Marriage has its ups and downs, but there’s always space for laughter. The daily moments between husbands and wives can be heartwarming and funny, as shown in these jokes.
From surprising notes to clever replies, these seven jokes showcase the playful side of marriage. Whether you’re married or just enjoy a good laugh, these stories will make you nod in agreement and chuckle at their unexpected turns.
1 The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there can be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels unappreciated. This joke takes that idea to the extreme when a wife tries to teach her husband a lesson with a note, only to be shocked by his reaction.
A woman, upset that her husband was late coming home again, left a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you. Don’t bother looking for me.” She then hid under the bed to see how he would react.
After a short time, the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen and saw him go to the dresser to pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it and called someone.
“She’s finally gone… Yes, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the fun things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. When she came out from under the bed, furious and in tears, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”
2 The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, simple misunderstandings can blow up, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously shows how quickly a situation can escalate when assumptions are made, only for the truth to make everyone laugh.
When a husband came home, he found his wife crying. She said, “The pharmacist insulted me on the phone this morning!”
Angry, the husband drove to the pharmacy to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. But before he could speak, the pharmacist said, “Wait, let me explain. This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late.”
“I skipped breakfast and rushed to the car, only to realize I locked my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then I drove too fast and got a speeding ticket. While driving to work, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened the pharmacy, there was already a line. And the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”
He added, “I had to break a roll of coins to make change, but they spilled everywhere. When I stood up, I hit my head on the cash drawer, and all the perfume bottles fell and broke. Then the phone rang, and it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and all I did was tell her.”
3 The Family Secret
Family secrets can be surprising and funny. In this joke, a young man is excited about his upcoming marriage until his father reveals some shocking news, leading to a hilarious twist.
One Sunday morning, George rushed into the living room and shouted, “Dad! Mom! I have great news! I’m marrying the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”
Later, George’s dad pulled him aside and said, “Son, we need to talk. Look at your mom. We’ve been married for 30 years. She’s a great wife and mom, but she’s not very exciting. I used to cheat on her, and Susan is your half-sister, so you can’t marry her.”
George was heartbroken. After eight months, he started dating again. A year later, he proudly said, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again, his father pulled him aside to share more bad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m sorry.”
George was furious! He went to his mother with what his father said. “Dad is ruining my life. I guess I’ll never get married. Every time I like a girl, Dad says she’s my half-sister.”
His mother laughed and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s not really your father.”
4 The Fried Eggs Incident
Everyday tasks like cooking breakfast can lead to funny arguments between spouses. This joke turns a simple breakfast into a humorous look at how we all sometimes feel the need to give advice, especially when the roles are reversed.
A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast when her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful!” he said. “Put in more butter! You’re cooking too many at once! Turn them! We need more butter! Oh no, they’re going to stick! Be careful! You never listen to me when you cook! Hurry! Don’t forget to salt them!”
The wife stared at him. “What’s wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “Sure you do. I just wanted to show you how it feels when I’m driving.”
5 The Supermarket Strategy
Shopping in a busy supermarket can be stressful, especially if you lose track of your spouse. This joke shows how resourceful one husband can be when looking for his wife, with a touch of humor.
In a supermarket, Ivan lost sight of his wife. He approached a young lady and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” asked the lady, confused by Ivan’s request.
“It’s always the same. As soon as I start talking to a pretty woman, my wife pops up out of nowhere.”
The Flu Revelation
Being stuck at home with the flu is never fun, but this joke shows how a man’s sickness revealed his wife’s true feelings in a surprising and funny way. Sometimes love can be found in unexpected situations.
A man visited a friend who had been sick with the flu for weeks.
“How was it?” the man asked.
“Surprisingly wonderful,” the friend replied.
“How so?” the man asked.
“Well, I found out how much my wife loves me and how happy she is to have me home.”
“How do you know?”
“Every time the postman, the milkman, or the trash collector comes by, she runs out shouting, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
The Late-Night Approach
Sometimes sneaking in late after a night out doesn’t go as planned. In this joke, two husbands compare how they deal with their wives when they come home late, revealing that a more direct approach can be the best way.
Two married friends were out drinking when one said, “I don’t know what to do. When I come home after drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I coast into the garage, take off my shoes before entering the house, sneak upstairs, change in the bathroom, and slip into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”
His friend replied, “You’re doing it wrong. I drive into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, flush the toilet loudly, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, and jump into bed saying, ‘Do you want to make love?’ And every time, she acts like she’s sound asleep!”
Paul McCartney’s only son James makes rare appearance with father – his looks are highly criticized by fans
In the 2000s, James played backup percussion and guitar for some of his dad’s solo releases, like “Flaming Pie” and “Driving Rain.” He also played lead guitar for his mom on the track “The Light Comes from Within,” on the posthumously released album “Wide Prairie.”
When his mom died in 1998, James admits that his ‘perfect world’ was destroyed.
“When I was 17 I wrote my first song and then Mum was diagnosed with cancer. She died when I was 20 and that’s when I went into a very dark period,” he said. He continued, “I was studying art, photography and English at college. I had spent a lot of time at home with Mum and Dad. I got a bit of flak from the college because I wasn’t really present, but I never regretted spending that time with her.”
James found solace in drugs and alcohol, and distanced himself from the family. Adding to his struggles was his relationship his dad’s new wife, Heather Mills, whom Paul was married to from 2002 to 2008.
“My relationship with Heather was not very good. I didn’t like her. But I wouldn’t want to say anything negative about her because she’s a good mother to Beatrice and that’s the most important thing,” James said, speaking of his baby sister that Paul shares with Mills. “Beatrice is adorable. She’s great, a real joy for the whole family.”
In 2007, when his award-winning dad was hospitalized and had angioplasty surgery, James reconnected with his family. “Dad’s great now but that episode made me realize how important he is to me. He was suffering in his own way [because of his high-profile split from Mills]. He was under stress. In hindsight I wish I’d been more supportive,” James said.
In 2011, Paul married Nancy Shevell, to which James says, “Nancy’s my new mother. I feel that. Definitely. She’s very genuine.”
“I removed myself from my family for a while. Now I want to immerse myself in them,” James shared. “I love Dad so much. I’m in a happy place. I’m not high, which is a good thing. I just want to be the best person I can be.”
Slowly gaining traction as a reputable musician, James released his debut single “Available Light” (2010) and then, collaborated with his dad, who worked as co-producer, James delivered his first album, “Me” in 2013, followed by “The Blackberry Train” in 2016.
Though he lived a mostly private life, he told the BBC in 2012 that as a child, he aimed to be “better than the Beatles.”
“When I got to a certain age, I realized that I was somewhat better than other kids at school at guitar and took pride and enjoyment in that,” James said (as per the Daily Mail).
“I then dreamt of being better than The Beatles. I’m not sure if I can do that. If anything, I would love to be equal to The Beatles–but even that’s quite tough.”
He even revealed he was wanting to reanimate the Beatles with the progeny of the Fab Four, including John Lennon’s son, Sean, son of George, Dhani Harrison, and Ringo Starr’s two boys Zach and Jason Starkey.
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But quickly shutting down the media explosion over a Beatles incarnation, NBC reports that James clarified that it was just a thought. “Well, looks like quite some attention being given to my BBC interview! Honestly, I was just thinking out loud about playing with Beatles family friends, nothing more. My band’s going to be on tour in the UK and US for most of this year, and the shows are going great! I’m so grateful…. Lots of love to you all…!”
Recently, James appeared with his dad and big sisters at the private viewing of the “Paul McCartney 1963-64: Eyes of the Storm” exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery in London.
The exhibition features extraordinary photographs taken by Sir Paul of The Beatles’ early days.
James, looking similar to his famous dad, was dapper in a black suit paired with a white shirt at the star-studded event.
Tossed into the spotlight where he’s vulnerable to criticism, fans shared their harsh opinions of James, who is a recovering addict.
“They look very much alike! I think this is what Paul would’ve looked like (in his heyday) if he was overweight and didn’t look after himself. His son needs to start looking after himself. It seems as though he over eats, probably an alcoholic. And doesn’t look like his hygiene is up to par.”
Many, reacted to the Daily Mail writing on Facebook that James is Handsome: “They have a different standard of what ‘handsome’ is….Yikes!” writes one user, while another said, “I don’t think I would say he was handsome got his dad’s eyes but that’s all.”
Some suggested that James aged poorly: “Sorry to say this but his son looks like his father and his father looks like his son.”
Falling into the minority of cyber citizens defending James, one follower writes, “Wow look at all the women body shaming the poor guy for his looks, if it was a woman they would be all up in arms if there was any negative comments, leave him alone ffs nothing wrong with him….probably gets more women than most men in here too lol.”
Have you heard any music released by James McCartney? Are you more likely to listen to his recordings because he is the son of a musical legend or are you the type of person who prefers independent artists?
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