A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.
Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.
Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.
Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.
Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.
A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”
Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.
While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?
Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”
With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.
There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).
A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.
Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.
Bless!
Man Mocked For Being With 252 LB Woman, Has The Perfect Response To Shut Haters Up
We expose ourselves to criticism when we post details of our lives online for everyone to see.
Since this young couple likes to share images of themselves online, some have responded harshly to them.
But their witty response to the criticism offers a sobering reminder of the importance of sticking to one’s convictions.
The story of Matt and Brittany Montgomery is one of those that occurs frequently but is yet fantastic because of the characters.
After they met and fell in love, the two started a life together right away.
Although the story of the pair may seem familiar, there is one important difference: the male is much bigger than the woman.
Brittany has battled her entire life to feel accepted and included. Her controlling parents did not make her feel protected, and she frequently left their talks feeling empty.
She started to detest her appearance and feel self-conscious as a result.
She experienced two different kinds of guys because she was a plus-size woman: those who were attracted to her curves and those who wanted her to lose weight.
Her bad luck in dating had her thinking about giving up on finding love altogether.
However, fate had different ideas for her! August 2020 saw her meet Matt Montgomery online. Even though their bodies couldn’t be more dissimilar, their spirits were more bonded than ever.
“I was a bit hesitant at first,” Brittany thought to herself. Guys have threatened to break up with me in past relationships if I don’t start dieting or make an effort to lose weight. It did have an impact on my confidence, and I did attempt to change my size by working out at one time.
They knew they were in love with one other, nevertheless. On January 30, 2022, Matt proposed, and the couple started preparing for the future right away.
Although they are very comfortable with each other, they talked about how others may view their relationship.
“People comment on Instagram and suggest that I’m not big enough or man enough for her,” Matt stated in response to a question regarding the remarks on his Instagram photo.”I do notice people staring when we walk down the street,” he continued.
No matter how many others don’t understand it and condemn their relationship, they still just have love for one another.
Matt has had a difficult time interacting with women that are “normal” size in the past.
Matt came to the conclusion that Brittany is, in fact, his soul mate because of the way she makes him feel. He strives to make sure she’s happy since he loves her for who she is.
He recently told her, “You are worthy, you are deserving of infinite love every single day and more,” demonstrating his love for her without holding back. I can tell we were meant to be together by the way you look at me and feel the same way I do about you.
He demonstrates his love for his spouse and the depth of their relationship beyond what is visible by captioning the picture of him and his wife with the offensive remarks people have made on other couples’ images. What a fantastic victory over the doubters!
The two are attempting to standardize interactions between individuals of various sizes. She said, “I wish mixed-weight relationships were more common and more the norm,” expressing her desire for them to be.
The young couple only revealed this month that they expect Lakelyn, their second child, in September 2023. We wish them all the best.
Nothing is set in stone when it comes to finding true love and following your heart.
We should all make an effort to love and embrace one another no matter what.
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