Navigating changes in a relationship, particularly those related to physical appearance, can be a delicate and emotional journey. A Bright Side reader is having a hard time after his wife underwent plastic surgery. He shared a letter with us seeking our advice.
He shared his side of the story.
Here are some tips that we believe can help you.
- Reflect on Your Feelings: Take some time to reflect on your feelings and understand why the changes in your wife’s appearance are affecting you. Are your concerns purely aesthetic, or do they come from deeper emotional reasons? Understanding your own feelings will help you communicate more effectively with your wife.
- Communicate Honestly and Compassionately: Approach the topic with empathy and compassion. Let your wife know that you love her deeply and that your concerns come from a place of care. Use «I» statements to express your feelings without placing blame.
- Focus on Emotions, Not Criticism: Avoid criticizing your wife’s appearance directly. Instead, focus on expressing how the changes make you feel. For example, you might say, «I miss the unique features that made you who you are,» rather than, «You don’t look like yourself anymore.»
- Reassure Her of Your Love: Make sure your wife knows that your love for her goes beyond physical appearance. Reassure her that you’re committed to supporting her through any challenges she faces, including those related to self-image.
- Encourage Open Dialogue: Encourage open and honest communication between the two of you. Create a safe space where both of you feel comfortable expressing your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.
- Seek Professional Help If Needed: If you find it difficult to navigate these conversations on your own, consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor. A professional can provide guidance and support as you work through your feelings together.
- Focus on Shared Activities: Spend quality time together engaging in activities that you both enjoy. Focus on building emotional intimacy and strengthening your bond as a couple.
- Support Her Self-Esteem: Encourage your wife to focus on aspects of herself that she feels confident about, aside from her appearance. Remind her of her strengths and accomplishments.
- Be Patient and Understanding: Remember that adjusting to changes in appearance can be a complex process, and it may take time for both of you to adapt. Be patient with each other and offer support along the way.
- Explore Ways to Reconnect: Find ways to reconnect as a couple and reignite the spark in your relationship. Whether it’s through shared hobbies, romantic gestures, or simply spending quality time together, prioritize nurturing your connection.
By approaching the situation with empathy, understanding, and open communication, you can navigate this challenging time with grace and compassion.
Meet Myrtle, the Woman Who Was Born With 4 Legs and Eventually Became a Mom
Josephine Myrtle Corbin was born with a rare birth defect called polymelia, meaning born with extra limbs, in her case, she had 4 legs, 2 normal ones and 2 smaller ones that grew from her hips. But there was more to it. She also had 2 sets of reproductive organs and 2 pelvises. Because of this rare occurrence, she’s probably one of the few people in history considered wonders. Let’s delve into Myrtle’s story and discover her exceptional life milestones.Myrtle was considered a rare and remarkable case of human development.
Josephine Myrtle Corbin, an American sideshow performer, came into the world in 1868 as a remarkable medical rarity. Affected by a condition known as dipygus, she possessed two lower bodies from the waist down. This unusual phenomenon occurred due to her body axis splitting during development, resulting in two separate pelvises side by side. Remarkably, her smaller inner legs were paired with one of her outer legs. While Myrtle could move her inner legs, but they were too weak to walk on.
Born in Tennessee to her parents, William and Nancy, Myrtle’s arrival brought both wonder and concern. At 25, her father, William, and 34-year-old mother, Nancy, welcomed the unique little Myrtle into their lives. Medical professionals noted that if Myrtle had been delivered breech, with her bottom first, it could have been potentially fatal for both her and her mother. Thankfully, Myrtle’s early days were promising, as she displayed signs of strength, weighing 10 lb (4.5kg) just 3 weeks after her birth.
Myrtle’s father was facing financial hardship and had to think of ways to support his growing family.
© Charles Eisenmann (1855-1927) / Wikimedia Commons, © Public domain, © Palette.fm
At the age of 5 weeks, people had the opportunity to visit William Corbin and marvel at his four-legged daughter for a small fee. As the years passed, Myrtle grew up accustomed to the constant stares and astonishment from those who encountered her rare condition. Her inner legs never fully developed, her right foot was clubbed, and both of the smaller legs had 3 toes on each foot.
Over the following decade, William took Myrtle on a journey across the country, where she participated in fairs, sideshows, and dime museums. By the time she turned 14, she had achieved success and managed to secure a lucrative contract paying her an unusually high salary of $250 per week.
The four-legged girl, Myrtle, had a younger sister named Ann, who fortunately did not suffer from any birth defects.
Myrtle married when she was 18 and later became a mother.
© James R. Applegate (1849–1910), Philadelphia / Wikimedia Commons, © Public Domain, © Palette.fm
As Myrtle entered adulthood, she grew weary of the constant attention she received due to her condition. At 18, she decided to marry James Bicknell, a medical student, after which she retired from her performing career. Interestingly, her fame had inspired others to attempt to fake her unique deformity, but all of these impostors were eventually exposed as frauds.
A year into their marriage, Myrtle experienced troubling symptoms like fever, nausea, headaches, and side pains. Concerned, she sought medical attention, and to her disbelief, the doctor revealed that she was pregnant on her left side. Myrtle skeptically responded, saying, “If it had been on my right side, I would come nearer believing you are correct.” The pregnancy proved challenging for her health, and doctors even advised her to consider an abortion due to the severity of her illness. However, Myrtle managed to recover swiftly.
Over the following years, James and Myrtle welcomed seven more children into their family. Tragically, only 5 of them survived infancy, 4 daughters and a son.
© Unknown author / Wikimedia Commons, © Public Domain
The family lived a quiet life until their 5 children reached adulthood. Then Myrtle re-entered the show business. In 1909, when Myrtle was 41, she was a part of Huber’s Museum exhibit, appearing as The Four-Legged Girl from Cleburne, Texas. She often dressed her 4 legs in matching shoes and socks, to the audience’s delight. She was making $450 per week at the time.
In 1928, Myrtle developed a skin infection on her right leg, and the doctor diagnosed her with erysipelas or a strep infection. A week later, on May 6th, 1928, Myrtle passed away. Her casket was covered in concrete, and family members kept watch until it was fully cured to prevent grave robbers from stealing her remains.
Almost a century later, Josephine Myrtle Corbin Bicknell continues to inspire others by proving that even in the 19th century, a woman could forge a successful career and become a mother all at once.
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