While preparing for my niece’s christening, I met a man different from anyone I had ever known. He was kind, thoughtful, and impossible not to like. But he had made a choice long before we met, one that stood between us. I never imagined how it would all end—or how much it would change me.
I stood in front of Sarah’s house, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. That day, we were finalizing the details for Ellie’s christening, something Sarah had been stressing about for weeks.
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I rang the doorbell and waited. Nothing. I rang it again. Still nothing. Frowning, I tried the handle—it turned easily. The door was unlocked.
Stepping inside, I was immediately hit by a wall of noise. Ellie’s wails filled the house, high-pitched and relentless.
Sarah was darting back and forth, juggling bottles and stuffed animals with the frantic energy of someone running on two hours of sleep. Mark stood nearby, hands hovering uselessly as he attempted to soothe Ellie.
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Silently, I slipped into the kitchen, grabbed a mug, and poured myself some coffee.
A moment later, Sarah rushed into the kitchen, her hair a mess, her face flushed. Her eyes widened.
“Oh, God! You scared me!” she gasped, pressing a hand to her chest. “How long have you been standing there?”
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“A while,” I said, taking another sip of coffee.
She frowned. “You could have helped, you know.”
I leaned against the counter. “I’m here for moral support.”
Sarah rolled her eyes. “You’re impossible.”
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Just then, the doorbell rang. Sarah straightened, her whole demeanor changing. “Oh, that must be him!” she said, hurrying toward the door.
At least she heard this doorbell.
Curious, I followed her. As I stepped into the hallway, I saw a man standing at the entrance. A very attractive man. Very attractive.
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Sarah smirked. “Claire, are you done with your coffee?”
“Something like that,” I said, my eyes still on him.
Sarah gestured toward him. “Then I’d like to introduce you. Claire, this is Father Nathan. He’ll be christening Ellie.”
I blinked. “Father?” I looked him up and down. No collar. No robe. “Where’s your—” I made a circle around my neck.
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“I’m allowed to wear regular clothes,” he said, amused.
I crossed my arms. “You don’t look like a priest.”
“Thank you. I’ll take that as a compliment,” he said, still smiling.
“You should,” I said.
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Sarah clapped her hands together. “Alright, let’s go over the details.”
We all moved into the living room. I sat at the far end, keeping my distance from the baby. She made me nervous.
All babies did. Sarah and Mark discussed the ceremony, asking Nathan about traditions and schedules. I tuned most of it out.
“So, what do you do?” Nathan asked, turning to me.
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“Oh, I own an art supply store,” I said.
“You’re an artist?”
“No, but I sell materials for artists. Without me, they’d be nothing,” I said.
He laughed. A real, warm laugh.
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For the first time all day, I felt seen. The meeting went on, but Nathan and I kept talking. Jokes, small talk, teasing. It felt easy. Familiar.
When we were both in the entryway, getting ready to leave, he asked, “Why aren’t you the godmother?”
“Babies scare me. And kids.”
“Oh, I understand. Me too.”
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“But you’re—”
“These will be my first christenings. I just hope I don’t forget that babies can’t swim,” he said.
I laughed. “That’s an honest answer.”
“Lying is a sin. And He sees everything,” Nathan said, pointing to the ceiling. He hesitated, then added, “I’d love to see you at church sometime.”
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I swallowed. “Oh, I wouldn’t call myself particularly religious.”
“Well, if you ever feel like it, I’ll be there,” he said.
And I don’t know why, but I listened to him.
That Sunday, I found myself sitting in a wooden pew, surrounded by families, older couples, and a few scattered individuals like me.
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The church smelled of candle wax and old books. I folded my hands in my lap, unsure what to do.
Nathan spoke with ease, his voice warm, his words thoughtful. He told stories, made people laugh, yet never lost the meaning behind his sermon. People seemed to like him—and oh, how I understood why.
Nathan was impossible not to like.
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After the service, I walked toward him.
“So, you actually came,” Nathan said, smiling.
I nodded. “Yeah. It was… different. In a good way.”
“Glad to hear that. I try not to make people fall asleep.” He grinned.
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“Well, you kept me awake,” I said.
“Would you like some coffee or tea?” he asked.
“I’d love some,” I said, and he led me to his… office? I wasn’t sure what they were called.
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That day, we talked for hours. The conversation flowed so easily—about faith, the church, people, and life in general.
Nathan listened without judgment, spoke with honesty, and made me think in ways I hadn’t before.
I felt more comfortable with him than I had with anyone in a long time. That should have been a good thing, but it wasn’t.
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He was a priest. And it killed me to know that he was a priest—that I could never have a real relationship with him.
Still, I kept coming back. Almost every day, we found something new to talk about.
One day, we sat on a park bench, the sun warm against my skin. Talking to Nathan felt easy, natural.
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“You can’t get married. What would you do if you liked someone?” I asked, glancing at him.
He smirked. “I’d invite her to my services, talk to her, agree to christen her niece, and hope she leaves me alone.”
I smiled, feeling my cheeks heat up. “And if you fell in love with someone?”
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Nathan’s smile faded. He let out a slow breath. “The path I chose requires me to devote my life and love to God.”
I swallowed hard. “I could never do that.”
Nathan turned toward me. “That’s why talking to you is good for me. You challenge me. You make me question things.”
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His eyes met mine. My heart pounded. And then, without thinking, I kissed him.
For a moment, he kissed me back. Warm. Certain. Then, suddenly, he pulled away, his face pale.
“No, this is wrong,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.” He stood up and walked away.
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I sat frozen, watching him disappear, feeling like I had just lost something I never really had.
The next day, my phone rang early. Sarah’s voice came through, shaky and rushed.
“Claire, he backed out! Nathan won’t do the christening. It’s tomorrow! What am I supposed to do?”
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I gripped the phone tighter. “What? Why?”
“He didn’t say. Just told Mark he couldn’t do it.”
I closed my eyes. I knew why. This was because of me. I tried to calm Sarah, but she was too upset.
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After hanging up, I went to the church. Nathan wasn’t there. No one knew where he was.
That evening, a knock at my door startled me. I opened it and froze. Nathan stood there, his expression unreadable.
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“Your sister gave me your address,” he said. His voice was quiet, but his eyes held something heavy.
I stepped aside. “Come in.”
He walked in, standing awkwardly in the middle of my living room. I crossed my arms. “Sarah is panicking. You need to do the christening.”
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Nathan sighed. “I already agreed. My conscience wouldn’t let me refuse.”
Relief flooded through me. “Good. Then why are you here?”
He ran a hand through his hair, looking more unsure than I’d seen him. “I gave up a lot to have the life I have. Years of training, sacrifice, purpose. Then you showed up.” His eyes met mine. “And now, I doubt everything.”
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I swallowed hard. “I’m sorry.”
“I can’t stop thinking about you. I pray, I work, I read, and it’s still you. It should be Him. My mind should be clear. It’s not.”
I stared at him, unable to speak. My throat tightened, my chest ached.
“Screw it,” Nathan muttered. Then, before I could react, he grabbed me and kissed me.
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I kissed him back without hesitation.
He stayed the night…If you know what I mean.
By morning, I stared at the ceiling, my heart pounding. I felt warm beside him, but my mind spun.
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“I can’t believe you actually did this,” I said, barely above a whisper.
Nathan sat up, rubbing his face. “Neither can I.”
We both knew what this meant.
It was the day of the christening. Nathan dressed quickly, avoiding my eyes.
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He muttered something about needing to be at the church early. Then he was gone.
I sat on the edge of my bed, staring at the empty space where he had been. My heart felt heavy, but I pushed the feeling down.
I got ready, put on a simple dress, and drove to the church.
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The ceremony went perfectly. Nathan spoke with warmth and confidence, his voice steady, his smile easy. No one would have guessed he was struggling.
Afterward, Sarah and Mark hosted a celebration. Laughter filled the house, food covered the table, and everyone seemed happy.
Nathan and I left at the same time. We didn’t plan it, but suddenly, we were standing outside together, alone.
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The air between us was thick with unspoken words. I knew this was it. The moment I had been dreading.
“You did well today,” I said. My voice was even, but I felt unsteady.
“Thanks.” Nathan wouldn’t look at me.
I exhaled slowly. “It’s not going to be me, is it?” My voice wavered. “It’s going to be Him.”
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He finally met my eyes. “…Yeah.”
I let out a small, sad laugh. My vision blurred. “The funniest part of all this? I love you.”
Nathan pulled me into a tight hug, his arms lingering before he let go.
“This won’t last forever,” he murmured.
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I forced a smile. “So… see you Sunday at mass?”
Nathan chuckled, though his eyes were sad. “Yeah. But seriously? You’re banned from my services for life.”
He turned, hesitated, then looked back.
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“I love you too.”
Then he walked away.
And that was the last time I ever saw him.
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Men May Get Hurt More Than Women During a Breakup, and Here’s Why
Breakups are never easy. They bring a whirlwind of emotions, self-reflection, and sometimes, heart-wrenching pain. While it’s commonly believed that women are more emotional during a breakup, recent studies suggest that men may actually experience more emotional distress than women.
Why is that? The answer lies in a mix of psychological, societal, and emotional factors that shape how men handle breakups. Let’s dive into the reasons why breakups tend to hit men harder and what they can do to recover.
Men and Emotional Vulnerability: A Silent Struggle
From a young age, men are often conditioned to suppress their emotions. Society teaches them that showing vulnerability is a sign of weakness. While women are encouraged to express their feelings and seek support, men are more likely to bottle up their emotions.
This emotional suppression can be damaging. When a breakup happens, men might not have a strong support system in place to help them process the pain. Many men rely on their romantic partners as their primary emotional support, so when that relationship ends, they often feel lost and alone.
Without an outlet to talk about their feelings, men may struggle with feelings of sadness, loneliness, and even depression—sometimes much more intensely than women.
Societal Expectations: The Pressure to “Man Up”
One of the biggest reasons men struggle with breakups is the pressure to “man up” and move on quickly. Society often expects men to show emotional resilience, discouraging them from expressing grief or sadness.
Women, on the other hand, are more likely to seek comfort from friends, discuss their emotions, and actively work through their pain. Men, however, are often expected to act as if nothing has happened.
This need to maintain a tough exterior can prolong the healing process. Instead of working through their emotions, men might turn to distractions like excessive work, alcohol, or rebound relationships—only to find that the pain resurfaces later.
Why Romantic Relationships Matter More to Men
Men and women often approach relationships differently. While women tend to build multiple sources of emotional support through friendships and family, men frequently rely on their romantic partners as their main source of emotional intimacy.
When that relationship ends, it’s not just the loss of a girlfriend or wife—it’s the loss of a best friend, a confidant, and sometimes, their only emotional support system.
This can make the breakup feel like a double hit, leaving men struggling not only with heartbreak but also with a deep sense of emotional isolation.
Delayed Grief: Why Men Take Longer to Heal
Men and women grieve breakups differently. Women tend to feel the emotional pain more intensely at first, but they also process it faster by talking about it and seeking closure.
Men, however, often delay confronting their emotions. Instead of immediately processing the pain, they may distract themselves with work, hobbies, or casual relationships. But unresolved feelings don’t just disappear—they resurface later, sometimes in the form of depression, anxiety, or a lingering sense of emptiness.
This delayed emotional response can make breakups more painful for men in the long run, prolonging the healing process.
The Role of Attachment Styles in Breakup Pain
Attachment styles—the way people form emotional bonds—also play a role in how men experience breakups. Studies suggest that men are more likely to have an avoidant attachment style, meaning they struggle with emotional closeness but still feel deeply affected when a relationship ends.
This paradox can make breakups especially painful for men. On one hand, they may try to act indifferent and suppress their feelings. On the other hand, they might secretly feel heartbroken and unable to move on.
Women, by contrast, are more likely to have secure or anxious attachment styles, making them more willing to process and express their emotions.
Men Tend to Romanticize Past Relationships
Another reason men may suffer more after a breakup is that they often romanticize their past relationships. Instead of focusing on why the relationship ended, they tend to idealize the good times and overlook the problems.
Women, on the other hand, are more likely to process a breakup by analyzing what went wrong. This approach helps them gain clarity and move forward.
For men, however, this nostalgia can trap them in a cycle of regret and longing, making it even harder to let go and heal.
The Physical Impact of Breakups on Men
Breakups don’t just affect emotional health—they take a toll on physical health as well. Research suggests that men are more likely than women to experience:
- Sleep disturbances (insomnia or excessive sleeping)
- Changes in appetite (weight loss or gain)
- Weakened immune system (higher stress levels, increased risk of illness)
- Risky behaviors (drinking, smoking, reckless behavior)
Since men are less likely to seek emotional support, the stress of a breakup can manifest physically, leading to long-term health problems.
Why Women Heal Faster
Women tend to have healthier coping mechanisms when dealing with a breakup. They are more likely to:
- Talk about their emotions with friends and family
- Seek professional help like therapy or counseling
- Engage in self-care routines, like exercise or journaling
- Reflect on the relationship to understand what went wrong
These strategies allow women to process their emotions faster, helping them heal and move on more effectively than men.
Men, on the other hand, often suppress their pain and avoid dealing with it head-on, which ultimately prolongs their suffering.
How Men Can Heal After a Breakup
If breakups tend to hit men harder, what can they do to heal faster and move forward?
- Acknowledge Your Feelings – It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused. Accept your emotions instead of suppressing them.
- Talk to Someone – Whether it’s a close friend, family member, or therapist, opening up can help release pent-up emotions.
- Prioritize Self-Care – Exercise, eat well, and maintain a healthy routine to keep both your mind and body in check.
- Stay Busy, But Don’t Avoid Healing – Engaging in new hobbies or activities is great, but don’t use them as an escape from your emotions.
- Reflect and Grow – Instead of dwelling on what’s lost, focus on what you’ve learned and how you can grow from the experience.
Healing takes time, but taking proactive steps can make the journey smoother and more empowering.
Conclusion: The Emotional Reality of Breakups for Men
While breakups are painful for everyone, men often struggle more due to emotional suppression, societal expectations, and a lack of support systems. Their tendency to avoid emotions, romanticize past relationships, and delay grief can make the healing process more challenging.
However, understanding these factors can pave the way for healthier coping strategies. By embracing vulnerability, seeking support, and focusing on self-care, men can heal and emerge stronger from a breakup.
At the end of the day, heartbreak is a painful but transformative experience. It’s not just about losing someone—it’s about rediscovering yourself, learning from the past, and preparing for healthier, more fulfilling relationships in the future.
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