Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
Roller Skating and Skate Keys: A Nostalgic Blast from the Past
Roller skating has been a beloved pastime enjoyed by generations of kids and adults alike. It’s hard to believe that the first use of roller skates was in a London stage performance way back in 1743!
John Joseph Merlin, a London resident in 1760, deserves the credit for inventing the first skates. Roller skates have certainly come a long way since then!
In the United States, roller skating gained popularity as a pastime in 1935. But it wasn’t until the introduction of skating rinks playing disco music in the 1970s that roller skating became a huge trend. It seemed like everyone wanted to hit the rinks and groove to the music!
Speaking of roller skating, let’s take a trip down memory lane. Do you remember those heavy metal skates that you could attach to your shoes? They were quite the fashion statement back in the day. But there’s something else that you might remember if you were a skater before the 1970s – the iconic skate key.
This copper-colored object was an essential accessory for anyone with roller skates. At first glance, it may look like a bottle opener or some kind of tool, but it is actually a skate key. With the skate key, you could adjust the size of your skates by fitting it into the back of the pair. And to make sure they didn’t get lost while skating, most people wore the key around their necks. It was a small but significant part of the roller skating experience.
Skate keys were such an integral part of roller skating that there have even been songs written about them! They symbolize a time when roller skating was a cherished activity, filled with fun and memories.
So, do you remember skate keys? We’d love to hear your skating stories on our Facebook page. Let’s share this delightful blast from the past with others who may have fond memories of roller skating and skate keys too!
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