According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
Think you know her? You might want to take a seat before discovering who she really is
Joan van Ark was born on June 16, 1943, in New York City, far from the world of entertainment. Her life took a significant turn during her teenage years while acting in Denver, where she met actress Julie Harris, who would greatly influence her career. Julie encouraged Joan to apply to the prestigious Yale Drama School and even helped her secure a scholarship, making Joan the second woman ever to enroll there.
Joan recalled: “Harris wrote to the dean and asked him to meet me. Long story short, my parents drove me to New Haven, Connecticut, where the dean awarded me a scholarship. It felt destined”. After honing her skills in theater, Joan shifted her focus to television, where she starred in shows like Temperature’s Rising, Spider-Woman, Days of Our Lives, and even made a guest appearance on Bonanza. However, it was her role as Valene Ewing on Dallas in 1978 that propelled her to stardom.
Her success on Dallas led to her starring in its spin-off, Knots Landing, which was actually developed before Dallas. Initially, Joan was set to join the Knots Landing cast, but she ended up reprising her role on Dallas first. It was her husband, newscaster John Marshall, who encouraged her to accept the role despite her busy schedule. When it was announced that Julie Harris would play Val’s mother, Joan was thrilled. “I couldn’t believe they had picked her to be my mother”, she recalled in a 1984 interview.
After 13 seasons and 327 episodes on Knots Landing, Joan left the show just before its final season. While many speculated that her departure contributed to the show’s cancellation, she was ready for new challenges. “I loved my time on that show”, she stated, expressing gratitude to the show’s creator, David Jacobs, and her co-star, Ted Shackelford, who she considered family.
Joan and John, who met in high school, have been happily married for over 58 years and share a daughter, Vanessa Marshall, who works in the entertainment industry. Now at 81, Joan has a net worth of $10 million and remains stunning. She was last spotted five years ago, casually paying for parking in workout attire.
Her most recent appearance was in the 2017 television film Psycho Wedding Crasher. After a remarkable 50-year career in entertainment, Joan van Ark is now a life member of The Actor’s Studio, solidifying her legacy as an icon.
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