I was stunned when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of blowing up, I played along.Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his newfound approach to marriage.
I’ve always prided myself on being the level-headed one in our marriage. Jake, bless his heart, could get swept up in things pretty easily, whether it was a new hobby, or some random YouTube video that promised to change his life in three easy steps.
But we were solid until Jake met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loudly opinionated made him right, the type that talks right over you when you try to correct him.
He was also a perpetually single guy (who could have guessed?), who graciously dispensed relationship advice to all his married colleagues, Jake included. Jake should’ve known better, but my darling husband was positively smitten with Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t think much of it until Jake started making some noxious comments.
“Steve says relationships work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” he’d say. Or “Steve thinks it’s important for women to look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I’d roll my eyes and reply with some sarcastic remark, but it was getting under my skin. Jake was changing. He’d arch his eyebrows if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and sigh when I let the laundry pile up because, God forbid, I had my own full-time job.
And then it happened. One night, he came home with The List.
He sat me down at the kitchen table, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across to me.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started, his voice dripping with a condescending tone I hadn’t heard from him before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa. But there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, oblivious to the danger zone he was entering. “Yeah. Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I stared at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule… and he’d written “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife” at the top in bold.
This guy had actually sat down and mapped out my entire week based on what Steve — a single guy with zero relationship experience — thought I should do to “improve” myself as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast. Then I’d hit the gym for an hour to “stay in shape.”
After that? A delightful lineup of chores: cleaning, laundry, ironing. And that was all before I left for work. I was supposed to cook a meal from scratch every evening and make fancy snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over to hang out at our place.
The whole thing was sexist and insulting on so many levels I didn’t even know where to start. I ended up staring at him, wondering if my husband had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, oblivious.
“Steve says it’s important to maintain structure, and I think you could benefit from —”
“I could benefit from what?” I interrupted, my voice dangerously calm. Jake blinked, caught off guard by the interruption, but he recovered quickly.
“Well, you know, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw that paper in his face and ask him if he’d developed a death wish. Instead, I did something that surprised even me: I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m so lucky that you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
The relief on his face was instant. I almost felt sorry for him as I got up and stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I couldn’t help but smirk as I studied the ridiculous schedule again. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” then he was about to find out just how much structure our life could really handle.
I pulled out my laptop, opened up a fresh document, and titled it, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” He wanted a perfect wife? Fine. But there was a cost to perfection.
I began by listing all the things he had suggested for me, starting with the gym membership he was so keen on. It was laughable, really.
“$1,200 for a personal trainer.” I typed, barely containing my giggle.
Next came the food. If Jake wanted to eat like a king, that wasn’t happening on our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That stuff didn’t come cheap.
“$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. He’d probably need to chip in for a cooking class too. Those were pricey, but hey, perfection wasn’t free.
I leaned back in my chair, laughing to myself as I imagined Jake’s face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. Oh no, the pièce de résistance was still to come.
See, there was no way I could juggle all these expectations while holding down my job. If Jake wanted me to dedicate myself full-time to his absurd routine, then he’d have to compensate for the loss of my income.
I pulled up a calculator, estimating the value of my salary. Then, I added it to the list, complete with a little note: “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time personal assistant, maid, and chef.”
My stomach hurt from laughing at this point.
And just for good measure, I threw in a suggestion about him needing to expand the house. After all, if he was going to have his friends over regularly, they’d need a dedicated space that wouldn’t intrude on my newly organized, impossibly structured life.
“$50,000 to build a separate ‘man cave’ so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s schedule.”
By the time I was done, the list was a masterpiece. A financial and logistical nightmare, sure, but a masterpiece nonetheless. It wasn’t just a counterattack — it was a wake-up call.
I printed it out, set it neatly on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he finally walked through the door that evening, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called out, dropping his keys on the counter. He spotted the paper almost immediately. “What’s this?”
I kept my face neutral, fighting the urge to laugh as I watched him pick it up. “Oh, it’s just a little list I put together for you,” I said sweetly, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
Jake chuckled, thinking I was playing along with his little game. But as he scanned the first few lines, the grin started to fade. I could see the wheels turning in his head, the slow realization that this wasn’t the lighthearted joke he thought it was.
“Wait… what is all this?” He squinted at the numbers, his eyes widening as he saw the total costs. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I leaned against the kitchen island, crossing my arms.
“Well, you want me to wake up at 5 a.m., hit the gym, make gourmet breakfasts, clean the house, cook dinner, and host your friends. I figured we should budget for all of that, don’t you think?”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?!”
I shrugged. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
He stared at the paper, dumbfounded.
The numbers, the absurdity of his own demands, it all hit him at once. His smugness evaporated, replaced by a dawning realization that he had seriously, seriously messed up.
“I… I didn’t mean…” Jake stammered, looking at me with wide eyes. “Lisa, I didn’t mean for it to be like this. I just thought —”
Saleswoman Humiliates Customer for Her Size, Meets Her at Boyfriend’s Home for Christmas
I’ve got a holiday tale that’s stranger than fiction. It all started with a mockery and unfolded into a Christmas dinner none of us will ever forget.
So, recently, I went to the shopping mall to choose a dress for Christmas dinner, which I was hosting. There’s this young woman, Claire. She works in the sales department, and let’s just say she has a knack for spreading holiday cheer in the most unconventional way.
An older woman looks at the dress in the shop | Source: Shutterstock
She decided to play fashion critic at the shop, and when I wore a dress that she chose for me, she started mocking me. Loud enough for everyone to hear, she said, “You definitely need a bigger size, or it’ll blow up on you on Christmas, or maybe a diet will help you.”
A seller woman mocks someone | Source: Shutterstock
Some were baffled, some giggled. Classy, right? I ignored it and left the shop, as I had no time, no energy to put this sassy girl in her place.
When I got home, I tried calling my husband, but he was unavailable. My son was present, and I couldn’t hold back my tears while explaining everything to him. He became furious and insisted on knowing the name of the shop to confront the saleswoman. However, I stopped him; I didn’t want to escalate the conflict further. Not now, maybe later.
Christmas Eve arrived, and I eagerly waited for my son and his girlfriend. It must have been the first time we met her. In fact, the whole family had gathered today. It was a special day, and it turned out to be even more memorable than I expected. The couple entered the home, and…little did I know, my son’s girlfriend turned out to be the woman who mocked me in the shop.
Now, here’s where it gets interesting. The moment Claire realized what she did, her face turned all shades of red. She was mortified and desperately wanted to escape the awkward situation. She claimed she was suddenly feeling unwell and suggested leaving the house. My first thought was that I had to kick her out. But then, I decided to give her one more chance. Maybe she had problems while mocking me. Maybe it was a bad day for her. Being the gracious hostess that I am, I persuaded her to stay. I stretched my mouth into a smile: “Oh, Claire, it’s so great to finally meet you! Please come! We’ll take care of you.”
A Christmas dinner in a family circle | Source: Shutterstock
As we all sat down for dinner, there was a noticeable tension in the air. The young woman, trying to play it cool, avoided eye contact with me, the supposed unsuspecting mother. Little did she know what was expecting her. We all had an amazing dinner. Laughed a lot and talked about everything. Our relatives shared what happened to them during this year. All felt so relaxed except for one. From time to time, she nervously made cheap and even cruel jokes, making my mother-in-law feel uncomfortable a few times. I saw my son grabbing her hand and stopping her. But for me, that was it.
There came the moment we had all been waiting for. Right there, in the midst of the Christmas feast, I decided to unwrap a little surprise of my own. “You know, I would never spoil our Christmas, but there’s a person who isn’t worth being here.” I shared with the whole family what Claire said to me in the shop. You could practically hear a pin drop as the truth hung in the air.
The shock on everyone’s faces, especially my son’s, was something out of a movie. Claire, who was so quick to mock others, suddenly found herself in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons.
My son, God bless him, couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Without hesitation, he took charge of the situation. He looked at Claire with a mix of disappointment and disbelief and, right then and there, kicked her out, ending their relationship on the spot.
A man is arguing with his girlfriend during dinner | Source: Shutterstock
As Claire gathered her things and left, there was a strange sense of poetic justice in the air. The woman who had no qualms about ridiculing someone’s appearance was then facing the consequences of her own words.
Later that night, as we cleaned up the remnants of what was supposed to be a joyous Christmas dinner, my son approached me. He thanked me for being honest and showing him who Claire truly was. He admitted that he deserved someone who treated others with kindness and respect.
An adult son hugs his older mom | Source: Shutterstock
Justice doesn’t take a holiday. And sometimes, the best gift you can receive is the truth, even if it comes with a side of unexpected drama. Cheers to a Christmas I’ll never forget!
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