Erin and Mike got married at 20 and had the best marriage anyone could want. But at 76 years old, Mike realized they were too old for all that romance, mainly because it was one-sided. Erin was heartbroken and asked for a divorce, but a shocking event happened.
“I don’t understand why you don’t bring me flowers anymore,” Erin whined to her husband, Mike, one day. After 56 years of marriage, her husband had suddenly stopped being romantic, something that had made their relationship the envy of everyone they knew.
“Erin, you are not going to die if I don’t bring flowers every day,” Mike answered from his place on the couch, his hand grabbing the remote control to flip a channel.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
Erin was displeased. “But that’s not fair. For the past month, you’ve stopped every single romantic gesture. What’s happening? Are you having an affair? AT OUR AGE?” she exclaimed in outrage, placing her hands on her waist.
“For God’s sake, Erin. It’s been decades since we got married, and I’ve given you something every day since. But I stop for a while and suddenly I’m cheating on you? Are you crazy?” Mike asked, focusing on his wife.
“I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND! DON’T YOU LOVE ME ANYMORE?” Erin yelled.
Mike stood up from the couch at that question and looked at his wife seriously. “Maybe I’m tired of being the only one making some sort of romantic gesture!” he blurted. “56 years, Erin! For 56 years, I was the only one expressing any kind of romance. I invite you on dates. I buy flowers. I buy gifts. I do EVERYTHING! And you simply take everything and give nothing back!”
Erin’s mouth dropped at her husband’s words, but Mike didn’t stick around to see it and went out for a walk to cool down.
Meanwhile, she slumped on the kitchen table and thought back to their marriage. Mike was not entirely wrong. She never asked him on dates or bought him much. Erin could excuse her behavior, saying that they were born in a different time, where the men made all the effort in the romance aspect. But that was a cheap cop-out.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
Erin thought maintaining their home, cooking, and raising their children was enough. But their kids had moved away many years ago. She still cleaned and cooked, but clearly, her husband had all the pressure of keeping their spark alive. That was unfair to him, so Erin decided to change a few things.
When Mike returned, she asked him on a date and was going to pay. However, her husband refused.
“I don’t want to do that right now,” he said, going to their room and barely speaking to her that night.
Fair enough, Erin thought. Mike was angry at her, but she could be patient and wait for his anger to subside.
Unfortunately, nothing she did appeased him. Mike would not accept her tries at romantic gestures and grew angry every time she insisted. Erin bought him some flowers at one point, and he frowned at them.
“These are more for you, right?” Mike asked, still frowning and quirking one eyebrow. “You don’t have to keep doing these things, Erin. We are already too old for this.”
“What do you mean? I’m trying to give back what I haven’t in 56 years. Why can’t you accept it?” Erin snapped back, raising her hands at her sides. She was completely confused by his attitude now. Wasn’t this was he asked for?
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
“Because this is not what I wanted. I just want us to relax and stop trying so hard. We’re old. We’ve had more than enough romance in our lives. Now, it’s time to just… be,” Mike replied, giving her the flowers back and going to the porch for a smoke.
Erin looked at him sitting outside, and her heart broke. She couldn’t deal with it. She didn’t understand why he suddenly didn’t want any romance. Is there an expiration date for love? Erin thought glumly, walking back to her room.
She tried to make this new arrangement work, but it was hard. Mike didn’t kiss or hug her as often. Suddenly, she was also shy around him. That had not happened in half a century. Two months passed since then, and it simply wasn’t working.
Therefore, Erin asked him for a divorce. She couldn’t live with someone she didn’t love.
Mike was shocked but agreed to move while Erin stayed in their house. Their son, Henry, took him in, although this new arrangement concerned the rest of their children. Their two daughters, Alexandra and Marissa, tried to change Erin’s mind, but their mother was determined.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
“If the romance is over, there’s no reason to be married,” she told her girls stubbornly. Shortly after, Erin filed for divorce, and a few months later, it was finalized.
Mike was still at Henry’s house when the landline rang. Henry’s wife answered and suddenly exclaimed, “What?!”
The older man looked up from his novel, focusing on his son’s wife, as she turned to look at him with the most concerned expression on her face. “Ok, we’ll be right there,” she said to the phone and hung up. “Mike, we have to go to the hospital. Erin just had a heart attack!”
Mike’s eyes widened in surprise before he went into action. He rushed to his jacket, throwing his book and reading glasses away.
When they reached the hospital, the doctor explained that Erin was alright but couldn’t move much. Mike sat down beside her and never left. He hand-fed her and kept her company. When she was discharged, he refused to leave their house, claiming that he was there to help.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
But Henry, Marissa, and Alexandra knew the truth. Their dad was back home because he loved their mother and never stopped despite the divorce. Soon enough, the flowers and the romantic gestures kept coming again.
And when Erin got better, she returned the gestures so that Mike would never feel slighted ever again. They rekindled their romance and remarried on what would’ve been their original 58th anniversary.
What can we learn from this story?
- Reciprocation is essential in any relationship. Both partners must work hard to maintain a relationship.
- Find out your spouse’s love language. Some people love giving gifts, and others prefer acts of service. It’s crucial to find out what your partner likes before creating problems.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
The 7 Funniest Jokes About Husbands and Wives That Every Couple Can Relate To
Marriage has its ups and downs, but there’s always space for laughter. The daily moments between husbands and wives can be heartwarming and funny, as shown in these jokes.
From surprising notes to clever replies, these seven jokes showcase the playful side of marriage. Whether you’re married or just enjoy a good laugh, these stories will make you nod in agreement and chuckle at their unexpected turns.
1 The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there can be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels unappreciated. This joke takes that idea to the extreme when a wife tries to teach her husband a lesson with a note, only to be shocked by his reaction.
A woman, upset that her husband was late coming home again, left a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you. Don’t bother looking for me.” She then hid under the bed to see how he would react.
After a short time, the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen and saw him go to the dresser to pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it and called someone.
“She’s finally gone… Yes, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the fun things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. When she came out from under the bed, furious and in tears, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”
2 The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, simple misunderstandings can blow up, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously shows how quickly a situation can escalate when assumptions are made, only for the truth to make everyone laugh.
When a husband came home, he found his wife crying. She said, “The pharmacist insulted me on the phone this morning!”
Angry, the husband drove to the pharmacy to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. But before he could speak, the pharmacist said, “Wait, let me explain. This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late.”
“I skipped breakfast and rushed to the car, only to realize I locked my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then I drove too fast and got a speeding ticket. While driving to work, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened the pharmacy, there was already a line. And the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”
He added, “I had to break a roll of coins to make change, but they spilled everywhere. When I stood up, I hit my head on the cash drawer, and all the perfume bottles fell and broke. Then the phone rang, and it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and all I did was tell her.”
3 The Family Secret
Family secrets can be surprising and funny. In this joke, a young man is excited about his upcoming marriage until his father reveals some shocking news, leading to a hilarious twist.
One Sunday morning, George rushed into the living room and shouted, “Dad! Mom! I have great news! I’m marrying the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”
Later, George’s dad pulled him aside and said, “Son, we need to talk. Look at your mom. We’ve been married for 30 years. She’s a great wife and mom, but she’s not very exciting. I used to cheat on her, and Susan is your half-sister, so you can’t marry her.”
George was heartbroken. After eight months, he started dating again. A year later, he proudly said, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again, his father pulled him aside to share more bad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m sorry.”
George was furious! He went to his mother with what his father said. “Dad is ruining my life. I guess I’ll never get married. Every time I like a girl, Dad says she’s my half-sister.”
His mother laughed and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s not really your father.”
4 The Fried Eggs Incident
Everyday tasks like cooking breakfast can lead to funny arguments between spouses. This joke turns a simple breakfast into a humorous look at how we all sometimes feel the need to give advice, especially when the roles are reversed.
A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast when her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful!” he said. “Put in more butter! You’re cooking too many at once! Turn them! We need more butter! Oh no, they’re going to stick! Be careful! You never listen to me when you cook! Hurry! Don’t forget to salt them!”
The wife stared at him. “What’s wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “Sure you do. I just wanted to show you how it feels when I’m driving.”
5 The Supermarket Strategy
Shopping in a busy supermarket can be stressful, especially if you lose track of your spouse. This joke shows how resourceful one husband can be when looking for his wife, with a touch of humor.
In a supermarket, Ivan lost sight of his wife. He approached a young lady and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” asked the lady, confused by Ivan’s request.
“It’s always the same. As soon as I start talking to a pretty woman, my wife pops up out of nowhere.”
The Flu Revelation
Being stuck at home with the flu is never fun, but this joke shows how a man’s sickness revealed his wife’s true feelings in a surprising and funny way. Sometimes love can be found in unexpected situations.
A man visited a friend who had been sick with the flu for weeks.
“How was it?” the man asked.
“Surprisingly wonderful,” the friend replied.
“How so?” the man asked.
“Well, I found out how much my wife loves me and how happy she is to have me home.”
“How do you know?”
“Every time the postman, the milkman, or the trash collector comes by, she runs out shouting, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
The Late-Night Approach
Sometimes sneaking in late after a night out doesn’t go as planned. In this joke, two husbands compare how they deal with their wives when they come home late, revealing that a more direct approach can be the best way.
Two married friends were out drinking when one said, “I don’t know what to do. When I come home after drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I coast into the garage, take off my shoes before entering the house, sneak upstairs, change in the bathroom, and slip into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”
His friend replied, “You’re doing it wrong. I drive into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, flush the toilet loudly, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, and jump into bed saying, ‘Do you want to make love?’ And every time, she acts like she’s sound asleep!”
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