A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.
Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.
Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.
Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.
Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.
A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”
Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.
While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?
Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”
With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.
There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).
A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.
Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.
Bless!
Paris Hilton, sad news
Paris Hilton revealed her anguish and annoyance at hearing disparaging remarks about her 8-month-old baby, Phoenix Barron, in a recent emotional social media post.
Hilton didn’t take long to protect her child from these harmful remarks because she is a strong and compassionate mother.
An Amazing and Hardy Child
Hilton, who is renowned for her composure under duress, highlighted that Phoenix the infant is both “perfectly healthy” and has a “large brain.” She wished to convey that her son is a happy, independent young man who is deserving of love and respect.
Hilton vented her frustration on her Instagram Story about people who would harm her child. She anticipates remarks because she is a well-known person, but it is just “unacceptable” and extremely upsetting to target her child or anybody else’s.
Hilton is hoping for the same in return for all of the hard work she has put into creating a loving, respectful, and accepting workplace.
The Difficulties of Being a Mother in Public
It may be difficult to navigate parenthood in the spotlight, and Hilton is aware of the particular difficulties she encounters. Some people believe she’s not a good mother if she doesn’t share pictures of her child on social media.
However, there are some that react cruelly and hatefully when she does share happy moments. Hilton doesn’t waver in her devotion to and delight in her kid, though.
She calls him the “biggest blessing” of her life and describes him as “perfectly healthy, adorable, and angelic.” Her desire to have a child has really come true.
For Hilton, spending each day with Phoenix is a potent reminder of what’s important in life. In spite of the nasty remarks, she begs for compassion and understanding from others.
She finds it hard to understand why someone would criticize such innocence. Through her brave narrative, Paris Hilton aspires to encourage greater empathy in society.
Although the event made her more aware of cruelty, it also brought her support from mothers in her community and online who stood up for her and Phoenix.
Knowing that there are so many people in the world that adore and support me fills me with such gratitude. It meant a lot to me that someone was watching out for Phoenix and that they would stand up for me.
The Paris in Love actress claims that parents have been reaching out to her via emails, direct messages, and other correspondence, saying they couldn’t believe she had to go through this at such an early stage of motherhood.
“I just read through all of the notes expressing how much people like Phoenix, how stunning he is, and how important it is to ignore trolls. Seeing how much love there is for my son and me simply meant a lot to me. I sincerely thank everyone who is reading this. I sincerely appreciate everyone’s concern for us.
As she begins this new chapter of parenting with Reum, Hilton, a mother of two, enters the holiday season and declares herself to be “just over the moon that our little princess is here!”
“Having my little baby boy and now my little girl makes my life feel so complete,” the woman tells PEOPLE.
Phoenix was born, and according to Hilton, the pair is “just so grateful and so happy.” Being able to spend our first holidays as parents is amazing.
“I’m eagerly anticipating those times. I’ve always loved the holidays, but now that I have family to spend them with, they’re even more meaningful to me.
Celebrating the Arrival of Phoenix
On January 16, Paris Hilton and her husband Carter Reum welcomed their first child, Phoenix, into the world via surrogacy.
Hilton expressed her unfathomable love for Phoenix on Instagram along with the happy news of his arrival. By telling people about this amazing tale of love and hope, let’s celebrate it. We can share compassion and understanding by working together.
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