, I didn’t know where to start. I just stared at Jake, wondering if he had lost his mind.

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“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, unaware.

“Steve says it’s important to have structure, and I think you could benefit from—”

“Benefit from what?” I interrupted, keeping my voice calm. Jake blinked, surprised, but quickly recovered.

“Well, from having some guidance and a schedule.”

I wanted to throw the paper in his face, but instead, I surprised myself—I smiled.

“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m lucky you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”

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He looked relieved, and I almost felt sorry for him as I stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.

The next day, I looked at the ridiculous schedule and smiled. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” he was about to learn a lesson. I opened my laptop and started a new document titled, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” If he wanted perfection from me, there was a cost.

I started by listing all the things he’d suggested for me, beginning with the gym. “$1,200 for a personal trainer,” I typed, barely holding back a laugh.

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Next was the food. If Jake wanted gourmet meals, that wasn’t happening with our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That wasn’t cheap. “$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. And if he wanted fancy meals, he’d need cooking lessons too—those were expensive.

I leaned back, laughing as I imagined his face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. The best part was yet to come.

There was no way I could manage all these demands and keep my job. If Jake wanted me to follow his absurd schedule full-time, he’d have to cover my lost income. I calculated my salary and added it to the list. “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time maid, chef, and personal assistant.”

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By now, I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt.

And just for fun, I added a note about expanding the house. If Jake was going to have friends over all the time, they’d need a separate space. “$50,000 to build a man cave so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s new routine.”

I printed out the list, set it on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he arrived, he was in a good mood.

“Hey, babe,” he called, spotting the paper. “What’s this?”

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Keeping a straight face, I said, “Oh, just a little list to help you become the best husband ever.”

He chuckled, thinking I was playing along, but as he read the list, his smile faded. “$1,200 for a trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”

I crossed my arms. “Well, you want me to follow your plan, right? I figured we should budget for it.”

His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?”

“How else can I follow your plan?” I asked. “I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”

Jake looked stunned. The numbers and the absurdity of his demands hit him all at once. His smugness disappeared, replaced by the realization that he had messed up.

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“I didn’t mean for it to be like this,” he stammered. “I just thought—”

“You thought you could ‘fix’ me like a project?” I said, my voice calm but firm. “Jake, marriage is about respect. And if you ever try to ‘fix’ me like this again, it’ll cost you a lot more than what’s on that paper.”

There was a long silence. Jake sighed and looked at me, defeated.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t realize how ridiculous it was. Steve made it sound reasonable, but now I see… it’s toxic. I’ve been such a fool.”

I nodded. “Yes, you have. And honestly, Steve has no idea what he’s talking about. Why would you listen to him?”

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Jake’s face softened as the truth hit him. “You’re right. He has no clue.”

We tore up both lists, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like we were back on the same team. It was a reminder that marriage isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being better together.

Unemployed dad with face tattoo rejects 45 job offers since going viral with desperate work plea

A teenage father with ‘DEVAST8’ tattooed across his face is ‘waiting for the right job offer’ after his desperate plea for work went viral – and he has revealed he will be getting the jailhouse ink lasered off. 

Mark Cropp, 19, from New Zealand, took to social media on Wednesday afternoon to beg someone to look past his criminal convictions and heavily-tattooed face and give him a chance at work.

Within hours he had been inundated with job offers and said he had ‘stopped counting when he reached 45’. 

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Mark 'Devast8' Cropp (pictured) had his nickname 'DEVAST8' tattooed across his face in jail

Mark ‘Devast8’ Cropp (pictured) has revealed that he has turned down 45 job offers since his story went viral

The 19-year-old (pictured) had taken to social media in frustration that his face tattoos were preventing him from finding work

The 19-year-old (pictured) had taken to social media in frustration that his face tattoos were preventing him from finding work

But he told Daily Mail Australia he still hadn’t ‘done a day’s work’.

‘I am just waiting for the right one to come about,’ he said.

We live in ‘Britain’s unhappiest town’ – There are pickpockets

Some of the jobs required him to have his own car – he clarified – but he will need help getting to the work site.

‘Until I get my first paycheck and get a car I won’t be able to get myself around,’ he said.

The former criminal revealed he will be getting the artwork – designed by his brother after a night of drinking home brew in jail – removed as soon as possible.

Cropp's partner,  Taneia Ruki, told Daily Mail Australia Cropp has accepted a fulltime scaffolding job 

‘A week before I got out I taped a picture of my face to the inside of an envelope so my partner could see it – she was devastated – but now she likes it and can’t see me without it,’ Cropp (pictured, right) said

Man with DEVAST8 tattoo speaks about trying to get a job

‘I am just working out a date to get it taken off – which sucks because it is going to hurt,’ he said. 

‘And because, you know, this tattoo means something to me and my brother did it for me so it is hard to make the decision to get rid of it.

‘But I know it is the best thing for my future – and I want to be a person my family can look to for support.’

The artwork was designed to make him ‘look tough’ when he landed in jail following a long string of violent behaviour.

This image shows Cropp (pictured) before the face tattoo which made him go viral on social media

This image shows Cropp (pictured) before the face tattoo which made him go viral on social media

The teenage father grabbed global headlines after he turned to social media to complain that his face tattoo was a stain on his job prospects

‘And because, you know, this tattoo means something to me and my brother did it for me so it is hard to make the decision to get rid of it,’ he said

Mark and girlfriend Taneia Ruki got together a year before he was sent to prison 

Mark and girlfriend Taneia Ruki got together a year before he was sent to prison 

It was meant to be a ‘little one along the jawline,’ but the pair got carried away after drinking home brew made from fermented apples, sugar and bread.  

‘I went into jail with four tattoos and I came out with a full body suit,’ he said.

But the face tattoo was the biggest shock to his family.

‘A week before I got out I taped a picture of my face to the inside of an envelope so my partner could see it – she was devastated – but now she likes it and can’t see me without it.’ 

DEVAST8 happens to be the 19-year-old’s nickname.

Mark Cropp (pictured) told Daily Mail Australia he is still waiting for the right job to come along
The viral social media sensation has other tattoos also, but plans to get the face ink lasered off

Mark Cropp (pictured) told Daily Mail Australia he is still waiting for the right job to come along

Cropp (pictured) says the face tattoo was supposed to be small but he and his brother got carried away after drinking homebrew

Cropp (pictured) says the face tattoo was supposed to be small but he and his brother got carried away after drinking homebrew

‘I was going through a rough patch’: Teen with DEVAST8 jail tattoo

‘I would end up devastating everyone I met or got close to. 

‘They would be disappointed with something I had done or said – I was always hearing “that’s devastating”,’ he said.

But he hopes the devastating chapters of his life are over – erased along with the ink on his face.

‘I have learnt from my mistake,’ he said.

‘I still don’t think people should be judged by the tattoos on their face – but I know it will keep happening unless I do something about it.’ 

Before his final desperate plea on Facebook the teenager said people had ‘laughed in (his) face’ when he had asked for work.  

The tattoo was drawn with a homemade gun which used a needle made from the spring of a pen and powered by a cassette player.

Plastic knives and forks are burnt to a black plastic powder and mixed with toothpaste and water to create the ink.

The teenager has been out of jail for two weeks. 

Mark has also been offered laser therapy to remove the tattoo and will have his first session on Tuesday (pictured right with partner) 

Mark has also been offered laser therapy to remove the tattoo and will have his first session on Tuesday (pictured right with partner) 

The New Zealander (pictured) has been out of jail for two weeks and says he has learnt from his mistake

The New Zealander (pictured) has been out of jail for two weeks and says he has learnt from his mistake

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