So I am at Walmart scanning and bagging my almost $300 worth of groceries while the employee that wants $15 an hour “monitors” and then this happened.
Her – why are you double bagging all of your groceries?
Me – excuse me?
Her – you are wasting our bags!
Me – if you don’t likе the way I’m bagging the groceries, feel free to come on over here and bag them yourself.
Her – that’s not my job!
Me – okay, then I will bag my groceries how I please if that’s all right with you.
Her – why are you using two bags?!
Me – because the bags are weak and I don’t want the handles to break or the bottoms to rip out.
Her – well that’s because you are putting too much stuff in the bag. If you took half of that stuff out and put it in a different bag then you wouldn’t need to double bag.
*10 seconds of me just staring at her.
Me – so you want me to split these items in half and put half of them in a different bag so that I don’t have to double bag.
Her – exactly.
Me – so I would still be using two bags to hold the same number of items.
Her – no because you wouldn’t be double bagging.
*me pressing two fingers to my left eye in an attempt to make it stop twitching.
Me – okay so here I have a jug of milk and a bottle of juice double bagged. If I take the milk out and remove the double bagging and just put the milk in the single bag and the juice in that single bag I’m still using two bags for these two items.
Her- no because you are not double bagging them so it’s not the same number of bags.
*me looking around at about 10 other customers who at this point are enjoying the show.
Me- is this likе that Common Core math stuff I keep hearing about?
Her- never mind you just don’t get it.
And with that, she went back to her little Podium so she could continue texting or playing games on her phone or whatever it was she was doing before she decided to come over and critique my bagging skiIIs.
Michael Woodhams’ RIDICULOUS BGT Audition as a Primary School Music Teacher
In a dazzling display of talent and creativity, Mike Woodhams, a cherished music educator from a local primary school, captivated the audience of Britain’s Got Talent 2024 with his remarkable performance. Going beyond mere singing, Mike unveiled his extraordinary knack for music impressionism, effortlessly channeling the essence of various music legends from Boyzone to Anastacia. His act was a delightful fusion of wit and musical virtuosity, enhanced by his clever use of props and spot-on impersonations.
The pinnacle of Mike’s audition came when he synchronized his performance with James Blunt’s iconic 2004 hit “You’re Beautiful”. As Blunt’s music video played silently in the background, Mike took center stage, singing live to create the illusion that Blunt himself was lip-syncing to his voice. This ingenious approach not only entertained the audience but also showcased Mike’s impeccable vocal prowess and innovative flair.
Judge Bruno Tonioli was effusive in his praise, declaring Mike’s vocal impressions as “some of the finest I’ve heard in years”, commending both his vocal range and the element of surprise woven into his act. Alesha Dixon echoed Tonioli’s sentiments, lauding Mike’s ability to effortlessly switch between male and female vocal impersonations with equal finesse.
Experience the magic of Mike Woodhams’ unforgettable audition, where comedy, impressions, and raw vocal talent intertwine to create a truly mesmerizing performance.
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