According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
I Fled My Ex with My Daughter Only to Face a Woman from My Past Set on Ruining My Life — Story of the Day
I thought escaping my ex with my daughter would be the hardest part, but I was wrong. Returning to my small hometown brought a storm I never saw coming.
Returning to my hometown felt like scheduling a root canal—something you know you have to do but would rather avoid at all costs. Every street, every familiar face, and even the smell of the place screamed, “Failure!”
Mom greeted us at the door. Sophie, my ten-year-old daughter, gave me a side-eye from the moment we stepped off the bus. Her expression practically shouted, “Really, Mom? This was your grand plan?”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
Things didn’t get better once we got home.
“You haven’t even unpacked,” Mom sighed, standing in my doorway.
“It’s a strategy. Maybe we’ll leave sooner than you think.”
“Brilliant. Maybe plan a magical return of your dignity while you’re at it,” she shot back, rolling her eyes.
Dinner wasn’t much of a break.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
“I want to live with Dad!” Sophie announced, dropping her fork with a clatter. “At least he doesn’t drag me to some… nowhere town!”
Mom opened her mouth, probably to say something “helpful,” but I raised a hand to stop her. She gave me a long look, then went back to her soup. Sophie’s words hung in the air like a bad smell.
That night, as I stared at the cracks in the ceiling, I realized something had to change. So, the following morning, I went to the local employment center. The place hadn’t changed a bit since high school. It was still small, stuffy, and suffocatingly dull. I was scanning the job postings when…
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
“Is that Mia? I don’t believe it!”
I turned to see Ethan, the guy everyone in high school wanted to sit next to in class. He still had that boy-next-door smile that could melt ice.
“Ethan.”
We fell into an easy conversation.
“Still can’t believe it’s you,” Ethan said, shaking his head with a grin. “You haven’t changed a bit, Mia.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
I snorted. “Liar. I’m at least ten pounds and ten thousand regrets heavier.”
“You always had the best comebacks. Some things never change.”
As we chatted, I felt myself relaxing for the first time in weeks. He talked about his recent move back to town. I mostly nodded and smiled, letting his voice fill the empty spaces in my mind.
Then, almost casually, he said, “You know, we should catch up properly. Coffee? My treat.”
Coffee. A normal, adult conversation without judgment, pity, or awkward silences.
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“Coffee sounds… good.”
And then, I heard the door open. I turned to see a woman in a designer blazer and heels sharp enough to puncture tires. She stood there like she was waiting for applause.
“Well, well,” she cooed. “If it isn’t Ethan Carter. It’s been ages. How’s life treating our golden boy?”
Ethan, ever the gentleman, smiled politely. “Vivian. Good to see you. Life’s good, thanks. I didn’t know you were still in town.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
“Still?” she asked, feigning surprise. “Oh, I’m more than ‘still’ here.” Her eyes darted to me then. “I see you’ve already got company. Mia? Is that really you?”
I barely had time to process her words before she added, “Don’t tell me you don’t remember me. ‘Chubby Vi’? The girl who was, oh, so invisible back in school?”
Oh no. Suddenly, it all came rushing back—Vivian. The quiet, awkward girl no one noticed. But this time, she was standing in front of me, polished and commanding, looking like she owned not just the room but the entire town. And, maybe, she did.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
“Of course,” I said. “It’s been a long time.”
She gave me a sugary smile. “It has. And yet, here we are. Funny how life works, isn’t it? What brings you to the employment center, Mia? Don’t tell me… you’re looking for a job?”
“That’s right. Gotta pay the bills, you know.”
“Well, you’re in luck. I just happen to have a position available at the city café. It’s a cleaning position. Don’t worry, Mia. I’m sure you’ll pick it up quickly. And think of the perks! Free coffee at the end of the day.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
Ethan stepped slightly closer to me. “Vivian, maybe this isn’t the time…”
“Oh, nonsense,” she interrupted. “I’m just being neighborly. Isn’t that what you like about our little town, Ethan? The… charm?”
Her eyes locked on mine again. My pride begged me to walk away, but Sophie’s face flashed in my mind. I couldn’t afford to let my ego win that one.
“Wow,” I said, forcing a tight smile. “A dream opportunity like that? How could I possibly say no?”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
Vivian’s satisfaction practically radiated off her. “That’s the spirit. Tomorrow at 7 a.m. Don’t be late.”
She turned on her razor-sharp heels, leaving the room. I stood there, wishing the floor would swallow me whole.
“It’s fine,” I muttered. “She wins this round.”
***
The days at my new job were nothing short of a sitcom where I played the hapless lead. Dirty floors, spilled coffee, leftover crumbs—it felt like the café had conspired to keep me perpetually armed with a mop.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
And then there was Vivian. Like clockwork, she showed up during my shift.
“Oh no!” she gasped dramatically, knocking her latte off the edge of the table. “How clumsy of me! Mia, darling, you wouldn’t mind cleaning that up, would you? You’re so good at it.”
I plastered on a smile that felt more like a grimace. “Of course, Vivian. Can’t let your expensive shoes suffer, can we?”
Her lips curved in a condescending smirk. “That’s the spirit. Such a team player.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
The next day, Vivian continued her petty antics—sugar mysteriously scattered, chairs left deliberately askew, all designed to keep me busy and humiliated. At home, Sophie’s resentment only grew, and the weight of my guilt became unbearable. I knew something had to change.
While wiping down counters one afternoon, I noticed a job posting for a waitress position. Gathering my courage, I asked Mr. Larkin if I could switch roles. To my surprise, he agreed without hesitation.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
When Vivian arrived during my next shift, expecting to see me with a mop, her surprise was evident as she spotted me carrying a tray instead. She commented about my “progress,” masking her annoyance with false cheer, but I couldn’t help feeling a small, satisfying victory.
Still, I had a nagging sense that Vivian wasn’t finished yet.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
***
I had forgotten what it felt like to be excited about something as simple as a date. That night, I left the mop bucket and spilled sugar behind and felt like a person again. Ethan picked a cozy restaurant, one of those places with dim lighting and candles on the tables that made everything seem romantic, even if you were just eating breadsticks.
“You clean up nice,” he said, pulling out my chair. “Not that you don’t always look great in… uh, aprons and sneakers.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
“Flattery will get you everywhere,” I quipped, sitting down. “And for the record, those are high-performance sneakers. Very trendy in the cleaning world.”
The conversation flowed easily, from shared memories of high school to ridiculous stories about his failed attempts at cooking. The waiter brought us pasta and wine, and I was starting to believe the night was perfect.
Suddenly, I heard the cold voice, sending a chill straight through me.
“Wow, Mia. Look at you. A dress and everything.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
I looked up to see my ex-husband, Darren, standing at the table with a smug expression. He was dressed like he’d just stepped off a yacht, which was ironic given he’d probably get seasick in a kiddie pool.
“Darren! What are you doing here?”
“Oh, just stopping by to let you know I’m taking my daughter, Sophie,” he said casually like he was announcing he’d picked up a gallon of milk.
“What?” My fork clattered onto my plate. “You can’t just…”
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“I can, and I will,” he interrupted. “She deserves better than this… situation.”
The unspoken questions hung in the air. I felt the walls closing in. It looked like I had been hiding an entire part of my life from Ethan.
“You didn’t mention you had a daughter,” Ethan finally said.
“I was going to,” I stammered. “Tonight, actually…”
“Oh, don’t mind me,” Darren cut in with a laugh. “I just thought Ethan should know who he’s getting involved with.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
Ethan pushed back his chair and stood up. “I think I’ll let you two work this out.”
He left me alone with Darren.
“Well, that went well,” Darren said, sitting down across from me like he owned the place. “Don’t worry, Mia. I’m not taking Sophie. My new life doesn’t exactly have room for… distractions.”
“Then why are you here?” I snapped, anger bubbling to the surface.
“Oh, just a little favor for a friend. She said you were trying to rebuild your little love life. Thought I’d lend a hand.”
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And that’s when it hit me. Of course, I knew who’d managed that. Her fingerprints were all over the wreckage of my night.
***
After that disastrous evening, I felt like the universe had thrown in the towel on me. I took a day off and decided to focus on Sophie. She deserved more than the chaos I’d been dragging her through.
So, the following morning, with a blanket, some sandwiches, and a whole bag of her favorite snacks, we set up a picnic in the backyard. Sophie giggled as we spread peanut butter on crackers and debated whether clouds looked more like rabbits or dinosaurs.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
For a moment, it felt like I could breathe again. But then, I heard Ethan’s voice.
“Hey,” he said, holding a bouquet of wildflowers. “I thought these might brighten the mood.”
Sophie’s face lit up. “Flowers? For me?”
“All yours,” Ethan said with a wink.
She squealed and bolted toward the house, yelling for Grandma to find a vase.
Ethan turned to me. “Can we talk?”
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“If you’re here to get answers about my ex, you deserve to know the truth,” I began. “Darren… he cheated on me. For years, apparently. When I found out, I packed up and left, bringing Sofie with me. Coming back here was my only option.”
“I’m sorry, Mia. No one deserves that. But it’s not about Darren. It’s about Vivian.”
“Vivian? What about her?”
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“She’s been… persistent since I moved back to town. I guess she saw my coming back as an opportunity to, I don’t know, rekindle something that was never really there.”
I sighed, the pieces clicking into place. But there was one thing I needed to know.
“Does the fact that I have a daughter scare you?”
“Scare me? Mia, beautiful girls like Sophie are the best part of life.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
Before I could respond, Sophie came bounding back. “Come on, let’s go somewhere fun!”
Later, we were eating cotton candy at a small carnival in the next town. Sophie squealed as Ethan won her a stuffed bear at one of the games, and the way he looked at her like she was the center of the universe made something warm bloom in my chest.
I let myself believe that maybe, we were going to be okay.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
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If you enjoyed this story, read this one: I never expected my Christmas to turn into a whirlwind of romance and betrayal. Invited to a magical on-air date, I thought I’d met the perfect man. But when two strangers claimed to be him and my choice led to heartbreak, I realized the real story had only just begun. Read the full story here.
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