A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.
Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.
Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.
Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.
Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.
A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”
Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.
While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?
Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”
With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.
There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).
A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.
Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.
Bless!
She was huge in the 1980s and her performances are etched in our hearts – the iconic actress is stunning at 67
Admirers all around the world wished they were the stunning Debra Winger when Naval Officer Zack Mayo snatched factory worker Paula into his arms and whisked her from her place of employment in a classic romantic tale.
The iconic moment from the romance drama An Officer and a Gentleman, in which Richard Gere portrayed the dashing hero in navy whites, Officer Zack Mayo, became the standard for romantic tales for daydreamers.
Acting beside some of the sexiest men in Hollywood made Debra Winger the envy of many.
Winger, who is 67 years old, is still stunning today. Winger has shared pictures of herself on Instagram throughout the last few years; initially, she had brown hair, but now it is a naturally wavy gray.
Winger played Drusilla, the younger sister of Lynda Carter’s Diana Prince/Wonder Woman, in the popular TV series Wonder Woman (1979). Her first major role came in the 1976 film Slumber Party ’57. Winger was requested to make more appearances, but she declined out of fear that the role would mold her into a certain mold.
The emerging star would have a lucrative early 1980s and had no regrets about that choice.
She was nominated for multiple Academy Awards and Golden Globes during the peak of her early career for her roles in three classic 1980s films.
She costarred with John Travolta in Urban Cowboy in 1980; at the time, he was making fans go crazy with his slick dance moves in Saturday Night Fever (1977) and Grease (1988); she also played Emma in Terms of Endearment (1983), where she played a dying young woman with an overbearing mother named Aurora, played by Shirley MacLaine, and as Paula in An Officer and a Gentleman (1982).
Despite her enormous success, Winger took a brief break from acting to focus on other projects. Over forty years after her ascent to fame, rumors about her departure persist.
The majority of these rumors center on Winger’s conflicts with her co-stars.
Despite the fact that Winger reportedly had enough of the attractive Gere on the set, fans couldn’t get enough of him.
As stated in a passage from co-star Louis Gossett Jr.’s book “An Actor and a Gentleman,” which ABC News published, “The onscreen chemistry between the two of them was terrific, but it was a different story once the camera was turned off.” They were too close to one another to have remained apart.
Additionally, according to Gossett, Winger didn’t think highly of Gere’s acting and once called him “a brick wall.” She also called Taylor Hackford, the film’s director, who she did not like, “animal.”
Not just the characters in the movie bothered her.
MacLaine was a gorgeous, quirky, and seasoned veteran who contrasted with Winger, who was a free spirit both in real life and in her part as Emma.
Their romance began with that first meeting.
In a People interview, MacLaine stated, “I was wearing all my leftover movie-star fur coats to see how my character would feel.” “Debra was there, wearing a miniskirt and combat boots.I exclaimed, “Oh my goodness.”
According to People, “In fact, the set turned into the origin of Hollywood’s most cherished rumors.” Winger desired first place. It was said that one slugged the other.
Subsequently, the two women faced off at the Oscars after receiving nominations for best actress.
“I deserve this,” MacLaine declared in her acceptance speech as she took the award home.
Despite the rumors, Winger maintains that she “pushed the pause button” on Hollywood for private, not for work-related, reasons.
“I didn’t care for the parts that were about to happen. That was something I had already done or experienced. I required a challenge. I totally embraced the challenge that my life presented to me, Winger said to People.
MacLaine was a gorgeous, quirky, and seasoned veteran who contrasted with Winger, who was a free spirit both in real life and in her part as Emma.
Their romance began with that first meeting.
In a People interview, MacLaine stated, “I was wearing all my leftover movie-star fur coats to see how my character would feel.” “Debra was there, wearing a miniskirt and combat boots.I exclaimed, “Oh my goodness.”
According to People, “In fact, the set turned into the origin of Hollywood’s most cherished rumors.” Winger desired first place. It was said that one slugged the other.
Subsequently, the two women faced off at the Oscars after receiving nominations for best actress.
“I deserve this,” MacLaine declared in her acceptance speech as she took the award home.
Despite the rumors, Winger maintains that she “pushed the pause button” on Hollywood for private, not for work-related, reasons.
“I didn’t care for the parts that were about to happen. That was something I had already done or experienced. I required a challenge. I totally embraced the challenge that my life presented to me, Winger said to People.
We can’t imagine a Hollywood without Debra Winger and we hope she soon gets to take home an Academy Award! What are your favorite Winger movies?
Acting alongside Hollywood’s hottest men, Debra Winger was the envy of many.
Today, Winger, 67, is as beautiful as ever. In the past few years, Winger has posted photos herself on Instagram, first with brown hair and now to a natural wavy gray.
Winger’s first starring role was in the 1976 film Slumber Party ‘57, which led to a part on the hit TV series Wonder Woman (1979), where she played Drusilla, the younger sister to Lynda Carter’s Diana Prince/Wonder Woman. Winger was asked to appear more often but concerned she’d be typecast by that role, she declined.
There were no regrets for that decision, the early ‘80s would be prosperous for the rising star.
At the height of her young career, she received numerous nods from the Academy and Golden Globes for performances in three iconic movies of the 1980’s.
In 1980, she starred in Urban Cowboy, with John Travolta, who at the time was driving fans wild with his smooth dance moves in Saturday Night Fever (1977) and Grease (1988); as Paula in An Officer and a Gentleman (1982) and in Terms of Endearment (1983), where she played Emma, a dying young woman with an over-bearing mother, Aurora, played by Shirley MacLaine.
Despite her huge success, Winger, carving hours from her acting schedule, took a mini Hollywood hiatus, and more than four decades after her rise to stardom, speculation of why she left is still circulating.
Most of these rumours revolve around the feuds that Winger had with her co-stars.
Though fans couldn’t get enough of the handsome Gere, it’s been widely reported that Winger had enough of him on the set.
According to an excerpt published on ABC News from the book, “An Actor and a Gentleman,” by co-star, Louis Gossett Jr., who played Sgt. Emil Foley: “The onscreen chemistry between the two of them was terrific, but it was a different story once the camera was turned off. They couldn’t have stayed farther apart from each other.”
Gossett also claims that Winger didn’t think much of Gere’s acting and wrote that she once described Gere as “a brick wall.” And, the film’s director, Taylor Hackford, whom she also did not like, she referred to as “animal.”
It wasn’t only people on that film that ruffled her feathers.
Winger, a free spirit in real life and in her role as Emma, also clashed with the prolific MacLaine, a glamorous, eccentric and seasoned veteran.
Their first meeting set the stage for their relationship.
“To see how my character would feel I was wearing all my leftover movie-star fur coats,” MacLaine said in an interview with People. “There was Debra dressed in combat boots and a miniskirt…I thought, ‘Oh my goodness.’”
People writes, “Indeed, the set became the source of Hollywood’s most relished rumors. Winger wanted top billing. One reportedly slugged the other.”
And then, the women were pitted against each other in the Oscars when they were both nominated for best actress.
MacLaine, taking the trophy home, said in her acceptance speech, “I deserve this!”
Rumors aside, Winger insists she “pushed the pause button” on Hollywood for personal reasons and not professional.
“The parts that were coming, I wasn’t interested in. I’d already done that or I’d already felt that. I needed to be challenged. My life challenged me more than the parts, so I dove into it fully,” Winger told People.
After starring in the 1995 romcom Forget Paris with Billy Crystal, Winger took a six-year break.
In that time, she moved to New York City and shifted her focus to actor Arliss Howard, whom she married in 1996. The pair have a son, Gideon Babe, who was born in 1997, and she is stepmother to Sam, Howard’s son from a previous marriage. She also has another biological child, Noah Hutton, whom she mothered while married to her first husband, Timothy Hutton (1986 to 1990).
She reappeared in the 2001 film Big Bad Love, that was directed and produced by her husband, who also co-starred alongside Winger and Rosanna Arquette, who’s next project was 2002 film Searching for Debra Winger. As director of the documentary, Arquette attempts to answer why Winger temporarily abandoned her career at peak performance.
Winger gained some momentum with roles in Rachel Getting Married (2008) with Anne Hathaway, the 2017 romcom The Lovers, and the crime-comedy, Kajillionaire (2020).
In 2021, she was in With/In, Volume two of the anthological drama film, in the segment Her Own, which is written and directed by her husband, who also co-stars.
“I don’t know what Hollywood is. I’m living under the freaking sign now, and I just stare at it and laugh. Los Angeles is a place, but the idea of Hollywood doesn’t really exist for me,” Winger said, adding, “…although there must be some in-crowds that I just don’t know about.”
Without Debra Winger, we couldn’t imagine Hollywood, and we hope she wins an Oscar soon! Which Winger films are your favorites?
Leave a Reply