The underwear of my neighbor turned into the star of a suburban farce, stealing the show directly outside my son’s 8-year-old window. Jake’s innocent question about whether her thongs were slingshots made me realize that the “panty parade” needed to end and that it was time to teach her some prudence when doing the laundry.
Oh, suburbia: a place where everything seems perfect, the air filled with the scent of freshly cut grass, and life goes on without incident until someone changes everything. At that point, Lisa, our new neighbor, showed up. Everything had been rather quiet until wash day, when I saw something for the first time that had caught me off guard: a rainbow of her panties flapping outside Jake’s window like flags at a dubious parade.I nearly choked on my coffee one afternoon while folding Jake’s superhero underwear and happened to look out the window. And there they were, lacy and blazing pink and very much on show. Ever the inquisitive child, my son glanced over my shoulder and posed the dreaded query, “Mom, why is Mrs. Lisa wearing her underpants outside? And why are there strings on some of them? Are they for her hamster companion?I tried to explain between choked laughter and horrified astonishment. However, Jake’s imagination was running wild as he pondered whether Mrs. Lisa had aerodynamically engineered underpants and was indeed a superhero. He even expressed a desire to participate, proposing that his Captain America boxers be displayed next to her “crime-fighting gear.” Jake would get curious and Lisa’s laundry would flap in the breeze on a daily basis. But I realized it was time to terminate this farce when he offered to hang his own underpants next to hers. So, prepared to settle the dispute amicably, I marched over to her residence. Before I could say anything, Lisa answered the door and made it plain that she wasn’t going to break her laundry routine for anyone. She dismissed my worries with a laugh, advised me to “loosen up,” and even gave me style tips for my own clothes. Despite my frustration, I remained resolute and devised a cleverly trivial scheme. Using the brightest fabric I could find, I made the biggest, flashiest pair of granny panties ever that evening. When Lisa departed the following day, I hung my work of art directly in front of her window. When she came back, the sight of the enormous underwear with a flamingo print almost took her breath away. It was worth every stitch to watch her lose her cool trying to take down my practical joke. After a while, she gave in and agreed to shift her laundry somewhere less noticeable, all the while I silently celebrated my success. After that, Lisa’s laundry disappeared from our shared vision, and everything returned to normal. What about me? In the end, I had some flamingo-themed curtains that served as a constant reminder of the day I prevailed in the suburban laundry war.
DWTS fans blast Gene Simmons for ‘cringey’ comments: ‘worst guest judge’
Fans of Dancing with the Stars are expressing their shock over Gene Simmons using his position as a guest judge to “sexualize women.”
The 75-year-old KISS frontman, known for his larger-than-life stage presence and persona, joined the show to critique the contestants on Hair Metal Night as they danced to iconic rock anthems from the 1980s.
But audiences are now demanding the network “issue an apology” for “putting a creep on the show,” and for providing him a platform to voice his “cringe-worthy” and “sexist” comments.
On the Tuesday, October 9 episode of Dancing with the Stars, KISS rocker Gene Simmons raised quite a few eyebrows with his controversial guest appearance.
As part of the show’s Hair Metal Night, Simmons joined regular judges Carrie Ann Inaba, Derek Hough, and Bruno Tonioli to critique the celebrity dancers.
Despite the high energy of the nostalgia-filled performance set to hits like Cherry Pie and Rock You Like a Hurricane, Simmons’ sexually suggestive remarks overshadowed the night for many fans.
While his rock persona has long been associated with pushing boundaries, many felt his behavior wasn’t suited for the lighthearted nature of the competition series.
Throughout the episode, Simmons, 75, made several remarks that focused less on the dancing and more on the female dancer’s looks, which many viewers call “creepy.”
After former NFL wide receiver Danny Amendola and Witney Carson hit the dance floor, “The Demon” said he couldn’t figure out who was more “hot hot hot.”
“Danny, I’m telling you, you’re right next to somebody – one of the most beautiful women on the planet. She makes you look good. Buddy, you gotta hit the gym. You gotta get in there,” added Simmons.
And then, referring to Emma Slater who was dancing with actor Reginald VelJohnson dancer, he said: “You’ve got a beautiful woman right beside you, who can twist it and turn it, and knows how to move it and, you know, all that.”
The rock legend also had words for VelJohnson. “I wanna tell you, as a guy that’s been on the stage for half a century around the world, I’m kind of a big deal, Reggie,” Simmons said. “It’s all in the attitude and you’ve got something in that beautiful face, they love you!”
Perhaps one of his cringiest remarks was directed to actor-singer Chandler Kinney. Explaining that her moves “fogged up” his glasses, Simmons removed his dark shades and said, “You moved me, not just with your gyrations and so on, but your beautiful face and how you were into the emotion of it – top to bottom.”
He did however offer one relevant opinion to Kinney when he praised her talents, noting that she has a “big future” ahead of her.
Social media quickly filled with backlash, with many expressing their discomfort and frustration. Some viewers even went as far as to call him the “worst guest judge” in the show’s 33-season run.
“I usually like Gene Simmons and think he’s funny. But that was not the case as a guest judge. Very inappropriate and just not helpful,” writes one cyber fan on the DWTS Facebook site.
A second shares, “It was uncomfortable for us watching, can’t even imagine how the women felt. And he wasn’t scoring dances, he was just giving out random numbers.”
Gene was a bust! His comments and feedback were inappropriate along with the scores.”
A third critic adds, “His comments on all the girls was cringe!”
Another user calls Simmons “vulgar” and says he’s “the worst judge ever
Meanwhile, other online citizens are calling out ABC and Disney+, suggesting the network and streaming service apologize to fans of DWTS.
“Y’all owe the biggest apology to your fanbase (which is primarily women) & the dancers for putting that creep on your show and allowing for him to sexualize them on live TV,” one netizen writes on Facebook.
A second pens, “They need to apologize for having Gene Simmons. It was cringe-worthy. His comments were sexist, and he was just awful.”
“But they had a felon on the show this season,” adds another user, who’s referring to Anna Delvey (Sorokin), the convicted fraudster who sparked a lot of controversy with her appearance on September 17, the first episode of the DWTS season.
What do you think of DWTS decision in having Simmons as a guest judge? Please let us know what you think and then share this story so we can hear what others have to say!
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