My neighbor’s undergarments became the unlikely stars of a suburban show, taking center stage right outside my 8-year-old son’s window. When Jake innocently asked if her thongs were some kind of slingshots, I knew the “panty parade” had to stop, and it was time for a lesson in laundry discretion.
Ah, suburbia—where the lawns are pristine, the air smells of fresh-cut grass, and life rolls along smoothly until someone comes along to shake things up. That’s when Lisa, our new neighbor, arrived. Life had been relatively peaceful until laundry day revealed something I wasn’t prepared for: a rainbow of her underwear flapping outside Jake’s window like flags at a questionable parade.One afternoon, I was folding Jake’s superhero underwear when I glanced out the window and almost choked on my coffee. There they were: hot pink, lacy, and very much on display. My son, ever curious, peered over my shoulder and asked the dreaded question, “Mom, why does Mrs. Lisa have her underwear outside? And why do some of them have strings? Are they for her pet hamster?”
Between stifled laughter and mortified disbelief, I did my best to explain. But Jake’s imagination was running wild, wondering if Mrs. Lisa was secretly a superhero,with underwear designed for aerodynamics. He even wanted to join in, suggesting his Captain America boxers could hang next to her “crime-fighting gear.” It became a daily routine—Lisa’s laundry would wave in the breeze, and Jake’s curiosity would stir. But when he asked if he could hang his own underwear next to hers, I knew it was time to put an end to this spectacle. So, I marched over to her house, ready to resolve the situation diplomatically. Lisa answered the door, and before I could say much, she made it clear she wasn’t about to change her laundry habits for anyone. She laughed off my concerns, suggesting I “loosen up” and even offered me advice on spicing up my own wardrobe. Frustrated but determined, I came up with a plan—a brilliantly petty one. That evening, I created the world’s largest, most garish pair of granny panties out of the brightest fabric I could find. The next day, when Lisa left, I hung my masterpiece right in front of her window. When she returned, the sight of the massive flamingo-patterned undergarments nearly knocked her off her feet. Watching her fume while trying to yank down my prank was worth every stitch. She eventually caved, agreeing to move her laundry somewhere less visible—while I quietly relished my victory. From then on, Lisa’s laundry vanished from our shared view, and peace was restored. As for me? I ended up with a pair of flamingo-themed curtains, a daily reminder of the day I won the great laundry war of suburbia.
Anne Hegerty, 66, from The Chase, shared her worries about dating. She talked about how her longest relationship only lasted four months and that she has never had children.
Anne Hegerty, known from The Chase, shared that her biggest fear about dating is having a man invade her personal space.
The quizzer, who was diagnosed with autism at 45, opened up about her challenges, mentioning a time when she unplugged her phone to stop a boyfriend from contacting her.
At The Paul Strank Roofing Charity Gala in Kensington, London, she honestly said that she thinks she would make a terrible partner.
Anne, 66, said, “I really struggle with being close to others and having anyone else in the house.
“I think a lot of autistic people don’t get married or settle down.”
Anne explained, “I don’t even have pets because of this, and my ability to live with other people is getting smaller. I need a lot of alone time.
“I always feel like I need more space than anyone can give me. If I wanted a relationship, I could find one, but honestly, I don’t.”
She also mentioned that her longest relationship only lasted four months. Reflecting on that time, she said, “It only worked for those few months because I was in Manchester. I kind of set it up so it wouldn’t last.”
In the end, she wrote to him to end things. “I remember crying with relief and then crying with guilt,” she shared.
Anne felt overwhelmed during that relationship. “Sometimes, I unplugged the phone because he tried to call me every day. I just wanted it to be over.
“I’d sit there waiting for the phone to ring, thinking, ‘Don’t phone, don’t phone, don’t phone!’ Other times, to get over the waiting, I’d call him, but that made him think I wanted to talk. I really just wanted to end it. I didn’t want to talk to him or anyone!”
Anne joked that she hasn’t lacked offers from admirers who seem to like her “Mrs. Trunchbull” Governess outfit.
She said, “I’m sure some people are attracted to the whole look of The Governess. I think there are some who might be interested if they let me.”
Anne said, “I do meet attractive men, but I know it won’t work out. I feel like it’s not fair to them because I won’t treat them well.”
She added, “I always want more space than they can give me. If I wanted a relationship, I could find someone, but I don’t.”
She thinks it’s better not to date at all and enjoys having men as friends more than women. She recalled a quiz she attended in June, where a woman pointed out they were the only two women in the room, but Anne hadn’t even noticed because she was talking to her male friends.
Anne also shared that this is part of why she never had children, even though she is great with kids. “I did want children, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it very well.”
About 20 years ago, two kids from her neighborhood used to come over. “We limited their visits to just one hour a day, but they always wanted to stay longer. They were wonderful kids, and we’re now friends on Facebook, but I couldn’t handle that for more than an hour.”
Anne takes her role as godmother to Mark “Beast” Labbett’s eight-year-old son, Lawrence, very seriously.
She said, “Lawrence’s birthday is at the end of November, so I usually send a birthday and Christmas present at the same time—but they are not the same gift. My parents had winter birthdays, and I knew they hated getting just one present for two celebrations.”
Anne joked that one of the gifts she gave Lawrence was a bit inappropriate—a toy crossbow. “So, weaponry,” she laughed. “But lately, I’ve been giving him Minecraft vouchers since he really loves that.”
She also mentioned that she has spent Christmas alone for the past 40 years. That’s why she’s especially happy to be playing the Fairy Godmother in this year’s panto, Cinderella, in Scarborough.
Anne, who was on I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here in 2018, said, “Now that I’m in panto, I can say, ‘Sorry, I’m in Scarborough!’ and that’s my only day off.”
She sees it as a great day off. Even though many people invite her to spend Christmas with them, she prefers not to. “I don’t do Christmas dinner or a tree. When I was a kid, I just remember all the pine needles everywhere!”
Earlier this year, Anne took on another acting role, making a cameo as a neighbor in a film called Exorcising Barry, which is about a man obsessed with a demon.
Anne said that any chance of going to Hollywood is out of the question.
She explained, “America wouldn’t want me because I’m fat. I have a friend who went there for work, and even though she looks amazing, they told her she needed to lose weight. I’m fine with how I am, but they don’t like fat British actresses.”
Despite this, she has had great success in Britain. Talking about The Chase’s recent National Television Award win, she said, “I’m so happy. Bradley Walsh is amazing. It’s been 14 years, and I love it.”
She added, “Other kids used to sing in front of the mirror with a hairbrush. When I was younger, I practiced being interviewed for when I became famous. I don’t know why, but it’s always been my dream.”
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